Remember the young “Good Samaritan” Arizona Diamondbacks fan who selflessly gave a ball to a crying little boy who’d dropped it? Well, that kid has taken the next step toward officially becoming Quiz Kid Donnie Smith by appearing on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” alongside the whimpering little reprobate to continue receiving prizes and accolades for a common act of human decency that just so happened to be caught on camera. The boys (who sound like Harry Potter characters: Ian McMillan and Nicholas Goodfellow) got some We Say The Darnedest Things laughs from the studio audience and were given not only season tickets to the remaining Diamondbacks games, but Jimmy Kimmel “baseball hall of fame” plaques denoting them as “Kid Who Gave A Ball To Another Kid” and “Kid Who Was Given A Ball By Another Kid”.

Check out the video below, with a tip of the autographed bat to Big League Stew.

I’ve got to ask, if the Good Samaritan kid is the one who made the grand gesture, why does the crying kid keep getting applauded, too? Good Samaritan gets an autographed bat, crying kid gets a bat. Good Samaritan kid gets to be on TV and get gifts because he did something cool, so the crying kid gets to come along and get lumped in. People (including Kimmel) tell Ian how happy they are that good things are happening to him, but barely-conscious crybaby Nicholas is getting all those good things, PLUS he’s got a Rickie Weeks ball from that Diamondbacks game. Just watch them, Ian is smiling, Nicholas doesn’t give a sh**. Doesn’t seem fair.

I guess Ian’s big reward when all this is said and done is not having his 15 minutes of fame be “I was a little bitch once and got presents”.

NBA referees are mad as hell and they’re not going to take it anymore, and it has nothing to do with them being the worst at their jobs of any professional sports officials, but rather their frustrations with the leagues refusal to negotiate. The NBA Referees Association, according to Yahoo!, has filed charges with the National Labor Relations Board, on the grounds that league leaders refuse to negotiate on issues like race, sex, and weight, among others.

And you just know that David Stern is handling this like a mature adult.

The memo and filing to the National Labor Relations Board also includes details of an alleged “obscene expression” by commissioner David Stern directed at union negotiators in a Jan. 24 meeting, referee sources said.

According to the memo, Stern – referred to as “one of the league’s negotiators” – got angry when the union attorneys sought to include what the union called “standard language found in many collective bargaining agreements” on discrimination.

“One of the league’s negotiators reacted to it with hostility and resorted to the use of an obscene expression in describing its effect,” the memo said. “When the NRBA representatives declined his demand to delete the obscene expression from their notes, this negotiator abruptly left the room.”

I want to know what the obscene gesture was. It could have been a throat slash, maybe a dismissive wank. Did he go with old faithful and give the room the double bird? Did he bend one of his underlings over a chair and pantomime sodomy? Or did he just go for the grand slam with the air machine gun hip thrust with one leg on a chair? I only hope that our government doesn’t close down tomorrow so that Congress can get involved.