Warming Glow usually handles weekly recaps of Saturday Night Live right after it airs. As a site that updates Monday through Friday we don’t always get that timely Sunday morning bump, but SNL covered the Super Bowl Blackout and I’ll be damned if I don’t dedicate a post to Jay Pharoah’s Shannon Sharpe impression.

Here’s what the folks at WG (where I one day hope to lord over everyone with my ‘Arthur’ jokes and terrible pro wrestling recaps) had to say about the cold open:

Nice of the SNL makeup department to make Tim Robinson look like Bill Cowher’s thawed-out corpse. Anyway, the cold open started slowly before delivering some solid lines in the final two minutes. JB (the black JB, not the wannabe-black JB) admitting he’s never actually seen 2 Broke Girls was a nice touch, and making Jay Pharoah’s Shannon Sharpe reveal, “Ray Lewis knows who killed those people, because it was him!” was what was missing from last episode’s Weekend Update Ray-Ray appearance. Not a great opener, but not bad, either.

If you missed it, video is below. I guess they couldn’t find a realistic Dan Marino wig.

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Dan is right: when you’re a multimillionaire, turning 50 is no big d! Make time for yourself!

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Donovan McNabb is probably never going to play in the NFL again, unless he’s willing to take a job as a backup. Even then, he’ll probably still complain about being a backup and demand that he be allowed to compete for the starting job. At least that’s what I assume is the thought process of any GM looking for a competent veteran, because otherwise he’d be a Miami Dolphin.

It seems that McNabb may have accepted this idea now as well, because he’s already taking the next step in his career – promoting himself for the NFL Hall of Fame. According to McNabb, he’s as good as in.

“What happens a lot of times is we look at what the list says, so we talk about the five NFC Championship Games, the six Pro Bowls and then we come to the end, ‘Well, he never won the big game,’ ” McNabb told Mark Kriegel of FoxSports.com, via the Philadelphia Daily News. “Well, Peyton never won the big game until he won the Super Bowl. Dan Marino never won the big game. Does that mean his career is a failure? No, not at all.” (Via NFL.com)

That’s right, the big game is the Super Bowl, and Peyton Manning never won the big game until he won the big game. Aside from the fact that Manning and Marino are two of the most proficient passers in NFL history, that’s incredible logic right there. But let’s go ahead and destroy that logic for the sake of building a self-beneficial argument.

“First of all is his numbers. How many times has he led his team to the big game?” McNabb said. “The big game still is the NFC Championship Game, the game to lead you there, and most importantly of all, did he make the players around him better? In his time, in his era, was he a top-five, top-10 quarterback in the league?”

Okay, that’s more convenient, making the NFC Championship Game the “big game”. The Super Bowl is just the Pro Bowl play-in game at this point, so what matters is the conference championship. That must be why Jim Kelly is in the Hall of Fame. He sucked at winning Super Bowls, but they don’t matter. He was, however, awesome at winning the AFC Championship, and that’s the “big game”. But if that is the argument, it’s pretty weak, because McNabb was 1-4 in his big games.

I want to be fair, though. First, since McNabb invoked Manning and Marino as examples, let’s compare this trio.

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The Florida house of current NFL analyst and former Miami Dolphins quarterback Dan Marino (not pictured) just went off the market. And thanks to the tumultuous real estate market of late, the Hall-of-Famer’s old digs were acquired for quite a bargain.

Florio J. and Glenda Abbate paid $7.2 million for the 10-bedroom, 12-bath lakefront home last month, Broward County property records show. Florio Abbate is the former president of Saxon Business Systems in Miami Lakes.

Marino, who had the home built, paid $2.15 million in 1995, records show, though that doesn’t include the cost of upgrades or additions since the purchase.

–Sun-Sentinel.

Marino and his wife were originally asking for $15.9 million [last item], but then threw in all of the furniture and a signed football before lowering the price to 13-something. Can we finally blame the mortgage crisis on Dan Marino’s autographed footballs? It’s the only way we can start healing as a nation.

Images of the home worth more than your life await you after the jump.

Football writer Scott Kacsmar took a look at the concept of what actually constitutes a “comeback” in NFL terms and found that, since comebacks are not kept as an official NFL stat, the PR departments of certain teams were free to make up any definition they pleased. But when Kacsmar ran the numbers on his own, he found out who the true Captain Comeback was. And it wasn’t John Elway. That’s redundant since you obviously read the headline, but anyway:

Once Kacsmar standardized the definitions and corrected some media guide oversights, he discovered that Elway had 34 true comebacks. Marino had 36. If you prefer to count the game-winning drives that started with fourth-quarter ties, then Marino still has a 51-49 edge. Any way you slice it, Marino is the real “comeback” king.

Elway may not even be second. Johnny Unitas was credited with 31 comebacks by Colts media guides, but they only counted regular-season comebacks, while Elway and Marino both got credit for playoff games. via.

Johnny Unitas also rocked a flattop haircut that was so badass that it’s still being duplicated today. Granted, the only place that’s happening is at WNBA games, but it’s still a sports staple nonetheless. It’s a haircut AND it’s a place to set your drink. Just make sure you use a coaster.

Whoa, settle down, big fella. Looks like somebody's wife made the Brady : Montana :: Manning : Marino comparison again.