Heisman Trophy winner and Jay Pharaoh character Robert Griffin III showed up on ‘Late Show With David Letterman’ to read the “Top Ten Thoughts That Went Through Robert Griffin III’s Mind When He Won The Heisman Trophy” and hit almost every necessary comedic note — Tim Tebow loving Jesus, the Indianapolis Colts being terrible, Kim Kardashian being a gold digging succubus who already has way too much of her own gold and so on.

You can check out video of the appearance below. I found it on YouTube so you didn’t have to watch it on the 100 x 40 CBS video player, so watch it quickly.

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Last night on “Late Show with David Letterman”, USA Women’s Soccer team stars Abby Wambach and Hope Solo stepped outside The Ed Sullivan Theater and took aim at the cabs on Broadway. Letterman got them to kick balls into moving cars after a the standard Letterman interview (“er uh I don’t really know anything about what you’re saying, so uh, eh heh heh got any gum” etc.) and a weird train of thought where Dave suggested losing to Japan in the World Cup was okay because Japan had been in Earthquakes.

The best part of the video is Letterman calling into question the kicking ability of the situationally-foxy Solo because she’s a goalkeeper. So of course Solo is the one with the most accurate kick. In a dress. After the stunt, Wambach stuck around to be Dave’s musical guest, delighting the audience with her hit song “All The Small Things”.

[h/t Buzzfeed]

Contained in this video:

1. The Dallas Mavericks on the “Late Show with David Letterman” reading a top-10 list about the best parts of winning an NBA Championship.

2. David Letterman with his head down, solemnly reading his script like he’d rather somewhere cleaning the chin grease out of Jay Leno’s 1922 LaFayette. (Also, Dave trying to remember names of basketball teams)

3. Dallas Mavericks players who speak English as a second language trying to deliver wordy punchlines from the writers of “Late Show with David Letterman”.

4. A funny appearance from Caron Butler, who is still my favorite Dallas Maverick because of how good I am with him in NBA Jam.

5. Mark Cuban’s impossibly straight upper row of teeth

Not contained in this video:

1. Any discussion about Jason Terry getting traded to Which Wich? for a large Pepperoni Pizzawich© and a bag of Lay’s potato chips. They could’ve at least included that pimply-faced kid who hands me a water cup and stands forlornly behind his tip jar. Since when did Nike make Which Wich basketball jerseys, and where can I order one?

2. Randy Orton running in at any point and RKO’ing Mark Cuban, which is the only time I’ve ever notably enjoyed Mark Cuban.

3. Conan O’Brien (just saying)

4. DeShawn Stevenson. “Wandering around drunk in an apartment complex while pondering funny new dick t-shirts” would’ve been a great number eleven.

Landon Donovan was a guest on the Late Show with David Letterman last night, and if you wanted to hear him talk about anything interesting, you were out of luck. Letterman decided not to address the rumors that Donovan impregnated an English woman. If the rumors are true, I’d be surprised. A soccer player’s penis can’t go very long without faking an injury.

The 28-year old Donovan, who is separated from but still married to actress Bianca Kajlich, star of the CBS sitcom “Rules of Engagement,” in response to a question by Sports Illustrated on Sunday did not deny the possibility of having fathered the child and promised to support the child if he proves to be the father.

Usually appearances by star athletes following major events are soft interviews, but Letterman had an opportunity to make some national news on Tuesday night by at least asking Donovan about the situation. –The Wrap

Letterman did have the chutzpah to ask Donovan’s opinion on the World Cup referees. Dave felt as if the officials were biased against the Americans, which I don’t feel is true. They suck equally for everyone. Read the rest of this entry »

After everyone made a big deal about all the grunting in Wimbledon, ladies’ singles champ Serena Williams went on Letterman to discuss the dynamics of the grunt. And it’s probably better that she did it here than on Conan, where she’d have to flash a fake driver’s license glamour shot and stay in character for the whole interview. I don’t know off-hand which character she’d be, but Monica Seles sounds pretty good. Hey, Serena. Let’s reenact Hamburg in 1993. Some of you might have to look that one up. Go ahead, I’ll wait.

Artie Lang was on Letterman earlier this week and recounted the time he and “the great Norm MacDonald” spent with Bob Uecker in spring training. Uecker’s 1920s speakeasy vocabulary was the source of great amusement to everyone, and Lange topped off his visit with the second-worst Harry Caray impression ever. It sounds like he’s doing an impression of Will Ferrell doing an impression of Harry Caray. I’m certain that The Great Norm MacDonald could have done so much better.

[Walkoff Walk]