GRRRRR DIAMOND EARRINGS!!!

The Colts and Jaguars produced a solid game for Thursday night football on the NFL Network, or at least that’s what I’ve been led to believe from the highlights and game recap since my cable provider doesn’t offer the NFL Network.  The Colts, led by a razor-sharp Peyton Manning and a few clutch defensive plays, notched their sixth come-from-behind win of the season, their seventh consecutive playoff berth, and their eighth straight victory overall with last night’s 31-24 triumph in Jacksonville.

The Jaguars, bolstered emotionally by the return of paralyzed tackle Richard Collier as an honorary captain, led throughout the game until the fourth quarter.  That’s when Manning’s efficiency — he completed his first 17 passes, and 29 of 34 for 364 yards and 3 TDs overall — finally caught up with the Jags and resulted in a 24-all tie.  From there, the deciding factors was the Colts D: a David Garrard pick-6 gave the Colts the lead; then, with the Jaguars threatening to tie the game, Dwight Freeney sacked Garrard to end the game.

I just realized I wrote two whole paragraphs that didn’t make fun of anyone and were more or less cohesive.  Gah.  What the hell’s wrong with me?  This is why I hate game recaps.  Can’t I just call Dallas Clark’s goatee a “prison pussy” and move on to the next story?

Here’s Jaguars quarterback David Garrard getting down at a wedding, courtesy the fine people at Brahsome.

Shit like this gets blown out of proportion all the time, because people try to connect photos of a player having fun with subpar on-field performance, which is always a ridiculous stretch unless the player is Matt Leinart.  Then the media tries to blame blogs for being evil and invasive (while taking advantage of the story in its own way), and all the joy gets sapped out of what we should be celebrating: a pro athlete letting loose, dancing and getting sweaty and shedding clothes at a wedding just like us regular folk do.

Although regular people don’t actually sweat like that.  My God.  He’s like a closeted Repulican in a Chelsea steam room.