Ray Nagin buys fake playoff tickets, treats people like crap

According to a report from NOLA.com, former New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin bought invalid Saints playoff tickets from a city vendor (who bought them from Brian Urlacher’s brother) (wait, what) and almost missed out on one of the perks of being a corrupt dingbat by getting stuck outside of Soldier Field in the cold until somebody fixed it. The whole thing reads like a Clay Davis episode of “The Wire,” without any overreaching arc of morality or Nagin saying “sheeeeeeeeit.”

Because of the mix-up, a party of New Orleans officials that had flown to the game in Chicago in a private plane, then rode from the airport in three Lincoln Town Cars, were stuck outside frigid Soldier Field because the mayor and his wife couldn’t get in. Burns, who said he provided the Town Cars, was there and said he stepped in. He said he knew the man who ran the stadium and was able to pull strings to get the New Orleans group in and avoid an embarrassing public-relations gaffe.

Burns said he and [Aaron] Bennett were forced to stand in the Chicago Bears suite the whole game so that Nagin and his wife could have seats. Also there from the New Orleans group were Bennett’s wife Melanie and Greg Meffert, the mayor’s former technology chief, who had quit his city post about six months earlier.

In addition to the whole thing being crazy and random (Brian Urlacher’s brother sells phony playoff tickets? Really?), there are a ton of lies and misappropriated finger-pointing going on, so if you’re interested in knowing how deep this guy’s Sarlacc of mistrust goes, read more about it here. To me, the whole thing reads like an episode of King of Queens, where King of Queens meets a guy in a trenchcoat on the street and buys “Superbowl” tickets from him with the $2000 he was supposed to spend on groceries, then lives it up renting limos and buying hookers for Jerry Stiller or whatever until they get to the gate and find out they’re fake. Stupid fat King of Queens!

Also in this story, the King of Queens has a machine gun is an awful prick who does an awful job being in charge of millions of peoples’ lives.

[H/T to Cajun Boy]

We were certainly quick to call the decision to host the 2022 World Cup in Qatar corrupt and ridiculous bullsh*t, but it turns out that the country’s deep-pocketed leaders may be on track to producing the most fan-friendly event in the history of the sport. While I’m not sure that you can beat people being bludgeoned with vuvuzelas for excitement, Qatar University scientists claim that in addition to featuring ice cold air conditioning in the stadium, they have also invented synthetic clouds that can cover the area and keep temperatures cool.

That’s right – they’ve invented a weather controlling device.

Saud Abdul Ghani, head of the Mechanical and Industrial Engineering at Qatar University, said: “Artificial cloud will move by remote control, made of 100% light carbonic materials, fuelled by four solar-powered engines and it will fly high to protect direct and indirect sun rays to control temperatures at the open playgrounds.” (Via ESPN Soccernet)

Ghani added: “MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

World Cup officials were initially concerned that Qatar’s summer season would be unbearably hot for visiting fans, and there have even been discussions of scheduling the World Cup in the winter instead of the summer. But then I imagine that Qatar’s president fanned them with a few stacks of money and said, “See? It’s not hot here, it’s perfect!”