Minnesota Vikings defensive lineman Jared Allen–he of the “partying with two Rs” set–is the proprietor of what might be one of the worst on-field celebrations in the history of sport. That little butter-churning move he does after every sack is actually a pantomime of a calf rustling, like you might see in a rodeo. Fortunately, due to a new interpretation of NFL rules, that will be the only place you’ll see it.

The league prohibits players from going to the ground in celebrations. After sacks, Allen takes a knee, pretends to rope a calf and then throws his arms in the air. Allen presumably can still perform his celebration as long as he’s standing on his feet.

Allen has performed his post-sack celebration for years so it’s curious the league is threatening punishment now. Asked about the new stance, a league spokesman wrote in an e-mail: “That is how the new head of officiating wants it enforced.” –Star-Trib.

Jared has one sack to his credit on the season, and it’s unclear whether he either avoided the routine after the fact, or performed some permutation of it. Either way, I consider it a positive to see this little dance get hog-tied. It looks like Nancy Kerrigan having a stroke and masturbating at the same time. No offense to those of you that are into that sort of thing.

I’m jealous of those of you who don’t know how to Dougie, because I really wish I didn’t. The Dougie is a popular new dance in rap culture, and it’s almost as stupid as the Stanky Legg. I say almost as stupid, because nothing will ever be as atupid as the Stanky Legg. And no, I haven’t been misspelling leg. Well, I have, but only because that’s how the guy who invented the dance spells it. I know, I’m ashamed to be alive, too.

Either way, the Dougie is the newest stupid dance to hit Youtube, and Glen ‘Big Baby’ Davis was kind enough to show the entire world how to Dougie. Video after the jump, but the language is NSFW. Read the rest of this entry »

Usually you only hear the “Electric Slide” when your fuddy-duddy parents have a rager with their fuddy-duddy friends and they’re all sipping on grasshoppers while doing the choreographed dance in that one room with all the furniture covered in plastic.  The other time might be in some backwoods bar in between raspberry kamikazes and the “Boot Scootin’ Boogie”, and everyone has to wait for JeriLynn to put down her baby so she can take her turn at the beer bong.

Luckily for the rest of us, LaDainian Tomlinson has updated this classic by bringing us “Electric Glide”.  Who knows what the hell this is for, because so far no one has really noted anything attached with it.  The folks over at FanIQ.com suggest it could be a Nike viral. All I know is it’s nothing short of 100% pure genius.

NOW HIT THAT HOLE!!–FanIQ.com via TheBigLead.com

The first thing I thought when I saw this was, “Hey, shouldn’t the bride be wearing a white jersey?” And then I thought, “Well, no. She should actually be wearing an entire wedding dress.” But I don’t know if this was just a reception thing or if they went through a whole wedding like this. And what’s up with that Ray Lewis dance? I wonder if he watched somebody stab his wife after the reception and then rode off in the limo by himself. That’s funny unless it’s exactly what happened. –Casey Carter, via Last Angry Fan.

After this Finnish league hockey game, goalie Matti Höylä decides to get a little bit of his freak on and recreate some of the choreography from Michael Jackson’s “Thriller.” It speaks volumes about the universal language of dance. But holy mother, look at all those empty seats. Where are the Finns playing these games, Yankee Stadium? – Puck Daddy, via Ramblings of the Unmotivated.

Mister Irrelevant tore the roof off this bitch by pulling out "da Heizman" YouTube video. I'm sure black people have been doing this for the last six years or so, but now that white people know about it and are doing it poorly, you can bet it's going to be wildly popular.

By the way, I'd pay, like, $100 to see Troy Smith do this… and everything I own to have video of Ty Detmer doing it.