Normally when I read something that starts off with “Stopped into a Pittsburgh-area Dairy Queen yesterday” it’s followed by a half-assed excuse for getting a handy from a fat chick in a Penguins jersey. But this time it’s because Dan Hopper, the Senior Editor at Best Week Ever, took a couple snap shots of some cakes that he found at a Dairy Queen while he was in Pittsburgh. It seems that parents in the Steel City can celebrate their kids’ birthdays by giving them a Ben Roethlisberger cake. Not to be outdone, Carvel has released its own Rapey the Raspberry Rhino ice cream cake.
But as much fun as a cake that’s main ingredients presumably include two giant nuts and an imposing banana can be, the real Big Ben news today revolves around the Steelers QB’s admission in an interview yesterday that he contemplated quitting the NFL in the midst of his sexual misconduct allegations. Adding, “Because everyone knows the UFL is totally cool with a bathroom bonejob.”
Pack me a pint full of rum raisin, Fox Sports, and if it doesn’t fit, force it in there: