"Oh no, they're showing Guys with Kids commercials?"

Despite being a nation still celebrating the all-natural and not-at-all-staged marriage of Kim Jung-Un to former singer Ri Sol Ju, who clearly loves him for his looks and personality, all was not well yesterday for the people of North Korea. It seems that some no-good Westerner at the 2012 Summer Olympics in London showed the outside world’s bias as the North Korean women’s soccer team took the field for its first match against Colombia.

As the players were introduced, they refused to take the field, because the video screen in the stadium showed their pictures next to a South Korean flag. This, of course, is unsettling for them because they are eternally at war with those democracy-loving infidels to the south. If Kim Jong-Il saw this, he’d be spinning in his grave. Screw that, he is spinning in his grave, because he’s the best dead person ever.

“Yes, we were angry because our players were introduced as if they are from South Korea, something that may affect us very greatly as you might know,” North Korea coach Sin Ui-Gun said.

“Winning the game cannot compensate this. It is a different matter. We hope there is no repeat in the next matches,” he added. (Via ABC News)

And win they did, as the North Koreans defeated Colombia 2-0. They can act outraged all they want, but this is a fantastic opportunity for the North Koreans to use this as a driving force. As for NBC, this is also a fantastic marketing tool. In order to make sure this doesn’t happen again, why not replace every country’s flag with some marketing tools for our favorite shows that are crapping in the ratings every week?

Just a thought, NBC…

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Call me crazy, but when I hear the country Colombia mentioned in the same sentence with “viral” I get a bit nervous and start stocking my plague shelter, but thankfully this just refers to marketing. Women from across Colombia took to the streets of Medellin this week to promote the inaugural Miss Pole Dance Colombia competition, which will take place on July 30. I can only hope that this enthusiasm marks the beginning of two months of non-stop daily pole dancing in the streets of Colombia. Someone needs to set the right global example.

Much like the pole dancers that we’ve previously showcased here on With Boner Leather, these Colombian women are promoting the activity as a form of exercise that can help women get in shape and feel great about themselves while building their sexual confidence. I may have added that last part just to keep everyone’s attention. And it’s not even all about physical fitness, it’s about science, too.

“The hardest part in urban pole dancing is finding a structure with a good caliber,” Tsai said. “Usually, dancing poles have a diameter of 1.75 to two inches. Apart from the caliber, the material in street structures can make the job harder. Dancing poles are made from stainless steel or brass, which facilitates the friction you need to have between your skin and the surface.” (AOL Weird News)

It also helps if the women measure the poles from the floor and not just the base because some people have a differing opinion on actual pole length and I think that we should discuss this before we start laughing at people and making them feel like they have a small pole, OK?

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On Sunday, as the Junior Barranquilla soccer team was defeating Pereira 2-1 in the fourth game of the Liga Postobon, an owl landed on the field after being struck by a ball, and Pereira’s Luis Moreno kicked the bird. Even worse, the owl is Junior Barranquilla’s official mascot and good luck charm, so I’m sure the team went apesh*t and taught him a lesson, right? Nope. They gave him a stern, “What the heck, man?” Probably because Moreno is a pretty big dude.

As fans shouted in protest and chanted “Murderer” at Moreno, the bird was simply cleared from the field and taken to a zoo for treatment. Luckily, the bird is fine and I don’t have to worry about getting my barbed wire baseball bat through Customs for a little trip down to Bogota for avian justice. So what then of Moreno’s despicable act? How does the man with no corazon feel?

“I apologize to the fans, it wasn’t my intention, I did it to see if the owl could fly,” said Moreno after the game, which he left amid a heavy police guard. The Pereira player explained he did it to rid the field of the bird as quickly as possible. (Via Columbia Reports)

The problem with that excuse is that people have eyes, and they use those eyes to watch video footage of people kicking injured owls. If Moreno felt any concern, he sure has a strange way of showing it. Needless to say, animal groups are furious over Moreno’s treatment of the mascot, and they’re calling on the Colombian government to take serious action. And action will be swiftly dealt, friends. Mainly because the country has no animal abuse laws, so Moreno won’t be punished. Viva justicia!

Video after the jump…

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A copy of the World Cup trophy was seized at the Bogota Airport in Colombia. The contents? You guessed it, cocaine. The trophy was a replica of the real one, and was meant to be sold as a souvenir. Too bad Colombia isn’t even in the World Cup this year, and hasn’t even qualified for the group stage since 1998.

A life-size replica of the World Cup was seized at the Bogota Airport in Colombia when it was found to be made of cocaine. The gold statue was coming from Madrid. –USAToday

Colombian soccer and cocaine have a long, and tragic history. The 1994 squad, arguably the best in the team’s history, felt extreme pressure from cocaine dealers who had bet on the team’s performance. The team’s poor performance that year lead to a player’s murder. Putting blow in the trophy the victim was desperate to win seems less than tact.

My thoughts exactly, Puppet LeBron.

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Here’s Colombian gymnast Jessica Gil Ortiz, whose last name literally translated means, “Head Bounce Ortiz.” And she lives up to her billing right around the 0:35 mark, followed by what has to be the most bizzare ovation for a neck injury since the end of Michael Irvin’s career. This video alone should be reason enough to hold the Olympics in Philadelphia. The figure skating alone would make for some of the greatest crazy fan videos ever. Thanks, Buck.

A soccer riot in Cali which I suppose is unusual in that it wasn't a drug riot. Although when you're the capital of a cocaine cartel, your citizens probably get pretty excited about everything. Supporters of America de Cali thought there should have been a penalty called in the 82nd minute while supporters of Deportivo de Cali disagreed. 18 people were stabbed and 80 injured in the ensuing melee: 

You call that a riot? My fellow South Side Irishmen and I call that a parade. -KD

{Free green beer for 100& Injury Rate.}