One of the strangers encounters that I’ve ever had with a sh*t-talking sports fan came after the Miami Heat defeated the Orlando Magic last season, and a gentleman in a Cleveland Cavaliers LeBron James jersey and Heat hat was shouting to the Amway Center crowd, “That’s how he do it! That’s how he do it!” And I didn’t need to ask him why he was wearing one team’s jersey and another’s hat, because as I have become a big NBA fan in recent years, I have ultimately learned that, unlike other professional sports leagues, the NBA is a place where fans hitching their trailers to the superstars instead of teams happens.

And yesterday, as if it was the plot of a new Alien movie written and directed by social media managers, we watched the fanboy monsters and the equally terrifying outraged Twitter activists mate and give birth to a brand new breed of worthless, misdirected Internet fury. All because LeBron James wasn’t unanimously voted the NBA’s MVP for the 2012-13 season.

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Back in March, an Alabama Crimson Tide fan named Harvey Updyke Jr. was sentenced to at least six months in jail for admitting that he poisoned the famed trees at Auburn’s Toomer’s Corner, and I’m sure that Tigers fans everywhere were none too pleased about that light verdict. After all, those trees are so-called miracles, as they’ve grown and thrived for so long despite the fact that they can be harmed by the slightest changes in weather. They’re like nature’s Jose Reyes.

But what was so unique about their survival was that the surrounding environment of the Auburn campus actually kept them alive. That is, until Updyke dropped some Spike 80DF on them and pitifully ended their amazing legacy. To best understand what the loss of these trees has meant to Auburn and its surrounding community, ESPN.com recently re-ran Wright Thompson’s essay on the trees as a parallel for our own lives and the struggles that Auburn faces as a school in the SEC, but is that poetry enough?

Not for Giancarlo Guida, an Auburn alum and diehard fan who had Toomer’s Corner tattooed on his back. And I suppose the first question is, “Why?”

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At 3-5, the Chicago Cubs aren’t exactly already eliminated from the NL Central race, but apparently one Cubs fan decided that this season was over before it ever really even started. Yesterday around 2 p.m., a man pulled up to Wrigley Field in a truck and handed off a box to a security guard…

Haha, not so fast, Brad. He instructed the guard to deliver the box directly to Cubs owner Tom Ricketts. The box never made it to Ricketts, though, because that nosey security guard and his buddies opened it first and found…

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He's gonna fill Jay Leno's shoes just fine.

Part of the charm of the mostly unknown Florida Gulf Coast University Eagles becoming the first No. 15 seed to ever advance to the Sweet 16 in the NCAA Tournament is that these kids just don’t give a f*ck. They’ve been largely celebrated – and occasionally lambasted – for their overzealous celebrations, and the truth is that these kids deserve to be excited and dance around like a-holes, because they’re the only people who ever thought they could get to this point.

Now, as the people of Ft. Myers and surrounding communities have rallied around the Eagles, and the rest of the nation encourages them to keep winning through SportsNation polls, the Eagles are sadly finally apologizing for one aspect of their celebration. Well, at least FGCU’s student government is apologizing after a “F*ck the Gators” chant broke out a recent pep rally.

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Goodness, Cleveland. Have you no pride? The Cleveland Cavaliers were up as many as 27 points against the unstoppable Miami Heat in the Quicken Loans Arena last night, before they eventually rolled over and died. The Heat won their 24th consecutive game – nine games shy of the NBA record set by the 1971-72 World Champion Los Angeles Lakers – as they ripped off a 45-14 run to overcome the deficit for a 98-95 victory and allow LeBron James to once again make the Cavs look foolish.

And it could have ended there, with the Cavs and their miserable fans once again burning James’ jerseys in the streets, but one fan dared to do what no one before him ever imagined – he begged James to come back to Cleveland. Wearing a homemade shirt that read, “2014 Come Home”, a fan sprinted on to the court during last night’s game, asking the once-King of Akron to consider opting out of his contract next season, coming back and fulfilling a promise of winning a title in the saddest sports town in America.

Good luck with that.

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On Saturday, No. 23 Ole Miss men’s basketball had a pretty tough time holding off a less-than-stellar Auburn Tigers squad, as the Rebels just barely squeaked out a 2-point win. Auburn’s Frankie Sullivan missed a three as time expired, making the game’s hero junior guard and all-around spaz Marshall Henderson, who sank two free throws to make the difference in the final score. He was also second in scoring for the Rebels with 15 points, but we only care about those two points, because they show how clutch Henderson thinks he is.

That’s why, when the clock expired, Henderson made his way to the Auburn student section, as you can see in that delightful GIF above that was posted by College Hoops Journal (H/T to Storming the Floor). As you can see, Henderson is reminding the Tigers fans that he goes to Ole Miss, which is why he is extending the front of his jersey in an outward manner, as if to say, “Excuse me, opposing fans. Have you seen this jersey? It is mine.”

Or perhaps he just wanted to know if he got any ketchup on it. Either way, the above GIF is glorious, and there are many reasons why, but I wanted to highlight my favorites in our latest Scene Breakdown.

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