Seriously, Shaun White. You’ve ruined the Little Mermaid for millions of perverts.
Now here’s the weekend’s best sports action, as I get ready to go prepare for the Orlando Magic opener in the only acceptable manner – drowning myself in bourbon.
Trick question: This dog wins.
There were obviously a lot of athletes dressed up for Halloween over the past several days, which makes it incredibly difficult to choose who, out of thousands, had the best costume. I still stand by my assertion that paralympic skier John Sundquist had the best costume, but other people felt otherwise, including our brethren bloggers who believe that Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson perhaps “won” Halloween with his pretty fantastic Incredible Hulk costume.
Fortunately, we can now chop this debate down a little in subcategories, as Rocky wasn’t the only athlete to sport the angry green skin and messy black hair get-up this year. As it turns out, UFC heavyweight fighter Antonio Silva also dressed as the Incredible Hulk, and you can decide for yourself after the jump which athlete Hulked it better.
"What is a lamp, you nincompoop? It's a Major Award. I won it!"
When Josh Sundquist was 9-years old, he was diagnosed with bone cancer and the doctors gave him a 50/50 chance to live, according to his website’s bio. Ultimately, he had his left leg amputated after a year of chemotherapy, and I don’t know about you folks, but I don’t know how an adult could deal with that, let alone a 10-year old kid. But when doctors informed Josh at age 13 that he was cancer-free, he decided that he wanted to be a skier. Not only that, he wanted to compete in ski racing, which just makes me feel like an ass for skipping the gym for the past two three four five every month.
And not only was he eventually named to the US Paralympic Ski Team, and not only did he compete at the 2006 Paralympics in Turino, Italy (he didn’t win any medals, but neither did you), and not only is he the only athlete in history to be named to the Paralympic Ski Team and the US Amputee Soccer Team, but he also has a hell of a sense of humor about everything. That’s why he’s a bestselling author, a national spokesman for the Combined Federal Campaign, and the winner of this year’s athlete Halloween costume contest.
Josh dressed up as the lamp from A Christmas Story, and yes, it’s as fantastic as it sounds.
The hardest part of owning a dog isn’t training it and remembering to do all the small things like feeding, walking and bathing it, nor is it teaching it how to run up to big breasted women with a rose in its mouth and a tiny little envelope with a hotel room key attached to its collar. No, the most difficult thing about being a dog owner is determining when it is acceptable to dress a pet in costumes, and the answer is two-fold: 1) On any holidays or sports game days for photos only and 2) Halloween. Those aren’t my rules, just Vatican law.
And people in New York City agree with those rules, as they gathered this past Saturday for the annual Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade and costume contest to determine which of the pooches in attendance wagged it best. The winner? Gracie, the puggish sort of thing in the banner pic.
The weather cleared up just in time for Saturday’s annual Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade. A tradition 22 years strong, this year’s costumes did not fall short with creative looks like Fifty Shades of Grey, Mutt Romney and this adorable Corgi Fire Truck. And while all the hundreds of outfitted pooches were winners in our book, Evita placed first with her ornate outfit. (Via Petside)
But when it comes to Halloween dog contests, there can’t really ever be just one winner, unless it’s a bulldog dressed as the devil. Unfortunately, there were no bulldogs dressed as devils at this year’s Tompkins Square parade, just a ton of other dogs in great costumes. After the jump, check out some of our favorites, and there are plenty more over at Petside and the HuffPo.
Despite being absolutely mauled in a three-game sweep at the hands of their villainous arch-rivals, the St. Louis Cardinals – this is how I assume every article in the Midwest began last night and this morning, by the way – the Chicago Cubs left Busch Stadium with their heads high and a positive attitude. In fact, the whole team decided to dress up in zany costumes, as has been a “hilarious” trend throughout the league this season and seasons past.
As you can see above, some of the Cubbies honored their favorite super heroes, while others dressed as video game and movie characters. And even after the 23-1 ass-stompery, which included a 7th inning for the ages in Game 2 on Saturday, the Cubs stood by their promise to dress up and have some fun.
“I have to do it,’’ Alfonso Soriano said of the commitment to put on his costume after a 7-0 loss. “I don’t want to do it now, but everybody else is doing it, so I think I have to do it.’’
Though some other staff and players also seemed reluctant, nearly everyone complied with the event, which had been planned, and once postponed, since spring training, including Ryan “Captain America” Dempster, Anthony “Buzz Lightyear” Rizzo, Carlos “Zorro” Marmol and manager Dale “Hellboy” Sveum. (Via the Chicago Sun-Times)
Of course, their fun couldn’t be dampened solely by the fact that they lost 3 straight games, instead some of the Cubs also had to be reminded that they were dressing up as Batman characters only a few days after the Aurora, CO shooting. If that wasn’t completely bad enough – and short of a reporter running over Ryan Dempster’s dog – the Sun-Times also reminded everyone that this weekend was a celebration of Ron Santo’s life for Cubs fans, and he absolutely loathed costume days.
All in all, I’d say the Cubs probably feel like complete crap today. But at least they’re having fun.
Since winning the 2011 World Series, the St. Louis Cardinals have had a special motto during their road trips – #HappyFlight. Because most of the guys on the roster came up with each other in the minors, they have one of those brotherly bond things happening that I’m sure is only slightly less annoying to non-Cardinals fans than hearing about how their fans, of which I am one, are the classiest and most intelligent in baseball. *tilts top hat, spits tobacco juice*
But as for those happy flights, the Cardinals just try to have fun and keep everyone happy, which is why they showed up to AT&T Park yesterday wearing the goofiest outfits they could find. Led by David Freese, who wore some sort of Dr. Seuss-mescaline-inspired red tuxedo, and Lance Berkman in a bright pink ruffled tux, the reigning world champs shot a torpedo of hilarity into the bond between fashion and sports. And then they hit the field and committed 3 errors to hand the game to the San Francisco Giants.
Perhaps before they play the Los Angeles Dodgers today, they can wear cargo nets between their legs.
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