The best part of this Futsal argument escalating into a Muay Thai knockout (besides me learning what the hell “Futsal” is) is easily the YouTube commenter explaining his motivations:

This was in Russia , futsal 3rd division. I’ve asked the guy why he did that and he said he was pissed off because of the taunting on the missed tackle and being called gay.

I also would’ve accepted “he was told to stick a rubber hose up his nose so he shootkicked his opponent to death”. (via Sportress)

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

UFC 145: Jones VS. Evans Live-Blog With Vince Mancini And Danny Boy Downes This Saturday |With Leather|

Nike Bans Midnight Releases, Initiates Twitter RSVP Policy But Will It Help? |Smoking Section|

TV’s 20 Greatest Original (Non-Theme) Songs |Warming Glow|

We Handicap Some Joseph Gordon-Levitt “Dark Knight Rises” Rumors |Gamma Squad|

Move Over Rebecca Black, We’ve Got Hot Girl Problems |UPROXX|

Carnival is offering a Saw-themed cruise for torture-porn masochists |Film Drunk|

Meme Watch: Bad Luck Leo Is Here To Divert Your Attention From Leonardo DiCaprio Banging Models |UPROXX|

The Internet’s Obsession With Hologram Tupac Extends To An Amazing Video And All-Hologram Coachella Poster |UPROXX|

Esquire & Chrissy Teigen Create New Rules For Concert-Going |Smoking Section|

Supercut: Movie students giving dumbass answers |Film Drunk|

Jeremy Lin, Tim Tebow Part Of Time’s 100 Most Influential People In The World |With Leather|

Who Really Gives You The Best Value For Your Used Games? |Gamma Squad|

The Return of Bob Loblaw and More ‘Arrested Development’ News |Warming Glow|

Read the rest of this entry »

Okay, maybe not, but this puppy running to a Firefly B-side is pretty awesome.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

Check UPROXX Out On Flipboard - Hooray, we have an app! Now you’ll never be too far away from Kate Upton slideshows and the 50 Most Craprifficially Stinktacular Epic Fail Bombz In some medium’s history. [UPROXX]

The 15 Best TV Series on Netflix Instant - A great resource, even if people still think ‘Scrubs’ was good. Be sure to check out the new, Ufford-less Warming Glow, where I will be trying to get a roster spot every second or third day for the next year. [Warming Glow]

One In The Ink, Two In The Stink: The Most Regrettable Tattoos You’ll See This Week - |UPROXX|

Shame Review: Michael Fassbender Likes Sex. A Lot. That’s Pretty Much It. - The best part of Shame is the end, where Carey Mulligan yells SHAME! COME BACK! [Film Drunk]

NYT: “Women Won’t Like Game of Thrones” - It’s a crossover hit. It’s not just for fantasy enthusiasts, they’re telling human stories in a fantasy world. (fill out the forms please thanks) [Gamma Squad]

Join The #PassTheCrown Contest With The Smoking Section! - The contest to see who can be the HOTTEST MC IN THE GAME! Actually I haven’t clicked the link yet so I have no idea what this is about, but go do it, no matter what it is. [Smoking Section]

The 23 Most Provocative Questions Posed By Philosoraptor - Pretty funny, but yes, in Japan there are uncool kids who are really into American culture. What, you’ve never read Dave Barry Goes To Japan? [Buzzfeed]

10 Unbelievable Reactions to Movies - I feel like if you pass out during a movie you’ve got problems that have nothing to do with the movie. Oh no, I saw something gross, /shuts down brain. We aren’t hedgehogs, we don’t roll into a f**king ball. [Moviefone]

The 10 Biggest Oscar Snubs of the 2012 Academy Awards: A Pajiba Prediction - Shockingly accurate, especially about Winnie The Pooh. I would’ve spent the whole time bitching about Hugo not winning Best Picture and Sacha Baron Cohen not winning Best Supporting Actor. [Pajiba]

The Ultimate ’90s Nerd Battle - Urkel Bot would win, all Screech could do in a fight is tear somebody’s shirt. [Unreality]

Greenville News Drops Giant ‘F*ck’ In Newspaper Story About the SEC Championship Game This Weekend - It took me a minute to find it, but when I did, holy sh*t. Or holy f**k, I guess. [BroBible]

Links

Barbara Walters Interviews The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles In 1991 - I remember this, as I remember everything Ninja Turtles related. How many of you went to the Coming Out Of Our Shells Tour, raise your hand. [The High Definite]

The Smoking Section Ranks In The Source’s Power 30 List - New professional goal: start ranking on peoples’ Power Lists. I can lift a car, my blog has to be better than Grantland. [Smoking Section]

Five Cognitive Biases That Prove Your Brain Hates Science - I basically live in a world built on Blindspot Bias. In it, I can’t understand why anyone would read Cracked.com. [Gamma Squad]

Plot Of Jack & Jill Recreated With Passive-aggressive Quotes From Scathing Reviews - Second new professional goal: start calling myself “A.O.” something. Those aren’t initials, idiot, they’re what Tony Danza says when he’s trying to avoid confrontation. [Film Drunk]

Corgi Friday: A Youtube-stravaganza - I wish my cat would get this excited to see me after trips. He just kinda stands and yells at me. [Warming Glow]

Meme Watch: First World Problems Finally Have A Macro, One First World Problem Solved - Love that “White People Problems” has a racially-nonspecific PC equivalent. [UPROXX]

McRib With Bacon And Mozzarella Sticks - The worst link I could possibly give you. I’d rather have you think I’m a pussy than be dead at 45. [Buzzfeed]

Adult Swim’s 15 Best Webcontents of the Week - “Webcontents” gets funny when you say it as one world, like malcontent. I moved my website to the hills and don’t let anyone visit it because I’m a webcontent! [Adult Swim]

Photoshop Creates an Attractive Woman From a Blank Canvas [VIDEO] - This would be more impressive if 1) every photo we had wasn’t photoshopped to death, causing us accept tons of photoshop as “normal” and 2) people haven’t been able to do this with pen and paper and like, paint for thousands of years. [The FW]

Movies That Made Numbers and Dates Terrifying - May 19th! MAY 19TH! [Moviefone]

The Five Biggest Fantasy Football Busts of 2011 (and Five Players You Should Pick Up Now) - I’m currently 470-something in our DraftStreet fantasy football contest. I have no f**king goddamn clue how to play fantasy football. [The Smoking Jacket]

15 Funny Real Life Sci-Fi Road Sign Hacks - The guy who hacked his to be about Harry Potter sucks so bad I can’t even process it. [Unreality]

I am currently finishing up a guest installment of Warming Glow’s Corgi Friday, so these links will be a little less wordy than usual. That’s probably for the best, isn’t it? We’ve got a lot of cool stuff on our network, so take your time and check it all out. Then, come back to Warming Glow and look at the pictures I took at a corgi party in Austin. THEN, go to the With Leather main page and hit refresh non-stop until it’s time for you to go to bed.

Links

Works Of Art: Rap’s 33 Most Memorable Illustrated Album Covers [Smoking Section]

The NPH Venn Diagram [UPROXX]

Frotcast 72: Lindy West LIVE IN STUDIO! [Film Drunk]

5 Reasons Most Studies About Violent Video Games are B.S. [Gamma Squad]

‘Top Chef: Dads’ Is Hilarious [Warming Glow]

People Of Detroit Rise Up To Protest Any And All Association With Nickelback [UPROXX]

Comedian Suing Kim Kardashian Offers Perfect Opportunity To Post More Amazing Kardashian Gifs [UPROXX]

Marky Mark’s Wahlburgers: A FilmDrunkard’s Review [Film Drunk]

Something Something Alison Brie [Warming Glow]

Can’t Stay Away: Allen Iverson Wants Another Shot At The NBA [Smoking Section]

Kate Beckinsale In A Leather Catsuit Again? If You Insist. [Gamma Squad]

Read the rest of this entry »

This is Destiny (a.k.a. “stop talking about your girlfriend” from The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw column) dressed as Flo from the Progressive insurance commercials, and I can say without hyperbole that it’s the best and most personally-appropriate costume ever. She actually works in insurance, and she can go from normal face to CRAZY EYES on command. My costume has been included as the inset image, and while it was also a solidly-nerdy pop culture reference, I’m not sure how big a picture I want on my website of me in a white-ass morphsuit.

And yes, that’s actually me.

Links

Kris Jenkins Hosts The Worst Comedy Sketch In The History Of Television - More things need to be filmed on a set featuring a fake foyer. It reminds me of the Murderface and Knubbler Christmas Special. [SBN]

You Knew It Was Coming: The Greatest Halloween Pet Costumes You’ll See This Year - I’m disappointed that there are 40,000 costumes for dogs, but only like four velcro novelty hats available for cats. I want to dress my cat like the Lone Ranger, dammit, and Petsmart needs to provide for me that option. [UPROXX]

Meme Watch: We’re A Culture, Not A Costume Parody Posters - A little offensive in its counter-productivity (and people should really stop dressing as geisha, because Jesus Christ, get with it, America) but worth it for the Mummy and zombie Big Show cameos. [UPROXX]

Mega Gallery: Awesome, Geeky Pumpkins To Attempt To Carve This Weekend - I’m stuck somewhere between wanting to carve Roseanne cast face pumpkins and saying f**k it to creativity and just doing McDonald’s-style jack-o-lanterns for the rest of my life. [Gamma Squad]

101 Halloween Corgis - I’m covering Corgi Friday for Matt this week, and look at what I have to follow. [Warming Glow]

10 Halloween Tips For The Star Wars Obsessed - Tip 11: It’s 2011 and Star Wars has been rendered awful by its creator, you should probably get obsessed with something more esoteric but still good, like Babylon 5 or maybe Doctor Who. [Smoking Section]

Every ‘Friday the 13th’ Kill Ever - Why hello, naked Willa Ford. Also, Willa Ford, in case you’re reading this, I thought “I Wanna Be Bad” was awesome and you should be my friend in real life. [UGO]

14 “Sexy” Costumes That Defy Logic - Sexy costume backlash is reaching critical mass, yet the only options for women at Halloween stores are sexy costumes. Is this the great paradox of our times? [Buzzfeed]

Five Horror Movies That Were a Nightmare For the Actors - Weee! More anecdotes about that lady getting her butt scratched by brambles during The Texas Chainsaw Massacre! [The Smoking Jacket]

Nyan Cat Dog Wins Halloween - Somewhere the Rick Astley Dog is crying because his owner is behind the times. [The Daily What]

The 50 Creepiest Pieces Of Romance Advice Ever Published - Something legitimately spooky for you to finish out the links. People who follow this advice (or give it) should be accompanied by thunder crashes and flickering lights at all times. Also, bubbling cauldron noises. [FARK]

E-van! Get the tables!

With Leather

The Dugout: Evan Longoria’s Police Report - If you missed Friday’s edition of The Dugout, don’t; it contains references to Ice Cube, MotorStorm, and Evan Longoria stealing from dying children with an automatic weapon. Exactly the kind of thing sports blogs should be covering. [The Dugout]

The Greatest Collection of Kate Upton Photos Ever - Reproduced for no reason, really, one of our Kate Upton galleries. This is the kind of thing you should revisit on a Monday morning to get your blood pumping. Also, to remind yourself that no woman is perfect and they’re all disappointing and flawed! [With Leather]

Happy 58th Birthday Hulk Hogan, Now Here’s Your Naked Daughter - Brook’s comments on Twitter: “Im SO sick of people saying me and my dad are in some perverted relationship! Go home and do your own thing! Stop picking on me!” Our response? Stop giving us ammo. [With Leather]

Burnsy’s Bad Advice - A series you should click back through, if only to find the parts that are already wrong. I always want to say “fantasy sports are a crap shoot, not a science, you can just pick people based on chaos theory and win”, and then I remember how every month we do DraftStreet fantasy sports and the same 10 guys murder me, so maybe Burnsy just knows what he’s talking about. [With Leather]

Elsewhere On Uproxx

Jay-Z & Kanye West – Otis Video - Worth it for the in-character Tom Haverford cameo. Somewhat not worth it for Kanye West’s inability to try hard. Sorta like listening to the radio and someone’s conversation at the same time. [Smoking Section]

The Greatest Collection of Corgi GIFs Ever Created - If Queen Kate Upton didn’t make you click, the cute dog from Cowboy Bebop will. I pretend every corgi I see is Ein. Makes me feel a little better about not living in the post-apocalyptic future. [Warming Glow]

Tom Felton Attempts to Slytherin in Your Pants with Harry Potter Pick-Up Lines - Tom Felton should attempt to stop making his face look forty. [Gamma Squad]

Director Promises Human Centipede 3 Will Be 1,000 Percent More Medically Accurate - Sometimes I wish perverted movies could be made by artists, and not just perverts. I like that the original concept of “haha ew they’re pooping in each others’ mouths” has now been enough to make three movies. [Film Drunk]

Not Sports

10 Commercials from Famous Directors - I don’t know a lot, but I know David Fincher’s “Leave Nothing” Nike commercial with LaDainian Tomlinson and Troy Polamalu is the best commercial of all time. That sh*t makes me cry, and is legitimately better than 9 of 10 movies. [Ask Men]

Hanson Is Feuding with Kings of Leon - I’m siding with Hanson on this one. Honestly, I’d side with Hitler if he was feuding with the Kings of Leon. Ugh, Kings of Leon. I liked you guys better when you were trying to be Stillwater. [FARK]

More Accurate Titles for New Fall TV Shows - “Crap with eight episodes you’ll scroll past on Hulu Plus to get to Parks and Rec.” There, I saved you ten minutes of reading. [College Humor]

Cinema’s 12 Greatest Albino or Albino-like Characters - Chances are I’ll link any article that lets me make a Powder joke. I hope the director went to the studio execs and said “okay, I want to make a movie about a guy who gets pushed in the mud so he kills himself with lightning”. [Pajiba]