Augusta To Women: ‘Come On In, Babes’

Written by Ashley Burns / 08.20.12

Martha Burk is going to have to find something else to fill her time with, as the wrinkled old bros at the Augusta National Golf Club have finally broken down and admitted two female members. In what is being heralded as one of the biggest moments in the history of women being allowed to play golf at a place that formerly didn’t allow women to play golf at – Pulitzer, please – Augusta’s chairman Billy Payne announced in a statement that Condoleezza Rice and Darla Moore would be getting lockers next to White Richington, III and the Monopoly dude.

“This is a joyous occasion as we enthusiastically welcome Secretary Condoleezza Rice and Darla Moore as members of Augusta National Golf Club,” Payne said in a statement. “We are fortunate to consider many qualified candidates for membership at Augusta National. Consideration with regard to any candidate is deliberate, held in strict confidence and always takes place over an extended period of time. The process for Condoleezza and Darla was no different.

“These accomplished women share our passion for the game of golf and both are well known and respected by our membership. It will be a proud moment when we present Condoleezza and Darla their Green Jackets when the Club opens this fall.

“This is a significant and positive time in our Club’s history and, on behalf of our membership, I wanted to take this opportunity to welcome them and all of our new members into the Augusta National family.” (Via USA Today)

I can’t wait until Rice and Moore show up to play their first round of golf and some old dude walks up to them and asks for a club sandwich and some cold beers as a joke to make all of the other 1-percenters laugh. Mainly because two days later, Rice will have that guy’s testicles wired to a plane engine in the deepest hole in Gitmo, as some Jason Bourne type drips battery acid on his forehead every morning before plying his toe nails away one at a time.

So congrats, women!

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Women Be Shoppin’… For NFL Gear

Written by Ashley Burns / 08.15.12

Two weeks ago, the NFL announced that it had signed some pretty heavy hitters to endorse a new line of fan gear for women, and while it’s not as awesome as when the league did this, it’s still a hell of a statement. Based on the fact that women comprise nearly half of pro football’s fan base, the NFL has brought in some powerful female figures to introduce Jane Everywoman to the “It’s My Team” gear, and the first images hit the webs today.

Among those powerful women are Miami Dolphins 1% owner Serena Williams and former Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, who is repping her Cleveland Browns gear. Obviously she’s not a Buffalo Bills fan because Jack Donaghy eventually owns them, and he plays the flute, which is worse than the piano. Sports!

“Forty-five percent of fans are female and that continues to grow,” says Tracey Bleczinski, vice president of NFL consumer products. “We do have something for everyone, and this campaign aims to communicate that if you are living and wearing football, you can do it every day, year-round.”

Meanwhile, New York Jets owner Woody Johnson’s wife, Suzanne, is appearing in the ads and she wants women to understand it’s about infusing fashion with a lady’s gameday attire, so she can look good when the New York crowd starts chanting, “Show your t*ts!”

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