The Dallas Cowboys organization has become an increasingly ridiculous shitshow over recent weeks and months (and, uh, years). The season began with the team seemingly more concerned with the cameras than practicing during Hard Knocks on HBO, and ended with people showing up whenever they feel like it and players not respecting coaches and the general back-stabbing and bitchiness you don’t see outside of sororities.
So, obviously, what the Cowboys need is… another reality show! Hosted by Michael Irvin!
The show… will feature twelve amateurs who will move to Dallas and compete against one another to earn a shot at a spot in Dallas Cowboys training camp next summer and potentially a spot on the team. [...]
The twelve contestants, including six wide receivers and six defensive backs, will be broken into two teams, overseen by notable former Cowboys coaches and players. Guest judges will appear along the way including other former players, coaches, media personalities and Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones.
Naturally, Irvin will need a catchphrase when he dismisses contestants. The early favorite is, “I’m sorry, but I have to cut you.” Then he breaks out his scissors and STABS THE GUY IN THE NECK!!! Ratings GOLD baby!