The Washington Redskins were 5-11 last year. This comes as no surprise, because, give or take a field goal or two, the Redskins are always 5-11. In an attempt to turn things around, last week the team packaged a total of three first-round picks (and one second-rounder) to go after Baylor quarterback Robert Griffin III with the second overall pick in the draft. After trading away all those picks, however, the NFL slapped them down for “unfairly” front-loading contracts during the uncapped 2010 season, and lowered their cap figure by $36 million. So, in summary, in the past week, the Redskins have lost a substantial amount of both draft picks and money. A sensible owner would process this information and wade carefully into free agency, trying to maximize the limited resources he has left. The Redskins, on the other hand, have Dan Snyder, who promptly signed wide receivers Pierre Garcon and Josh Morgan.

Garcon’s deal is a blockbuster: five years for $42.5 million with $20.5 million guaranteed, including an $11 million signing bonus.

Morgan agreed to a contract worth $12 million over the first two years, with $7.5 million guaranteed. His full contract is for five years, but the final three can be voided. [ESPN]

When reached for comment about committing $28 million to two wide receivers in the face of his team’s financial and personnel limitations, Dan Snyder had this response:

Dan Snyder ain’t care.

As has been extensively documented, the 2010 NFL season was played without a salary cap because the owners chose to opt out of the collective bargaining agreement that was in place at the time. During this uncapped year, the Washington Redskins and Dallas Cowboys spent extra money frontloading contracts so the biggest hit would occur immediately, and not be spread out over the course of the contract (presumably when a new cap would be in place). Because this made a lot of sense, the NFL is punishing them for it by lowering the Cowboys’ cap number by $10 million, and the Redskins’ by $36 million.

“The Management Council Executive Committee determined that the contract practices of a small number of clubs during the 2010 league year created an unacceptable risk to future competitive balance, particularly in light of the relatively modest salary cap growth projected for the new agreement’s early years,” the league said in a statement Monday. “To remedy these effects and preserve competitive balance throughout the league, the parties to the CBA agreed to adjustments to team salary for the 2012 and 2013 seasons. [ESPN]

So, as far as I understand things, here is the recap: The owners opted out of the collective bargaining agreement knowing that the result would be at least one uncapped season (meaning both no maximum cap number AND no minimum cap number for the cheapskates), and then when two of the wealthier teams used the uncapped year to their advantage and threw a bunch of money at players, the other owners cried to Roger Goodell and he dropped an anvil on the rich guys’ heads. Did the Cowboys and Redskins take advantage of a weird situation? Sure. Was it 100% on the up and up? Eh. But stepping in later to punish someone for something that wasn’t against the rules at the time isn’t any better. And this is coming from an EAGLES FAN. Someone who LIVES FOR bad things happening to the Redskins and the Cowboys. I am DEFENDING Jerry Jones and Dan Snyder. Ugh.

I feel nauseous. Don’t make me do this again, NFL.

Washington Redskins owner David Brent

Update: Dan Snyder is maybe not the nicest and coolest guy to ever run a football team.

In his latest public relations masterstroke, the Redskins owner (who may as well be Mr. Potter from “It’s a Wonderful Life” at this point) has ordered The Washington Post to change the name of its “Redskins Insider” blog because they don’t have a contract or pay the organization to use the name.  The famous blog that covers the Redskins will be refferred to as “Football Insider,” at least until The Insider sues them and they end up as “Sport Blog.”

Yesterday, The Post’s Paul Farhi provided an explanation:  The Redskins, who have been at the forefront in creating their own multimedia operations, have been aggressive in policing the use and misuse of their “brand” by others.  How do you solve this problem?  By Googling “Wasington+Redskins+fans” and emasculating all four of the links that pop up.  This is especially tough news for Native Americans, who will now have to co-opt “honky” as their racial epithet of choice.

Ask fans of any sports team that has ever existed, and they will tell you invariably that their owner is crazy and the worst, and that they will never win a championship until said person is fired.  I’m as guilty of this as the next guy, but at least I can rest comfortably knowing Larry Dolan will never barge in on me in the middle of dinner and sue me for wearing an Indians hat without the expressed written consent of Major League Baseball.

NFL.com recently released this new commercial, and the theme appears to be people who are pissed that they received NFL merchandise as gifts. Like the guy in the beginning must be a New York Jets fan because he’s all like, “Damn girl, why’d you give me this Ronnie Brown jersey?” Or maybe he thinks that being overrated is contagious. Either way, featured in the commercial are Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder and Alyssa Milano. And while I think it would be funnier if Albert Haynesworth was returning his jersey to Snyder, I really only want to talk about Alyssa Milano.

Apparently banging professional athletes is the fountain of youth, because for 37 years old she looks F-ing good. And while I’d never be too enthused about getting sloppy seconds from something that Brad Penny rolled around on, I certainly wouldn’t kick her off my mom’s futon. She’s currently married to her agent, so she’s not actually banging any athletes at press time, but the girl needs a break, I guess. Also, she was in Double Dragon the movie. That makes her pretty awesome.

NFL.com commercial after the jump.

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Vinny Cerrato has left his post as vice president of football operations for the Washington Danielskins, and was replaced (rather quickly) by former Tampa Bay Buccaneers (two Cs, one N, two Es) GM Bruce Allen.

The timing of Cerrato’s decision to step down before the season is over suggests that owner Dan Snyder was fed up with internal strife and had his eye not only on a new hire for the position of executive vice president of football operations, but also a new head coach, perhaps Allen’s former colleague Jon Gruden. –WaPo.

Jon Gruden and his balls just signed a multi-year extension with ESPN, but the Redskins have two things working in their favor. A metric assload* of cash, and the total disregard for prudently spending it. Sounds like Jon Gruden will be the next head coach of some football players inside the Beltway. Poor Ron Jaworski must be getting FNG Syndrome at this point.

To say that Jim Zorn is the frontman for the underachievingest team in the NFL is like saying that the Great Wall of China is kinda big, or that women on reality shows kinda like attention. But after the Redskins dropped a game to the Detroit Lions–the first team in nearly two calendar years to do so–the calls for Zorn’s head have only grown louder. But I’d argue that Zorn isn’t going anywhere before the end of the season. Here’s why.

Moving his workload would be a pain in the ass. Noted NFL writer and self-appointed travel expert Peter King pointed out on Sunday Night Football that Zorn is performing three roles with that team: head coach, offensive coordinator, and quarterbacks coach. Replacing Zorn, King said, would involve two or three different people, people that would have to come from within the organization at this point.

Nobody wants to be Dan Snyder’s bitch. There’s a reason that Jim Zorn was “promoted” from offensive coordinator to head coach last winter–nobody else wanted the job. The league’s coaches have seen the way he handled Norv Turner and heard about how he treated Mike Nolan. It took a truckload of money to pull Joe Gibbs out of retirement, but that truck has sailed…if you will. Snyder won’t get any tangible jump on finding his next underling by pulling the rug out from under Zorn before the end of the year.

A regime change would almost certainly end the Jason Campbell Era in the District. The 2009 season will be Campbell’s fifth as a pro–with his third offensive coordinator. Scrapping Zorn’s system now would be counterproductive at the very least for Campbell, whose development has suffered from the revolving door in front of the Redskins’ coaching offices. A new coach would be better served, sadly, to bring in his own guy (a la Chiefs coach Todd Haley with Matt Cassel, or even Vikings coach Brad Childress bringing in Brett Favre). Such a move–for better or for worse–almost certainly sends Campbell to the junk heap. Probably for good.

Redskins fans don’t really care if their team sucks. The team has already sold out every game. Hell, they have so many fans that they’re suing the ones that aren’t fanatic enough. Fan response has nothing to do with how the team’s performing on the field, leaving Zorn free to mismanage his team through the next 14 weeks of the season, which will be, granted almost certainly his last in DC. also.