ROFLMNBAO: The Long, Fashionable History Of Ridiculous Glasses In The NBA

Written by Ashley Burns / 06.11.12

With the table now set for the NBA Finals, as the Miami Heat will take on the Oklahoma City Thunder starting tomorrow night at 9 PM, I wanted to address a very important topic before we get all analytical on your asses. People have been talking and complaining about the rapidly-spreading fad of NBA players wearing “nerd glasses”, with the most notable attention directed at Dwyane Wade and LeBron James. For some reason, the fact that Wade even wore glasses without lenses has been something that should be talked about.

Fine. Let’s talk about it. Let’s talk about how this fad isn’t anything new. NBA players have always been notorious trendsetters, starting with their eyewear. It goes back to the very first days of the NBA, as star players like Joe Dribbleguy and Kevin Bouncepass were generating buzz with their own ridiculous glasses.

After the jump, I’ve put together a gallery of the NBA’s biggest legends all wearing their own unique eyewear, on and off the court. And if these players are guilty of anything, it’s wearing glasses that apparently don’t have arms. I mean, what’s up with that?

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Christina Hendricks And Olivia Munn Nude, But More Importantly Here’s Cat Gymnastics

Written by Brandon Stroud / 03.05.12

Don’t scroll down. DON’T SCROLL DOWN. [via OTB]

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christina-hendricks-nude-leaked-cellphoneChristina Hendricks And Olivia Munn Had Their Cellphones Hacked - … and while the faceless nude shots are pretty obviously not them, it’s fun to dream. AND it’s fun to find out Olivia Munn photoshops her cellphone pics with hokey sex taunts. [ONTD]

7 Ways Peyton Manning Should Spend His Last Weekend In Indianapolis - Number 8: nailing the hottest woman in Indianapolis, who I’m gonna guess is that one hostess at the Applebee’s. [Smoking Section]

6 Dumb Things Movies Do to Make Their Special Effects Less Effective - I guess I’m an old film softie, because “things being pretty” and “the camera moving” have never bothered me. Rubbery-ass Spider-Man, on the other hand … [Gamma Squad]

AMC Accidentally Reveals Major ‘Walking Dead’ Spoiler On Their Website - “Nothing’s going to happen this week” credit: AMC.com [Warming Glow]

Friday Free For All: Weird Al stars in ‘Weird Owl’ - I can’t wait until his first movie, Hoo-HF. [Film Drunk]

The Very Best Of GIFBomb Lady - This is pretty inspired, especially “What David Robinson thinks I do”. Are you still looking at that Christina Hendricks pic? [UPROXX]

Pulp Fiction Finally Gets Medieval On Our A$$es, Shakespeare Style - Pulp Fiction meets Downton Abbey in Downton Fiction! Sorry, that doesn’t exist, but it might tomrorow! [UPROXX]

20 Pampered Dogs In Baby Carriages - First comes dog love, then comes dog marriage. Then comes … well, this. [Buzzfeed]

Simpsons Christmas Cards From The Future - I wish we could go back and progressively age the Simpsons characters season by season so they wouldn’t have to turn into the thing we have now. [HuffPost Comedy]

David Hasselhoff takes the “Germans love me”-thing a bit too far - If Norm MacDonald isn’t involved, he hasn’t taken it far enough. [FARK]

Yoga for Babies is the Creepiest Exercise Video We’ve Ever Seen - YOGA IS NOT FOR BABIES. Bikram Yoga might be, though. [The FW]

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The Incredible History Of The Muppets, Sesame Street, And Our Favorite Athletes

Written by Ashley Burns / 11.24.11

[Ed. note - In celebration of this week's theatrical release of The Muppets, here's our thing about Muppets. If you haven't seen it yet, you're in for a treat.]

We’re still a few months away from the release of The Muppets, starring and written by Jason Segel, but my excitement couldn’t be higher. Hold on, I’m receiving a breaking news message… *squirrel in a hot air balloon drops a note tied to an acorn on the table* … it appears that The Muppets also stars Rashida Jones and Mila Kunis, so I may have an awesome heart attack soon. In the meantime, it’s Friday and now I’m all Muppety, so what the hell can I do to resolve this?

Thankfully, while looking for something completely unrelated yesterday, I stumbled across the Muppets Wiki site and started perusing the history of the happiest shows of my childhood – The Muppet Show and Sesame Street. Eventually I realized that a lot of athletes have been told how to get to, how to get to Sesame Street over the past 42 years, and it all started with Jackie Robinson in 1969. From there, children and adults who are still children at heart watched with glee as their favorite athletes stopped by to teach us about the alphabet, sharing, numbers, living in garbage cans, depression, being a giant bird, same sex partnerships with bottle cap enthusiasts, and building motor skills, among others.

After the jump, I’ve compiled an extensive history of athletes making appearances on Sesame Street and with the Muppets. If you don’t enjoy this or smile the whole way through, then I’m afraid we’ll never be friends. And that would make Big Bird very sad.

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Basketball Star Barry Sanders Says ‘Avoid Sex Or Perish’

Written by Brandon Stroud / 08.01.11

Something 1990s this way comes.

From Found Footage Fest emerges “It Ain’t Worth It!”, an abstinence-awareness PSA wherein the sports stars of the 90s explain the dangers of unprotected (and protected) sex in the most 90s way imaginable. You can watch the video below, but here’s a recap: David Robinson is playing a game of pick-up basketball and gets pissed off because his goofy white teammate is too busy looking at women (or “honeys”) to contribute. This prompts Robinson, A.C. Green and Barry Sanders (holding a basketball for some reason) to use rap music, a Trapper Keep aesthetic and what appear to be girls from “In Living Color’s” Fly Girl developmental league to inform teens that penis-to-vagina interaction can cause instant death and possibly explosions. I don’t know, they just really want me to not do it.

Watch the video yourself, then leave us a comment to explain whether you believe sexual intercourse is or is ain’t worth it.

All this video needed was a white kid who looks like he should be a part of the Burger King Kids Club saying “but I WANNA have sex!” and getting between a girl’s legs before he’s stopped by Garfield and one or more of the Ninja Turtles.

[prophylactic tip to Sportress of Blogitude]

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