I know that banner image isn’t a GIF, but I still haven’t taken the class on GIF editing through South New Hampshire State Tech’s amazing online program. Either way, it’s my effort to join in the fun of one of my latest favorite Tumblrs that friends have passed along to me. Today’s delightful meme is NBA Doppelgangers, which as the name suggests is a site dedicated to taking NBA players and finding celebrities that they look like. You know, like Dwight Howard and a cat. That Dwight, a big ol’ cat.

Among my favorite Doppelgangers that the site’s creator(s) has offered up are:

Russell Westbrook and Nicki Minaj
Anderson Varejao and Raggedy Ann
Chris Bosh and Godzilla
Chris Bosh and Jar Jar Binks
Jonas Valanciunas and C-Tates
Phil Jackson and Ned Flanders
Shaquille O’Neal and a Lego

And there are plenty more, some hilarious and one that is very familiar that I swear I’ve seen before, but my favorite part is the face-shifting GIFs.

Both amusing and frightening, these GIFs are pretty great, especially the Kyle Korver one because it’s true. In fact, it could be a picture of Korver morphing into another picture of Korver and I’d still say… well, you’ll see.

Read the rest of this entry »

Last week, NBA commissioner David Stern took our attention away from the remarkable success of his league’s shortened season and exciting playoffs when he nailed Jim Rome with a loaded question when asked if the NBA was fixed. “I know that you appreciate a good conspiracy theory as much as the next guy,” asked Rome. “Was the fix in for the lottery?” Responded Stern, “I have two answers for that. The simple easy one, no, the second, a statement, shame on you for asking.”

Stern could have stopped there, but he pressed the issue by asking Rome, “Have you stopped beating your wife yet?” And mouth-breathers everywhere, not knowing what a loaded question is, were like, “LOLWUT? Jim Rome beats his wife???” Of course he doesn’t, and once again the diabolical Oz hid behind the curtain.

So was Stern a little more behaved when Michael Wilbon asked a similar question during halftime of last night’s exciting Game 3 of the NBA Finals? Of course he was.

“It makes for good copy. It makes for good questions. And, you know, bring it on… But I think the people that know the NBA and know me don’t take our responsibilities lightly. We do it with responsibility and we do it with transparency.”

And then he goes on to explain that each team with a lottery ball has a representative in the room, there are 4 media members present, and the Ernst and Young guys are doing their thing, too. But what does that mean to the common fans who still wonder: A) Does the league fix the Draft Lottery for specific teams based on circumstances? And B) Are small market owners that play by Stern’s dark shadow rules rewarded for their loyalty? I think if a growing number of fans – and allegedly team executives – believe that your league is fixed because only the major market teams win championships or because teams that lose their stars miraculously get top draft picks, then you have an obligation to respectfully show them that it’s a stupid idea.

Stern doesn’t want to do that. Instead, he invites the conspiracies by mouth-farting, “Bring it on” because he’s a such a badass, you see, and then striking down guys like Rome for asking the question that we all want an answer to. But hey, at least Stern can take the time out to remove a few ribs and blow himself to remind us all how awesome his league is. And, damn it, we keep watching.

Read the rest of this entry »

"Haha, call the game balanced... that's fresh."

I made myself a promise before both NBA Conference Finals series began – do not get caught up in the officiating blame game. Right off the bat, with the Boston Celtics down 2-0 to the Miami Heat, I had a daunting task of getting through hundreds of Tweets and Facebook statuses during each game, as people blamed the officials for bad plays and terrible calls. My refuge was the incredible Western Conference Finals, of which I expected solid, entertaining basketball to define the series.

For the most part, that was true. But even last night, as the Oklahoma City Thunder procured the misery of Seattle sports fans with the Western Conference title, the refs couldn’t escape the blame, which is sad because this series was an instant classic. Most notably, it was that unlovable old curmudgeon Joey Crawford who once again set the gold standard. If you’re unfamiliar with Crawford, he is, more than likely, the worst official in all of sports.

That’s a bold claim, I know, because I watch baseball more than anything and Joe West is horrendous. But you can’t watch a single game that Crawford officiates without throwing your hands in the air and saying, “What the f*ck!” at least once. And if the NBA wanted to shed the stigma of being a rigged league with the dirtiest refs, David Stern would fire Crawford. It’s not like Stern hasn’t recognized how awful Crawford is in the past.

In the meantime, I want to celebrate the absolute worst thing about a sport that I love so much with this small sampling of his finest/most horrendous career moments. (Add your favorite omissions in the comments because God knows there are hundreds more.)

Read the rest of this entry »

The NBA Draft Lottery was held last night to determine which team commissioner David Stern was doing favors for this year possesses the No. 1 pick and the eventual rights to Anthony Davis, and to mild surprise the big winner was the New Orleans Hornets. Many people had assumed that Michael Jordan’s pathetic Charlotte Bobcats would win the top pick, but apparently they even suck at being the worst.

That’s why the above image is so amusing, as Davis apparently believed that he was destined for Charlotte with the Snapback hat. Fortunately, it’s a Charlotte Hornets hat so he didn’t waste $30.

But many are still crying foul that the team that the NBA still owns – until the new owner, Tom Benson, officially takes control in July – received this pick as compensation for the fact that Stern and Co. sent Chris Paul packing to Los Angeles. In fact, according to an online USA Today poll, A LOT of people think that Stern is a dirty, no-good cheater.

The idea that the man who is in charge of a billion dollar sports league would be so obvious in collusion and hold such contempt for the fans is one that people discuss with such incredible passion on both sides of the argument, so I wanted to make sure that I collected my thoughts properly in making my own argument as to whether or not Stern is capable of fixing the televised NBA Draft Lottery…

Read the rest of this entry »

Welcome to my day-late weekly predictions that will astound and amaze you, because they’re so incredibly tuned into to a psychic frequency that nobody else on this planet could come up with them. Since I started making predictions a few weeks ago, I’ve been right about everything. Even the stuff that might have been wrong was technically right, because I say it was. It’s not really hard being a psychic.

This week, we take a look into the crystal ball to see if David Stern really will stick to his guns and stop the L.A. Clippers from flopping, Matt Leinart can turn Carson Palmer into the perfect QB and if anyone would ever believe that Phil Jackson would even remotely entertain the idea of coaching a team as dysfunctional and broken as the Orlando Magic. SIM SIM SALABIM!

Read the rest of this entry »

On Sunday, the world seemed right again, as Metta World Peace turned back into the Ron Artest of old by laying a vicious elbow to the side of James Harden’s head. Artest said that the elbow was an accident – that he was just caught up in the moment after a big slam dunk – and he even Tweeted his oh-so-sincere regrets about the whole situation. Of course, his Tweets were probably borne from damage control, but hey – it’s the thought that counts.

For some reason, it took NBA commissioner David Stern two days to hand down a punishment for the elbow that had left Harden with a concussion, but Artest will miss the next seven games, including the Los Angeles Lakers’ final regular season action and the playoffs. If the Lakers are bounced from the playoffs before that suspension is up, it will carry over into next season. So yeah, Artest has learned his lesson. Again.

“I apologize to the Oklahoma City Thunder fans and the OKC organization,” World Peace wrote on ronartest.com. “I look foward (sic) to getting back on the floor with my teammates and competing for the Lakers fans.” (Via the Associated Press)

Responded Harden, “The strawberries touched the paper jam, pterodactyl Skittles surprise!” As for Stern, how did he and league officials come to their conclusion on this terrible incident, which marks Artest’s third major suspension? Just protecting the players, y’all.

“The concussion suffered by James Harden demonstrates the danger posed by violent acts of this kind, particularly when they are directed at the head area,” Stern said in a statement. “We remain committed to taking necessary measures to protect the safety of NBA players, including the imposition of appropriate penalties for players with a history of on-court altercations.”

Since Artest clearly has a problem that can only be contained for so long before he can’t control it anymore, here’s a fun suggestion – suspend him 7 games plus however many games Harden misses. Oh, and get the guy some serious, daily psychiatric help. And maybe wrap his arms in foam or bubble tape. And have animal trappers on hand to sedate him after big plays. Or, you know, just let him come back and do it all over again.

(Delightfully edited banner GIF via.)