What you’re looking at is the practice floor for the Vancouver Grizzlies, the 1995 NBA expansion squad that spent six years in Canada before bailing for the bright lights of metropolitan … uh, Memphis. Thanks to an ad placed on Craigslist Vancouver, the floor can be yours, assuming you have over $10,000, a place to store a regulation-sized basketball court and any desire whatsoever to relive the twilight of Blue Edwards’ career. Oh, and assuming a PT Cruiser with the Toronto Raptors logo painted on the side is unavailable.

The ad, if you’re interested:

Me, a NSND sexy young sports blogger in a Washington Capitals jersey. You, a floor with a bear on it. I watched you on television once when I was younger … the team sucked but you were a great floor. If you want me to own you, please e-mail me. I don’t know how to play basketball. Pics attached.

Sorry, wrong ad.

Our company has moved into a new building which used to house the training court for the Vancouver Grizzlies and we are looking for anyone interested in taking the floor off of our hands!

Asking $13, 000. Pictures attached. Perfect for any fan of the Grizzlies when they were around or even an NBA collector!

Please reply to this ad! (via Vancouver Craigslist)

Here’s an idea … why don’t we start a Kickstarter to buy the floor, then cut it up into squares and hand it out to everyone who contributed? When I started as editor-in-chief of With Leather, my number one career goal was “own something Benoit Benjamin has walked on,” followed by “hack up a 1990s floor”.

[h/t to That NBA Lottery Pick]

As someone who is naturally chiseled and often compared to most Greek gods (not like you, Fatasseus), I understand how seriously some people are about a proper fitness regimen. Staying in shape is not an easy task, so when it comes to hiring an assistant, it’s important to find someone who can not only complement your style and intensity, but also stay out of your way and let you work your magic. For instance, a gentleman in Vancouver recently posted an ad on Craigslist announcing his desire to find the perfect fitness assistant for his needs, and he held nothing back. No pain, no gain, ladies.

Admittedly, I just assumed the typical Vancouver workout consisted of throwing trash cans through store windows, but according to this ad after the jump, there’s so much more to it.

Read the rest of this entry »

Additional advice: If Lenny Dykstra contacts you on Craiglist Los Angeles and wants you to come over to his house and be his “personal assistant”, don’t do it, it’s a trap.

According to the L.A. City Attorney, Lenny allegedly went to Craigslist and posted ads for a personal assistant or housekeeping services … but when the women arrived, Dykstra would “inform the women that the job also required them to give a massage and would expose himself to them.”

Officials say Dykstra pulled the XXX bait and switch at least 6 times.

I feel like it shouldn’t be too hard to say “Lenny Dykstra offered me a job at his house, let me Google Lenny Dykstra and make sure he’s not a lunatic”, but then again I’m the guy who thinks you shouldn’t use Craigslist for anything more personal than selling a futon. The second red flag should’ve been when you knocked on the door and it was answered by a C.H.U.D. businessman with a grapefruit-sized clod of refuse dirt in his mouth.

If convicted (and come on, of course he will be) Dykstra faces more jail time being tacked on to the time he’s already spending. TMZ’s excellent and informative reporting says he’s “already in custody in L.A. on a MYRIAD of federal and state charges for allegedly doing all sorts of other bad stuff” (myriad is their capitalization, not mine), and their inability to click their own “Lenny Dykstra” tag and tell you he’s a drug dealer, car thief and friend of Charlie Sheen makes me wish they ran a formal sports blog.

“Derek Jeter has BRUTALLY BROKEN up with Minka Kelly. Jeter, the HANDSOME BEAU famous for doing things, said things.”

Maybe TMZ needs an assistant. I did go to massage therapy school, after all.