Mike McWain of Pasco, Washington, has what the Tri-City Herald refers to as “a field of dreams tattooed across his back, shoulders and arms”, and whether or not you think it’s a little light on the Moonlight Graham and a little heavy on the “God literally holding dead baseball players”, you’ll be happy to know he spent 11 years and $10,000 on the project.

“There were a lot of reasons I waited so long to finish this,” he said. “At the time I got the first tattoo done, my son was born. I had a family to support and that had to come first, plus I wasn’t making a lot of money back then to justify the expense.”

He also wanted the portraits to look like the real players, so the tattoo artist needed to be accomplished enough to meet McWain’s expectations.

Two years ago, he met Tri-City tattoo artist Jesse Walsh at the Three Rivers Tattoo Convention. Walsh, who owns Asylum Tattoo in Pasco, found the project challenging as well as stimulating.

I like the wording of “I had a family to support and that had to come first”, and now it’s 11 years later and I guess his kids are 11 and he doesn’t have to support them anymore so it’s time to sink whatever constituted a college fund into making Ty Cobb’s face look as accurate as possible on his back.

Of course, Mike is an amateur when compared to the living, organic canvas that is Chicago Bears Tattoo Guy Glenn Timmerman. I don’t see Glenn wasting valuable forearm space with images of his kids.

Be sure to head over to Tri-City Herald dot com and watch the video interview with Mike, which features him hilariously stating that in his opinion, Babe Ruth was one of the greatest baseball players of all time.

Back in January, Boston Bruins goalie Tim Thomas stirred the political pot a great deal when he refused to attend his team’s visit to the White House to meet President Barack Obama for their Stanley Cup Championship. Instead, Thomas posted some anti-government rhetoric – or his beliefs, rather – on his Facebook page to further stroke the media’s erection. So it shouldn’t have come as much of a surprise when reporters asked him how he felt about having to play in Barry O’s hometown in the first round of the NHL playoffs.

He also shouldn’t have been surprised when Washington Capitals fans showed up prepared with signs and Obama masks, like the options that were offered by the puckheads at Russian Machine Never Breaks. Sure enough, Caps fans printed them out and poured into the Verizon Center in D.C. last night and they gave Thomas hell. Oh, the Bruins also beat the Caps 4-3 and lead the series 2-1, but the real victory… that was had by the Caps fans.

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Some Raiders fans are really quite pleasant.

For the past two years, the NFL has apparently been sending undercover rival fans into stadiums to goad home fans into starting fights so Roger Goodell and his army of peacekeepers could weed out the sh*tty fans. Somewhere Bryan Stow’s family is like, “WTF Bud Selig?”

The fans that were busted picking fights and acting a fool, as my friend Ludacris would say, received lifetime bans from NFL games, because little Timmy and Sally Everyperson need to have a good time watching guys kick the piss out of each other on a field every Sunday.

But don’t worry, guys who like getting hammered and picking fights to make yourselves feel better about your awful lives. The NFL is giving you all a second chance by letting you take an online test to make sure you’ve learned your lessons.

“We’re not trying to squash anyone’s passion. We’re just trying to say don’t be violent,” said Dr. Ari Novick, the Californian who’s the brains behind the program.

Requirements will vary depending on the stadium, but most of the time the stadium louts will have to pass the test before being allowed back in, he said.

The classes are an effort to stem the rising tide of ugly stadium behavior that has included everything from bare-knuckle brawls to lewd Jets fans who screamed obscenities at women until they exposed their breasts in a rude Gate D tradition at the old Giants Stadium. (Via the New York Post)

The test also costs $75, so I wouldn’t be too shocked if a few people end up failing them two or three or 12 times before they’re allowed back, if you know what I mean.

Actually, the NFL doesn’t get any of the money. For each person who takes the test, Mothers Against Drunk Driving gets $10 and the HERO Campaign gets another $10. The other $55? Oh, it goes in Dr. Novick’s pocket. How convenient of an idea.

When I got back from Las Vegas early this morning, I had quite a few emails from readers tipping me off about the greatest sign in the history of sports fanfare at a recent Boston Bruins game. The only problem was that the sign was a photoshop from the folks at Masshole Sports and the real sign was much tamer. And as for the photoshops, I actually like this one a lot more.

Thankfully one Boston Celtics fan came through with the real deal this morning with the very inspiring LeBron James tire cover above (via Boston Bar Stool). While it’s not as universally inclusive as the greatest sports fan’s Ford truck, this tire cover is still a heck of an effort in creativity.

And I’ve often said that it would take an act of God to get me to remove my St. Louis Cardinals tire cover from my Jeep, but now I might have to re-think that.

With the NCAA Men’s Final Four field determined, there’s not much of a point in recapping the weekend’s action, because with the exception of Saturday’s early game – Louisville 72, Florida 68 – there wasn’t a great deal of suspense to break down and analyze with fart jokes and pictures of kittens dressed like Harry Potter. Although, in retrospect, I totally should have done that.

But that’s not to say that yesterday’s UNC-Kansas game – Jayhawks defeated the Tar Heels 80-67 – doesn’t at least qualify for instant classic consideration, because it was everything that we’ve come to expect from timeless rivals, despite what the score suggests. Even Tyler Zeller channeled his inner Tyler Hanbrough a few times, much to my delight.

And it has also now given us the above image that I am just going to deposit over here into my trusty “Future Memes” folder and let it incubate with the hopes that it can develop into its beautiful GIF form.

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"And this is the sound mah private plane makes... DERRRRRRRRP."

This might be my favorite story of the year so far. A Colorado man and Navy veteran passed away on Monday, and above all else he prided himself as a huge Denver Broncos fan. That’s important to note, because he went out with the coolest obituary opening I’ve ever read.

James H. “Jim” Driver, 78, of Eagle, Colo., formerly of Columbia, passed away Monday, March 19, 2012, at South Hampton Place in Columbia after a brief illness. An avid Broncos fan, he abhorred Manning and evidently wanted out before a deal was done. (Via The Columbia Daily Tribune)

Reading the rest of his obituary, Driver sounds like a pretty cool guy. He married a girl from St. Louis, lived in Florida and owned a pizza shop. He also donated his spare time to teaching kids how to ice skate – not my bag, but I like teaching kids how to curse – and helping animal shelters. It’s like he outlined the life I want to live, only to leave out the part about repopulating an entire of race of large-breasted alien women who look like Kate Upton but are all Siamese twins.

I may have never met Jim Driver, but I get the feeling I would have enjoyed watching a football game with him.

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