An unsportsmanlike conduct call turned into for-real unsportsmanlike conduct during a game between the West Park Saints and Miramar Patriots in West Park, FL, on Saturday. I’ll let the US News set the stage:

After he threw the flag, [official Andrew] Keigans turned around an bumped one of the players and moved the player to the side to talk to one of the other referees, the report said.

The assistant coach, who disagreed with the penalty, barged the field and confronted Keigans as he was held back by head coach Antonio Lane, the report said.

Because the assistant coach left the sidelines and entered the field of play to confront Keigans, the head referee decided to end the game, the report said.

If you read that blockquote or looked at the picture at the top of the post (or skimmed and watched the video before you read this), you might’ve stood up in your computer chair, pointed at your screen and shouted “RACE THING!” This is normal.

It’s what most of the Internet is doing. One side points out that there were four refs, three black and one white, and the black assistant coach went sprinting-and-slapping at the lone white guy. One side points out that while prejudiced people attribute this to “typical savage behavior” (their words, not mine), there is a country full of white people (Canada) who go nuts and have bloody riots at pee-wee hockey games every day. Others still point out the arrival of RICK RO$$ as a peacekeeper in the clip, because that is hilarious.

The truth is that this fight is not about race. It’s about how stupid you are for letting a convicted felon coach your little league team. Turns out the guy doing the assaulting isn’t someone racist folks assume is a criminal, he’s an actual criminal. Whoops!

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If you didn’t think this would exist, welcome to the Internet. Somebody’s already doing a “Sh*t Hitler Says About Watching The Jeremy Lin Nyan Cat”. (via OTB)

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Shawn Kemp Isn’t Exactly Thrilled With The Blake Griffin Comparisons - I love that Shawn Kemp JUST found out that the only thing he was good at was dunks. [Smoking Section]

The 10 Strangest Addictions From ‘My Strange Addiction’ - Does “doing something dumb to get on television because there’s a show that exaggerates mental illnesses” count as a strange addiction? [Warming Glow]

So, The New Trailer For ‘The Avengers’ Is Kind Of Awesome - I hope Captain America has a line that more or less says, “why does the 2012 version of my costume look so much worse than the one I wore in the 40s?” [Gamma Squad]

Many Of Your Favorite Celebrities Have Been ‘Cholafied’ - Pretty sure that Rihanna Chola is gonna show up in Guillermo Del Toro’s next horror-fantasy. [UPROXX]

Meth Addict Accidentally Burns Down ‘A Tree Older Than Jesus’ - I hope this is immediately followed by a scene where Bryan Cranston is dressed like a priest and yelling at him over the phone about how he’s worthless and stupid. [UPROXX]

VIDEO: Prometheus’s Peter Weyland addresses the 2023 TED Conference - If this movie doesn’t end with Catwoman kicking him in the nuts, I’m demanding my money back. [Film Drunk]

Kids Do The Darndest Speed Drills - When I was five I would’ve played a video game about anything. I would’ve played a Mario game where he can’t die and it’s nothing but history facts. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

11 Things Megan Fox Didn’t Know About David Silver When She First Met Brian Austin Green - 1 Thing Megan Fox Didn’t Know About Donna Martin: she graduates. [Buzzfeed]

Ken Marino’s AMAZING Macy Gray Impression - I love this impression so much I want to dip my balls in it. [HuffPost Comedy]

Criminal Busted for Using Fake ID with Jack Nicholson’s Photo - I knew I should’ve bought that Lindsay Lohan drivers license from the Hollywood gift shop where her photo is a promo still from Mean Girls and her height is MOVIE STAR. [The FW]

Jennifer Lawrence’s Cleavage Is Doing a Poor Job of Convincing Us She Can Play a 16-Year-Old - Yeah, well, The Last Airbender turned Sokka into a 28-year old white guy, so do whatever. [Pajiba]

The 20 Most Bad*ss Spies and Secret Agents in Film and TV History - I hope numbers one and two are “Spy Kid” and “the other Spy Kid”, followed by Karate Dog from Karate Dog at number three. [Brobible]

Six Underappreciated Comedies More People Need To See - How the hell is Anchorman unappreciated? Hot Rod and The Foot Fist Way are inspired choices, though, and once again I say “where the hell is Josie and the Pussycats?” [Unreality]

In the best “whoops, I picked the wrong hotel” story since the Milwaukee Brewers ended up in cohabitation with a Furries convention, 31-year-old Luis Rosales tried to rob a Koreatown Los Angeles hotel and got choked the f**k out by two guys who stepped off an elevator while it was going down and just so happened to be Jiu-Jitsue No-Gi Championship competitors. Maybe if they’d been wearing gis he would’ve seen it coming.

The play-by-play, from our friends at Cage Potato:

Brent Alvarez, 33, who owns Twisted Web MMA, a 10th Planet Jiu-Jitsu affiliate in Eugene, Oregon and Billy Denney, 28, who is one of his students, subdued the struggling assailant and Alvarez used a body lock and rear naked choke to hold the man until police arrived. Apparently he thought a Twister would be too flashy.

Throughout the incident, the pair tried to reassure the thief, who was begging them to let him go so he could see his young daughter who he claimed was the motivating factor in the robbery, that he had simply made a bad decision that will do his family more harm than good.

“He wasn’t trying to punch us; he just seemed like someone who had run out of options,” Alvarez said Friday evening. “I think back now and wonder what the hell was I doing? I should have hit him and knocked him out.”

These guys rule. Cage Potato has video of the entire incident, so if you want to see the unedited version of a robber going from gun-waggling to “I’ve made a terrible mistake” in one choke, head over and check it out. I don’t compete in mixed-martial arts (gi or no gi) nor am I a 10th-anything affiliate, but I did recently spend a week in a Koreatown-area hotel, so the better parts of me say I would’ve tried something similar even if it’d ended up looking like this …

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In perhaps the greatest crime discovery in the history of modern justice, the New York Times has reviewed the New York City Police Department’s news releases, surveillance videos, suspect sketches and other media reporters to discover that criminals in the Big Apple support the New York Yankees. Over the past decade, more than 100 criminals have been arrested while wearing some sort of Yankee garb. In New York City, no other sports team was worn more than the Yankees. Truly a shocking revelation.

While the report points out that the Yankees hold more than a quarter of the market share for Major League Baseball merchandise, nobody can quite figure out why criminals in New York choose to wear a Yankees hat more than the Mets, who only had 12 criminal fans in the last 10 years. Well, while they try to figure it out, I’m gonna go pick up 13 different Yankees fashion caps from Champs.

There has to be a reason for this strange phenomenon, though, New York Times:

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