Remember when Roger Clemens swore up and down in front of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform that he had never taken steroids or used performance-enhancing drugs while playing professional baseball? And remember how his trainer Brian McNamee ratted him out to that same committee? Yeah, Clemens might be royally screwed now.

The former New York Yankees pitcher has been indicted by federal authorities on six charges of perjury and obstruction after allegedly lying his pock-mark-riddled ass off to the House committee in 2008. Clemens and McNamee famously bickered in front of elected government officials with nothing better to do than hold hearings on PED use in baseball, eventually leading to the decision to investigate Clemens for perjury. Tough luck, Roger. Let’s hope nobody throws their bat at you in prison.

Don’t drop the soap, New York Times:

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I know I don't have to tell you who the chairman of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform is, but in case your mind is still addled from all that Tullamore Dew you drank last night (you might have a problem), it's the Honorable Henry Waxman from California.  Well he and the ranking minority member of that committee, Tom Davis of Virginia, have sent a letter to Vince McMahon and the WWE because:

"The tragic deaths of World Wrestling Entertainment star Chris Benoit and his family have raised questions about reports of widespread use of steroids and other performance-enhancing drugs by professional wrestlers."

Wait, what?  The use of steroids in professional wrestling is widespread?  Certainly King Kong Bundy wasn't on the juice, and if he was, don't tell me because I'll weep as I remove the life-size poster of him from my wall.  Anyway, the committee is requesting records of drug-testing similar to those requested of MLB.  You may be asking yourself, "Doesn't Congress have bigger fish to fry right now?" or "Surely they realize this is a spectacle of entertainment and not a sport?" (The DJ-3000 would say: "Those clowns in Congress have done it again. What a bunch of clowns." How does it keep up with the news like that?) It seems not.  This House committee is already composing letters to investigate heroin use among jazz musicians, marijuana use among jam bands/reggae groups, and cocaine use  among Hollywood producers/writers/actors in Hollywood.  I'd love to see Robert Downey Jr. in front of a congress subcommittee wouldn't you?  He needs the work. -KD