Update: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar hates shit.

You wouldn’t think the guy who wore a golf sweater with Uncle Phil on ‘The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air’ and and taught Uncle Jesse how to play basketball on ‘Full House’ would be so hyper-critical of popular culture, but the 2013 version of Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is suddenly super into telling you what he hates about stuff he sees. He hates ‘Girls.’ He thought Django Unchained was a “good B-movie.” KAREEM ONLY LIKES THE DICK VAN DYKE SHOW AND OZU, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

The folks at ‘Conan’ have taken advantage of Kareem’s late-life blogger crisis by having him review other things, and, as you might expect from a Conan sketch that actually involves the person they’re making fun of, it’s great. Kareem reviews Silver Linings Playbook, discusses the fiber benefits of whole grain Fig Newtons and slam dunks the Mona Lisa, both figuratively and literally. It’s not him running down that kid’s dad in Airplane!, but it’s worth a watch.

Video is below.

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If you’ve ever wanted to see a bear try to slam dunk while being attacked by a gang of sharks, now’s your chance.

Conan O’Brien put together a dunk contest of mascots that should never dunk, and it’s … almost majestic. The aforementioned bear takes on a giant thing of non-dairy creamer, the Olive Garden never-ending pasta bowl, a CD discount bin, and more. I won’t spoil it for you, but one of them actually connects on a dunk. It’s my new favorite thing, and I wish it’d gone on for 90 minutes.

Video is below.

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Yesterday, we shared an appearance from Los Angeles Clippers alley-oopist Blake Griffin on Conan, wherein he made a bunch of weird faces and created Conan O’Brien to be his teammate in NBA 2K13. In a better world I’d be sharing Conan clips every day, and Metta World Peace would accept his fate and become the Masturbating Bear.

Anyway, today’s Conan clips feature World Series champion and insectoid athlete overlord Hunter Pence discussing what happens when your bat shatters and hits a ball three times and/or the value of using a Katy Perry song as your walk-up music. He also reveals that when he doesn’t know what’s happening and people tell him to run, he does so by flapping his arms around and yelling “woooo”. HE IS ALSO A BUNCH OF INSECTS IN A MAN SUIT.

Both clips are after the jump.

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I woke up to give-or-take 30 e-mails this morning. A third of them started with HI JOSH because people want links but don’t actually read the site, a third of them were “inspirational photos” from Hurricane Sandy where somebody superimposes an angel face on a storm cloud and the final third, the third I can’t get enough of, were clips of Blake Griffin being funny. Nay, hilarious.

He does this a lot. He’s sorta cornered the market on being the “funny basketball player,” assuming Metta World Peace is doing this all by accident. So far on With Leather we’ve written about Blake being stalked by a puppet version of himself, dunking in the nude, hanging out with Elmo and talking with television’s Dwight Schrute about his fear of Chinese people.

Because I can’t devote a single post to every Blake Griffin video I get, I’ve decided to lump them all together. Inside you will find:

1. Blake Griffin making INTENSE DUNK FACES.
2. Creating Conan O’Brien in NBA 2K13, then taking alley-oops from him.
3. Time traveling back to 1995 in a Kia to shoot free throws.
4. Time traveling back to 1997 to play football with himself.
5. A really concerning appearance in a Brazzers video.

Okay, almost all of those things are inside.

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Conan O’Brien’s ‘Clueless Gamer’ segments are the best. If you frequent UPROXX, you may have already seen him play through ‘Skyrim’ as a cat named Mr. Buttons or not give a shit about ‘Minecraft’.

This week’s segment reviews ‘Just Dance 4,’ enlisting the help of U.S. Olympic soccer gold medalist/the Internet’s girlfriend Alex Morgan. Alex and Conan dance their way through Carly Rae Jepsen’s ‘Call Me Maybe’ and Europe’s ‘The Final Countdown’ before Conan gives up completely and leaves Alex to roll around on the floor by herself.

It’s five minutes of Alex Morgan dancing in workout clothes, people, you don’t need me to blurb this for you. Video is below.

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Exclusive ESPN coverage of Conan & Andy’s brutal beatdown of budding Olympians.

That’s the description for the following clip from ‘Conan’, featuring Conan O’Brien and Andy Richter putting all the “which Dream Team could beat which other Dream Team” debates to bed by challenging the Dream Team 2032, aka a bunch of little kids. Highlights include nap time, a game of keep-away and the natural hilarity of watching tiny, tiny babies try to shoot a basketball on a regulation hoop. Also, Conan O’Brien being surprisingly pretty good at basketball.

Full video is below, with a h/t to NESW Sports. The Orlando Magic should go ahead and look into signing some of these guys.

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