JAY CUTLER MUST BE ONE SAD PANDA

Written by JOSH Z / 03.11.09

We haven’t said much about this feud between new Broncos coach Josh McDaniels and his quarterback, noted diabetic and Grumpy Gus Jay Cutler. Basically McDaniels stood by while the Broncos front office tried to shop Cutler on the free agent market, and when Jay found out, he went to his room and he hasn’t come out since. So ESPN is reporting that there was a conference call on Monday to try and patch things up. How did that go?

A Broncos source with knowledge of the discussions said that two sides did not grow further apart in Monday’s conference call and that issues were discussed openly and it was re-emphasized to Cutler he will not be traded.

The first source said McDaniels wouldn’t confirm or deny whether the Broncos initiated the trade talks. The Broncos did, though, tell Cutler that every player on the team could be traded and he could be traded at any time. Still, Denver owner Pat Bowlen also stated in the conversation that Cutler will not be traded. The Broncos publicly said Cutler will not be traded last week as the Cutler trade frenzy was in full force.

So how does Cutler feel now? He…wants to be traded, or given some kind of long-term commitment from the Broncos. What kind of commitment, like a promise ring? Or just give him the old, “Nothing’s wrong, baby” and wait until he leaves town and then sleep with his best friend. This is why you never move in with a girl until you’re 50. Especially if she’s a quarterback.

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PETER KING WAS NOT THE ONLY ONE WEEPING

Written by Matt / 03.06.08

Brett Favre officially announced his retirement today, and he cried like such a little bitch that you would have thought that he'd been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and given six weeks to live. Marion Jones was a bigger man than Brett when she retired. This whole ordeal is just disgusting. 

“I know I can play but I don’t think I want to,” a teary Favre said in a news conference at Lambeau Field two days after he announced his retirement. “It’s been a great career for me, but it’s over.” “As they say, all good things must come to an end. I look forward to whatever the future may hold for me.”

Maybe now Brett can actually spend time with his wife who, you know, actually had cancer. She'll probably keep him running errands, helping around the house, and watching the kids. Wipe up those crybaby troll tears, Brett. That garbage isn't taking itself to the curb.

– Monday Morning Punter

[Yahoooooooo! Sports] 

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