"It's okay, Tony, your terrible football will be back soon."

Remember Chris Rock’s old joke about guys turning into Batman when it’s time to watch porn, then getting caught because they left the tape in the VCR? The Twitter equivalent of porn in the VCR is “forgetting to log out of your business account before you say something stupid.”

Something stupid:

In one wanking-motion-worthy tweet, the Dallas Cowboys — nay, the Dallas Cowboys organization — threw shade at Major League Baseball AND the NHL. You know, because football is in direct competition with baseball and hockey and we can only like one team in one sport. One team in one spot that is not currently still playing football because they wouldn’t stop f**king up.

The tweet was quickly deleted, and most who saw it could chalk it up to an intern somewhere accidentally hitting “tweet” instead of “cancel.” Everybody makes stupid tweets, right? No harm, no foul. In fact, here’s what Cowboys digital media director Derek Eagleton had to say about it on his personal twitter account, shortly after the @dallascowboys deletion:

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Meet Dexter, a dog who loves the Washington Redskins so much that he will refuse dog treats if they are from the Dallas Cowboys. That’s … uh, that’s the clip. Somebody trained their dog to refuse food if it comes from a rival football team. Which it doesn’t. But he’s named after Dexter Manley and he’s got a dog brain, so what are you going to do

My favorite part of the clip is actually the YouTube description, which is written by exactly the kind of person who’d do this with their dog:

Happy Thanksgiving! Dexter hopes the Cowboys wind up as turkeys!!!

I wonder what he thinks of Philadelphia Eagles dog treats? Michael Vick’s got an entire box of them on his kitchen table.

[h/t to Bob's Blitz]

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, which means it’ll be a light day at With Leather. Burnsy will be enjoying a turkey dinner with all the trimmings, and I’ll be driving an hour south to San Antonio to eat mashed potatoes, green bean casserole and something called “glazed wham”. We’re very different people, but we love you the same.

If you’re like a lot of Americans, Thanksgiving means football. At UPROXX, Kissing Suzy Kolber means football, so here’s my best contribution to the vibe: a clip of Jimmy Junior, Wild Turkey Bourbon spoketurkey, choosing Thursday’s NFL match-ups. He picks the Houston/Detroit, Dallas/Washington and New England/New York games by eating feed out of a particular helmet, and hey, it’s not rocket science, but it’s as statistically valid as anything you’re gonna read at Bleacher Report.

Check out Jimmy’s picks below. “That turkey belongs on my plate” jokes not appreciated. Well, by half of us.

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As the editor-in-chief of a popular sports comedy blog, I get two kinds of e-mails: the ones from people who have no idea who I am, but want a link anyway (sample: “HI JOSH, Spring is around the corner, here are the 50 greatest boobtacular moments in sports”), and the ones from porn tubes who just learned something about sports and think I should know about it.

In the interest of passing my experience on to you, here’s a press release I just received from Pornhub, the visionary geniuses behind such clips as Hot Ass Naomi Russel in Fishnet Sexy F**king. They recently held a survey to see which NFL cheerleading squad fans most enjoyed seeing, and the results were … predictable. But hey, until that Chad Johnson sex tape deal goes through, Pornhub’s gotta do what Pornhub’s gotta do*.

*I probably do not need to see what Pornhub’s gotta do.

Pornhub.com, the premier online destination for adult entertainment, took to one of their world famous surveys to find out which is the most gorgeous squad on the gridiron – the results are as follows:

- Dallas Cowboys (54%, 1,274 votes)

- Houston Texans (13%, 315 votes)

- New England Patriots (13%, 295 votes)

- New York Jets (8%, 189 votes)

- Detroit Lions (6%, 135 votes)

- Washington Redskins (6%, 134 votes)

There you have it! The Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders officially mounted the competition to snatch a tip-top spot in the mound.

I get it!

To test this theory, I’ve put together an impromptu slideshow of Dallas Cowboys cheerleader highlight videos and pictures of note. I don’t know how many I’m going to include, but I’ll probably keep adding and adding until HomeMoviesTube.com e-mails me their update about which European field hockey team is the most cuckold. Here are your 2012 season highlights so far, from Thanksgiving all the way back to the swimsuits.

Not included: those poor, poor guys jacking it to Lions games.

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Here’s a behind the scenes look at the 2013 Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders calendar. Nothing gets me ready for planning the new year like a bunch of ladies leading nobody in cheers on a beach for no reason! Yeahhh! (via Terez Owens)

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Links

Colbert To Trump: I’ll Give You $1 Million If You Let Me Dip My Balls In Your Mouth |UPROXX|

Five Reasons Video Games Should Have Better Economies |Gamma Squad|

If It Ain’t Broke: Borderlands 2 Review |Smoking Section|

Arnold Schwarzenegger is going to play Conan the Barbarian again |Film Drunk|

Music Video Breakdown: ‘The Baddest Man Alive,’ by The Black Keys And RZA |Warming Glow|

Eliza Coupe Of ‘Happy Endings’ Has An Impressive, Double Entendre-Filled Instagram |UPROXX|

Hold On A Minute, Playa! This Video Will Now Be About The Teddy Long Tag Team Match! |With Leather|

“Yippee Ki-Yay Mother Russia.” Yes, that’s the real Die Hard tagline. |Film Drunk|

Cat Portrays Nine Lives Of Anime Characters |Gamma Squad|

Meme Watch: Everybody Loves Pablo Sandoval |With Leather|

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If you missed out on yesterday’s announcement, With Leather is doing another week of FanDuel Fantasy Football, giving 555 teams the chance to win $1,000 in prizes. The sign-up this time is only two bucks, and you get up to three teams. You can edit them and rearrange them until Sunday’s kickoff, and then it’s in God’s hands. And by “God” I mean Tebow.

Here’s how we do it.

The game should fill up quick, so I’d recommend signing up using this handy-dandy link as soon as possible to draft your squads and guarantee yourself a spot. I finished 44th in the last game we did and still won money. That’s pretty efficient, right? Imagine how much you can earn if you’re GOOD at this.

Sign up now, friend!