Foul balls — people who want them, and the fatter, meaner people who end up taking them — have become an important topic of discussion at With Leather. The latest talking point comes to us from the Tampa Bay Rays/Oakland Athletics game at Tropicana Field on Saturday night, and features a “best of” selection of foul ball atrocities: grown men fighting, ejections, children left desperately yearning and a security guard making tough calls like he’s an actual law enforcement agent.

The Rays TV broadcast team of Dewayne Staats, Brian Anderson, and Todd Kalas tell the story, by way of Sports Grid:

I think that’s the best solution I’ve ever seen to grown men battling each other in a trash can. Just leave the ball in the trash and don’t let anybody get it. It gets better when you watch the video and see the people sitting around telling their best AW MAN HERE’S WHAT I SHOULDA SAID TO HIM versions of the story while the Rays just flounder (fish reference) and get shut out. I was hoping some a-hole would try to outsmart the security guy by picking up the entire trash can and walking away with it.

Lesson learned, again: Foul balls are not important enough for you to be acting like this.

When the Miami Dolphins and Denver Broncos failed to reach an agreement on a trade for Kyle Orton, two things happened: 1) Chad Henne fell ass backwards into another year as the de facto starter for Miami, and B) Tim Tebow possibly lost his job as the starter in Denver. Thankfully, both professional athletes have responded to their respective situations like men. And I’m just kidding, because they’re both big babies.

Some fans at a recent Dolphins practice began chanting, “We want Orton” when Henne took the field, and the guy who is allergic to throwing to Brandon Marshall didn’t like that very much.

“Deep down inside, it does hurt,” Henne said of the “We want Orton!” chants. “Obviously you want the respect of the fans and you want them to have your back. If you’re a Miami Dolphins fan, hopefully you’re cheering for the Miami Dolphins and the players out there, not somebody that’s not here.” (CBS Sports)

First of all, take my word as a Miami Dolphins fan – we suck. We’re complete dicks, and we bitch and piss and moan about everything. We learned it from New York Jets fans. But as far as it hurting? Man up, Sally. You think the fans are going to lay off because you say it hurts? Maybe try this new thing called getting better. It starts with confidence and it ends with victories, something Miami fans are growing tired of not having.

As for Tebow, we already know what Merril Hoge thinks, and he’s probably not alone, but Broncos fans don’t want to hear that because they’ve been drinking the same Kool-Aid that Gainesville has been brewing for the past 6 years. The fact remains that Orton is a proven starter, and the job is probably his when Week 1 begins. So did Tebow tip his cap to the veteran in front of him and vow to learn from him and earn his starting role like all good QBs do? No. He bitched about it.

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Last week, we covered the bratty San Francisco Giants fan who was showered with riches for being a brat and several similar instances of grown-ups acting like babies and jerks and getting away with it. That trend continues today with one of the most hilarious and disappointing examples of baseball fans having the maturity and self-control of Angelica Pickles. Watch as “Brian chases Pete Rose to get an autograph for the first time”.

The YouTube description:

After my success of trying and getting Bryce Harper to sign my (previously signed) Mickey Mantle baseball, I traveled to Cooperstown, NY to try and meet the elite ball players, The Hall of Famers. In travels, I stopped at a local restaurant and was actually seated close to Pete Rose’s table. I was definately surprised to see that THE PETE ROSE was in Cooperstown (Since he is not a Hall of Famer). I politely approached him after he was finished eating and as he exited the restaurant. Here is my documentation of the event.

And here’s what actually happened — Brian approached Pete Rose for an autograph and appeared to be politely turned down … so he turned around and stomped off, but not before ANGRILY THROWING HIS BASEBALL INTO THE WOODS. The ball with Bryce Harper’s autograph?

The worst part of this is that Brian (or someone who likes Brian) decided to upload this to YouTube because you need validation that a celebrity is an asshole when they don’t do exactly what you want. Sorry, guy, but watching you huff and puff and destroy your own toys makes me want to see Pete turn around and plow through you like you were Ray Fosse. I understand how disappointing it can be. I waited for two hours in the cold after a Jenny Lewis concert to try and meet her, and all she did was walk by and dismiss me. It sucked, but at no point did I stomp my copy of Acid Tongue and throw it at her bus. Because I’m a nerd, but I’m an adult nerd. Big difference.

What Brian should’ve done was tell Pete he would have to live with the consequence of the act.

[h/t Off the Bench]

When we last talked on Friday, we were discussing the intricacies of foul ball etiquette, juxtaposed with infant mentality in adult sports fans and subsequent child entitlement. Or we were talking about dicks who steal foul balls from kids, but that first one sounds fancier. Either way, it all started with the story of 12-year old Arizona Diamondbacks fan Ian McMillan, who was praised for his selflessness and generosity after he gave a ball tossed into the stands by Rickie Weeks to a kid who cried his eyes out after he dropped it.

As we discussed, McMillan appeared to have been urged by a stadium attendant to give the ball to the other kid, but it’s old news now, because the D-Backs don’t care. They think McMillan is pretty cool, and they rightfully rewarded the hell out of him. Before Friday night’s game against the Colorado Rockies, McMillan was presented his very own team jersey by manager Kirk Gibson in a special press conference. Then he even got to throw out the first pitch. Meanwhile, that other kid probably cried.

McMillan’s thoughts and awesomeness after the jump.

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"Ass like an onion, right?"

The two Vancouver Canucks fans lovingly known as the Green Men claim that they received a warning from Canucks officials before Saturday’s game to curb their behavior that they’ve become somewhat famous for. Basically, they dance around in the green body suits made famous by Charlie Day and they heckle opposing players in the penalty box. Apparently the Predators have grown tired of this.

“Someone through the NHL told us that we were no longer allowed to touch the glass,” said one of the two lads who go by the handles Force and Sully.

“This is the first complaint we’ve ever heard of. The Canucks love us. We haven’t done anything wrong. We pay full price, and we have a little fun while supporting our team.” (Via Toronto Sun)

However, Predators officials deny making any complaint about the Green Men, and we have to believe them, because if there’s one thing that a team does after complaining about something insignificant like annoying fans, it’s own up to it. Yesiree, there’s not a team out there that doesn’t care about people labeling its executives and players as whiny little sissy girls. Good thing fans don’t react to or lash out at these types of complaints at all.

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Who wins in a matchup between a whiny baby and a whiny tennis player? The answer isn’t “America.” Actually, that’s not entirely true. Spaniard David Ferrer complained about hearing the cries of a baby in the stands during his quarterfinal match against Marty Fish, who happens to be American.

Trailing in his match and annoyed by the crying, Ferrer directed a forehand lob toward the infant after losing his serve midway through the second set Wednesday.

The ball didn’t come close to the youngster when it landed in the stands, but the crying stopped.

“It was in one moment of the match, but nothing special,” Ferrer said. “It was not the problem.”

Instead, the Spaniard blamed a case of indigestion. He lost to American Mardy Fish, 7-5, 6-2.

–HuffPo.

I’m not of fan of tennis players and all that silence that they seem to require before hitting a ball with a gigantic racket, but who brings an infant to a tennis match? Honestly. Get a babysitter or watch the match at home. Or, as I like to do after getting my Uproxx check in the mail, both.