Real Madrid Will Run Over Anything

Written by Brandon Stroud / 07.14.11

Back in April I put up a video of Real Madrid winning the Copa del Rey, then promptly dropping and running over it with a double-decker bus. That’s the sort of mishap that mishappens once in a lifetime, right? Well, it turns out Real Madrid is really into committing vehicular manslaughter on the things they love, because now they’ve dropped a woman and run over her with a golf cart.

A rundown of events (cough) via Brooks Peck at Dirty Tackle:


While the players were being transported around the [UCLA] campus, one female fan decided to bum-rush one of the moving carts. She apparently didn’t consider the science of what happens when a person runs directly into a moving golf cart, because she got run over. The cart stopped momentarily before zooming off on its merry way.

The best part is the Hit And Run, because the guy filming just sort of goes “heh” and everyone moves on with their lives. No additional information is known about the victim at this time, but I’ve got a couple of working theories:

1. The woman was trying to commit suicide in the most uptight, Caucasian way possible (via a golf cart carrying a soccer team on a California college campus).
2. The woman was simply blind and jogging in the wrong direction.
3. The woman is Kevin James, and this is one of 800 similar jokes in his next movie.

Regardless, this is the least alert soccer team of all time. I hope you guys never crash your plane in the Andes Mountains, you’ll be dead within 20 minutes.

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Real Stupid Madrid

Written by Brandon Stroud / 04.21.11

What would happen to the New York Mets if they won a World Series in 2011? They’d accidentally drop the World Series trophy during their ticker tape parade, and probably drive over it in a double decker bus. At least, that’s what The Dugout about the Mets winning the World Series would be. So imagine my surprise when I saw Sergio Ramos of Real Madrid do that exact thing with the Copa del Rey, their first major trophy in three years.

How does this even happen? Maybe the bus driver was a fan of Barcelona. Maybe God wanted to prove that he exists by pointing out the hubris of man. Either way, that’s got to be a difficult thing to get over when it’s time to renew your contract. “Oh, yeah, that’s right, you’re the guy who dropped our trophy and got it ran over by a bus. No, wait, a DOUBLE BUS.”

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