We’ve already shared a gallery of depressing pictures from Thursday’s Browns/Steelers game and an even more depressing set about their fans, so it’s no surprise that game’s head-to-softer-head collision that concussed Browns quarterback Colt McCoy would lead somewhere depressing, no matter what side you’re on — the league has decided to celebrate James Harrison’s fifth illegal hit against a quarterback in the past three seasons by making him the first player suspended for helmet-to-helmet since the rule’s emphasis.

“We’re disappointed, we’re disappointed for James,” Steelers coach Mike Tomlin said Monday. “Because we know, quite frankly, how hard he’s worked to play within the rules. He’s worked extremely hard to adjust his game. Unfortunately, the incident did happen, it was a penalty, we have to be accountable for that. He has to be accountable for that.”

The suspension is effective immediately, but Harrison has requested an expedited hearing and they’ve set a date for his appeal. Oh, and in case you wonder how he feels about the whole thing:

I guess rolling on the floor would’ve been seen as insincere.

If you missed the hit, you can check out the video below.

After the LOL, Harrison thanked his fans and supporters and talked about how he was going to “move on from here” and get ready for his next game. I guess it’s hard to say “I’m going to hit people in the face with the crown of my head because Ndamukong Suh is awesome and I’m rich and you’re probably just going to have to deal with it” in 140 characters. Maybe he should’ve went with SMDH.

For all intents and purposes, Cleveland’s 14-3 loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers wasn’t that big of a deal.

It was a defensive struggle. The Browns went into the game 4-8 against the 9-3 Steelers, so dropping a game on the road by only 11 points is pretty good. That’s sorta the running theme of being a Cleveland sports fan, you have to watch the Indians do well through June and finish the season clinging to second place in the worst division in baseball going “hey, this isn’t so bad!” Or the alternative, “CLEVELAND HAS WASTED THE LAST 20 YEARS OF MY LIFE, GO CLEVELAND.”

Because I’m not a Lead Football Analyst I can’t provide any insights you wouldn’t catch watching guys talk over a game, but what I can do is show you ten photos from the game and cut to the heart of the situation, bypassing photo service captions like “#18 makes a tackle on December 8, 2011″ with easier to handle captions like “look at this football team suck a f**king dick, you guys”.

So, enjoy that.

Via AP Photo:

Pittsburgh Steelers wide receiver Antonio Brown, right, gets by Cleveland Browns free safety Mike Adams (20) after making a catch, on the way to a touchdown in the fourth quarter of an NFL football game Thursday, Dec. 8, 2011, in Pittsburgh. The Steelers won 14-3.

Alternate caption:

That’s an awful lot of white morphsuit going on for so little to be happening.

Via Getty Images:

Jerricho Cotchery #89 of the Pittsburgh Steelers catches an 11-yard touchdown reception in the first quarter against Dimitri Patterson #21 of the Cleveland Browns at Heinz Field on December 8, 2011 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Alternate caption:

If you turn the picture sideways it looks like the Browns are trying to help each other over a wall.

From Reuters Pictures:

Pittsburgh Steelers Jerricho Cotchery celebrates his touchdown against the Cleveland Browns in the first quarter of their NFL football game in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, on December 8, 2011.

Alternate caption:

u mad

From Getty Images:

Greg Little #15 of the Cleveland Browns reaches out for a pass against the Pittsburgh Steelers during the game on December 8, 2011 at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Alternate caption:

juuuuuuuuuuust a bit outside

From Reuters Pictures:

Pittsburgh Steelers’ William Gay (22) intercepts a ball in the end zone in front of Cleveland Browns receiver Mohamed Massaquoi (11) in the fourth quarter of their NFL football game in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, on December 8, 2011.

Alternate caption:

The Browns have sunk so low that sideline reports have to use the f**king spelunking machines from Titanic to document it.

From Getty Images:

Jason Worilds #93 of the Pittsburgh Steelers sacks Colt McCoy #12 of the Cleveland Browns at Heinz Field on December 8, 2011 in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Alternate caption:

Pretty sure this is called an Ura Nage.

From Getty Images:

Colt McCoy #12 of the Cleveland Browns lays on the ground while speaking to athletic trainers after a helmet to helmet hit from James Harrison #92 of the Pittsburgh Steelers during the game on December 8, 2011 at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Alternate caption:

Are you sure your face supposed to look like that?

or

who let juventud guerrera be our quarterback

From AP Photo:

Pittsburgh Steelers cornerback William Gay (22) breaks up a pass to Cleveland Browns wide receiver Jordan Norwood (10) as safety Troy Polamalu (43) watches during the second quarter of an NFL football game Thursday, Dec. 8, 2011, in Pittsburgh.

Alternate caption:

hey

From AP Photo:

Cleveland Browns coach Pat Shurmur and Pittsburgh Steelers coach Mike Tomlin shake hands after an NFL football game Thursday, Dec. 8, 2011, in Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh won 14-3.

Alternate caption:

Wait, who are you again?

From Getty Images

Head coach Pat Shurmur of the Cleveland Browns covers his face during the game against the Pittsburgh Steelers on December 8, 2011 at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Alternate caption:

FML

ESPN reported this morning that Cleveland Browns rookie Colt McCoy will make his first career start when the Browns visit the Pittsburgh Steelers on Sunday. High ankle sprains have plagued Jake Delhomme and Seneca Wallace, and since nobody else wants to play in Cleveland, McCoy will get most of the work as the Browns prepare this week. The Browns signed Brett Ratliff to back up McCoy. I have no idea who Brett Ratliff is, but there’s no way he’s any worse than Trent Edwards.

The game will also mark the first 2010 start of one Benjamin Todd Roethlisberger, who was suspended for the first four games of the season for attempting a deep ball on a 20-year-old in a rural Georgia bar restroom. Roethlisberger was never formally charged with the incident. Precedent for this case was established by the Supreme Court case, People v. Half Your Age Plus Seven.

Also reportedly starting Sunday: Bears QB Jay Cutler, against Seattle. It will be Cutler’s first start in two weeks, since being concussed after enduring nine sacks in the first half against the Giants. It makes me wonder how one would perform cognitive testing on a guy that would lose a game of checkers to his own breakfast. Stafford might play, too.

Eric Mangini has never met a quarterback situation he hasn’t wanted to muddle. Following QB Seneca Wallace’s high ankle sprain and Jake Delhomme re-aggravating his high ankle sprain, the Cleveland Browns have signed former backup Brett Ratliff from the Patriots practice squad. Cleveland will most likely start rookie Colt McCoy on Sunday against the Pittsburgh Steelers. During training camp, there was legitimate concern that McCoy wouldn’t even make the final roster. Now he makes his NFL debut on the road against one of the best and most feared defenses in the league.

The viewing will be held at 1:00pm on Sunday, October 17th at Heinz Field in Pittsburgh. Condolences and flower arrangements can be sent to Cleveland Browns Stadium, 1085 W Third St., Cleveland, OH 44114.

Colt McCoy married his longtime girlfriend Rachel Glandorf over the weekend, and the couple was surprised with a personalized serenade by McCoy’s Texas Longhorns teammate Jordan Shipley and country music nobody singer Aaron Watson. The song, entitled “When I Grow Up, I Want to be Like Colt McCoy,” drew laughs with each line as Watson and Shipley shared the twangy crooning duties, but the biggest reaction wasn’t over a line about McCoy or his Baylor track star wife. Nope, the crowd went nuts to a reference to former Florida Gators quarterback Tim Tebow.

As you can see around the 1:49 mark, the line “Gettin’ sick and tired of folks gettin’ fired up, rubbin’ shoulders with Tim Tebow” creates quite the frenzy at McCoy’s wedding reception. Tebow later stopped by the reception to turn the guests’ water into wine and to drop off his present, which was a handmade booklet of Free Circumcision coupons.

McCoy is currently an unsigned draft pick of the Cleveland Browns, and will eventually compete for a spot in the depth chart with Brett Ratliff and Seneca Wallace behind starter and interception machine Jake Delhomme. Shipley, on the other hand, needs about 16 more arrests before he can even be considered a member of the Cincinnati Bengals organization. Oh, and McCoy’s new wife?

Video Source

Texas Longhorns quarterback Colt McCoy proposed to his girlfriend Rachel Glandorf in Texas Stadium earlier this week. Deadspin had photos of the how he did it: he took her into the stadium at night and had the scoreboard operator flash a message on the JumboTron. I would have flashed something else. You know, like my wang. McCoy, seriously here, says his injured shoulder should be ready to go for the upcoming NFL scouting combine in Indianapolis. He’s currently considered optimistically a low first-day pick. Rachel could have done so much better.

McCoy says he thought the clock stopped on a pass out of bounds as soon as it crossed the first-down marker. Had he known the rule, he says, he wouldn’t have floated a long and high pass over the bench area that didn’t touch down until it appeared to hit a railing near the stands.

After McCoy’s pass, the clock hit :00 and the Cornhuskers began to celebrate. But one second was put back on after officials looked at a replay, enough time for Texas to kick the winning field goal. –the monolith.

McCoy didn’t even know that that was in the rulebook. And I only bring this up because Texas might be the worst No. 2 to ever make the national title game since Oklahoma in 2003 to play for the BCS title. Here’s hoping that McCoy throws one more incomplete, and that Nebraska juggernaut Ndamukong Suh–and not McCoy–walks out with the first-ever Heisman Trophy won by an exclusively defensive player.

Skip to the 3:00 mark for the exciting conclusion.

I guess all good things resembling pubic hair on one’s face must come to an end. And so it goes with Texas Longhorns quarterback Colt McCoy, who announced to a public with bated breath that he would be shaving the upper lip apparatus next week, I guess either because (a) he’s afraid the Heisman Trophy committee would shy away from prison bush, or (b) he turned in his Camaro for Cash for Clunkers. Whatever the reason, it certainly was a wonderful, mustachioed journey. Farewell, magical face dust. We hardly knew ye. via.

McCoy: All right, well, I called up some buddies and we went spotlightin’. We went huntin’, basically.

Van Pelt: Wait, you’re talking to two city guys here. What the heck is spotlighting?

McCoy: It’s basically where you get a spotlight, and you just kind of look for varmints and –

Van Pelt: Varmints? Possums? Armadillos?

McCoy: Yeah, armadillos, anything really. You just have to go out there and shoot stuff to get all this anger out.

And to think I wasted what little time I spent in Austin drinking on Sixth Street and listening to live music.  Apparently I missed out on the college experience in Texas.

Yesterday, Texas quarterback Colt McCoy was named the AP’s Big 12 offensive player of the year.  The AP also bestowed the conference best offensive player by granting him to second-team All-Big 12 honors.  The AP decided that Oklahoma’s Sam Bradford was the best quarterback in the conference, even better than the best offensive player, another quarterback.

Texas Tech quarterback Graham Harrell was the only other quarterback to get a vote from the 20 voters who decided the AP’s Big 12 all-conference teams. Harrell picked up four votes — one for first team and three for second team. Thus, the race swung on whether Harrell voters picked McCoy or Bradford as their second choice.

Nice explanation.  Don’t care.  Still gay.

Side note: The best QBs in the Big 12 — McCoy, Bradford, Harrell, and Mizzou’s Chase Daniel — are collectively better than the quarterbacks in the NFC North.