Late last week, USA Today reported that the Dallas Cowboys would be opening a Cowboys-themed Victoria’s Secret at Cowboys Stadium. They didn’t explicitly say that it was to balance out Cowboys.com being lost at auction and turned into a gay country-and-western dating site, but we all know what’s going on here.

My experience at Cowboys Stadium has been limited to “pay 60 dollars to park at the Ballpark In Arlington and wedge myself into a monolithic spaceship full of drunk people who are expecting to be upset,” so being able to see sports-themed underpants as I wander by looking for a kiosk that sells fruit without beef juice injected into it will be a nice change of pace.

The Cowboys will have a ceremonial ribbon-cutting event that will take place a few hours before Monday’s kickoff.

And of course the benefit of an underwear store event: models.

Victoria’s Secret models Elsa Hosk and Jessica Hart will be in attendance, along with Jones’ daughter, the Cowboys’ executive VP for brand management.

That happened, and now thanks to contributions from the (cough) official Dallas Cowboys website and Fox Sports Southwest, we can take a look at them. It. The store. Whatever.

Please enjoy the photos. Oh, and if anybody from the Houston Texas is reading this, shoot me an e-mail. I’ve got a great idea for a Matt Schaub-themed Bath & Body Works.

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The Dallas Cowboys have mastered The Internet, but not in the way they’d intended.

Back in 2007, the Dallas Cowboys placed a winning bid on the Cowboys.com domain name, but never actually handed over the 275K they’d bid “due to an internal miscommunication”. Given the timeframe I’m gonna guess the internal miscommunication was “somebody saw a GoDaddy commercial and thought they should look into it, because dancing ladies”, but that’s unconfirmed. The report, from Domain Name News by way of Shutdown Corner:

The domain name brought in a $275,000 bid from a phone-in bidder at the recent TRAFFIC domain live auction in Hollywood, Florida. The bidder had been earlier identified to be a representative from the Dallas Cowboys NFL team. An inside source confirmed with DomainNameNews that the deal began to fall apart over a misunderstanding with the bidder on what the bid of “275″ actually meant. It appears the bidder thought they were buying the domain for $275.00 rather than $275,000.

Cowboys.com remained dormant for years, but now in the most Internet thing of all time, the site is operational … and it’s a cowboy-themed gay dating site. No, seriously, look:

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Come on, look at him. You don’t want to be like him, do you?

That’s what you’ll look like if you forget to sign up for our TOTALLY FREE Week 1 NFL Fantasy Football game with FanDuel.com. All you have to do is click that link (or this one), sign up and draft a team of players from Sunday and Monday night’s games. The teams with the best performance win money from a $1000 cash pool, and that’s a crazy profit for like two minutes of work for one of your ten fingers.

Here’s how it works:

Again, the game happens this Sunday, September 9 and includes the Monday Night Football game, so don’t try to draft anyone from the Cowboys/Giants game. Payouts start up immediately after MNF, and hell, I’ve been reminding you twice a week for the last three weeks, so just sign up already and let me stop badgering you about it. Be sure to let us know how you do if you place.

In case you’re wondering, I look exactly like Eli up there after every fantasy football game.

Now that the NFL and NCAA football are back in action (BACKTION!) we understand that sports can get a little confusing, so we’re bringing back this old running feature in which we help you decide what to watch each night. This way, you won’t miss anything important, whether it be an incredibly tight and exciting American League East race or an incredibly tight and exciting Oregon Ducks cheerleader.

Dallas Cowboys at New York Giants – 8:30 PM ET on NBC

The NFL comes to us one night earlier than usual – thanks, Obama – as one of the league’s fiercest rivalries takes the main stage. Can Eli Manning and the defending Super Bowl Champion Giants keep momentum in their favor with a win over Tony Romo and the Cowboys’ banged up receivers? Probably. But you can discuss the game in style with our cooler cousin Christmas Ape over at the KSK Live Blog, which is undergoing a sexy makeover this season.

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Football season starts tomorrow (!!) so this is one of your last chances to sign up for our totally free, one-night fantasy football game with FanDuel.com. If you were around last week (and you should’ve been, this site is more than Kate Upton slideshows and Raw reports, you jerks) you were privy to our insider fantasy football guide, put together by supplementary sports expert Ashley Burns with helpful … uh, Kate Upton photos. All you have to do to win money from FanDuel’s $1000 cash pool is peruse these posts, sign up for free and wait for the money to roll in.

- 2012 With Leather Fantasy Football Draft Guide: Knowing Your Quarterbacks
- 2012 With Leather Fantasy Football Draft Guide: Selecting Your Running Backs
- 2012 With Leather Fantasy Football Draft Guide: Receivers And Tight Ends

If you’ve never played our game before, here’s a rundown of how it works:

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“Rapping Jerry Jones” in all caps was almost this entire post.

In the world of sports on the Internet, Jimmy Traina giveth, and Jimmy Traina taketh away. Sometimes he’ll tweet, “hey, I stumbled into Kate Upton’s dressing room and took 30,000 pictures, check this out” and links them because he’s him and she’ll be flattered or whatever. Then sometimes he tweets, “here’s Jerry Jones rapping”, and the exact opposite of that Kate dressing room dream happens.

But yeah, here’s Jerry Jones rapping. Apparently somebody at Papa John’s decided the way to get me to order their garbage pizza was to have a sexagenarian in the Buffalo Stance. It’s worth watching just to say you’ve seen it (and I’m shocked I haven’t seen it on TV down here yet), but it’s also worth watching for that two second clip of Jones remix jumping or whatever like he’s in a f**king 90s toy commercial.

Check it out below.

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