We’ve already made a case for Andy Reid, who couldn’t manage a clock if it was jammed into a serving of chicken marsala. But here are four other coaches, college and pro, who have come up short in their respective 2009 campaigns.

Eric Mangini, Cleveland Browns. Some people can step into a new organization and sling their dick anywhere they want, because as long as the team wins, they’re cool. But unlike Josh McDaniels in Denver–who was taking over an underperforming playoff-caliber team, Mangini hasn’t delivered the results that were expected from such dickery, and he’s likely to be a one-and-done coach as the Browns seem to be heading backward. Again.

2009 Wins: One, a 6-3 puntfest against Buffalo. And Buffalo sucks.

Charlie Weis, Notre Dame. The man who brought “FUPA” into the blogger lexicon, Weis might be the only coach in America with a signature loss, the Bush Push game in 2005. Weis was expected to have a chance to run the table in 2009, but he’s already lost three games (including losing to Navy at home on Saturday) with three to play.

2009 Wins: Six, with only two (Nevada, Washington State) by more than seven points.

Rich Rodriguez, Michigan. Charlie Weis with about half the calories. This is the only guy that would leave the Maize-and-Blue faithful pining for the days of Lloyd Carr. DickRod and Michigan seem to fit like OJ Simpson and those gloves, but with all the money they’re paying that guy, one might expect for this divorce to be even bloodier.

2009 Wins: Five, with all but one (Indiana) against non-conference teams, including a 63-6 drubbing of Delaware State. Awesome.

ASYLUM POLL: Who’s the worst coach in all of football today?

Back in the day, a Division I-A football team could finish undefeated and have a chance to win at least a piece of the national championship. No longer. The Boise State Broncos, who haven’t lost a regular season game since 2007, seemed to have gained a sniff when Oregon (who the Broncos beat in their opener) beat USC last Saturday. Instead, sportswriters gushed over Oregon’s conquest of a name program, one that can’t seem to get through its own conference without a loss, let alone its entire schedule. Even TCU seems to be getting the cachet that seems to elude Boise State.

So what can they do? Well they hired a PR firm to try and keep the buzz going. But what about their schedule? Yeah, Boise State can’t even get a road game with anybody.

The Broncos are not asking for a return game in Boise. Just one road game. And about 10 teams have turned the Broncos down, according to [WAC commissioner Karl] Benson.

“They’re running into a situation where nobody will schedule them, nobody will take them,” Benson told the Statesman’s Chadd Cripe. –Idaho Statesman.

The mindset is obvious: even a single loss in the regular season is too costly for any program. Well, any program except Boise State, whose 6 WAC titles seem to hang around their necks like medals from the Special Olympics. But I don’t blame the BCS–I blame the idealistic sportswriters that took time out of fellating Notre Dame to knock the Broncos from 5th to 8th in both human polls after blowing out Hawaii. It’s like Boise State has BCS AIDS, which would make a great toll-free hotline if anyone out there is feeling entrepreneurious at the moment. Yeah, that’s a word now. I spent the last week growing it in my dictionarium. Get over it.

Texas Tech football coach Mike Leach assembles a restaurant-quality rant here, discussing the temperament of his players and how they managed to get utterly destroyed by Texas A&M last week.

“As coaches, we failed to make our coaching points and our points more compelling than their fat little girlfriends. Now, their fat little girlfriends have some obvious advantages. For one thing, their fat little girlfriends are telling them what they want to hear, which is how great [they] are, and how it’s easy it’s gonna be. We had a whole bunch of people that wanted to win the football game, but nobody wanted to play the football game.”

Leach goes on to promise that some of his players will be “inconvenienced” as they prepared to host Kansas tomorrow. No fat little girlfriends were available for comment. Thanks, Brent

So Nike made up these new Penn State shirts and suddenly all of the treehuggers are in an uproar because the front of the shirt kinda sorta resembles a cross. And I’m glad someone called them out on this, because if anyone has been peddling a Neo-conservative agenda for too long in this country, it’s Nike.

Michal Berns, a junior majoring in media law and policy, said she refused to buy the $15 shirt because of its religious connotations. “At first glance, you don’t necessarily think that’s what it looks like, but when you look at it more, it does look like a cross,” Berns told Foxnews.com. “That’s the reason I didn’t purchase it.”[..]

“Me personally, I’m not going to buy the shirts and I know others at [Penn State Hillel] who won’t, either.” –Fox News.

Lighten up, Mikey. Did you ever think that maybe they’re just paying homage to the Finnish? Plain white t-shirts suck anyway, so I’m glad that they at least decided to put a racing stripe on the front. The same stripe that one might find on Penn State’s helmets, no less. Besides, a prayer is the only shot that Penn State has at this point of reaching the BCS Title Game, which is still better than any hope Boise State has. Do I have to wait for some freak in Idaho to compare their blue turf to walking on water? Jesus… –Deadspin, Best Week Ever.

Here’s another solid video of a running back breaking into a defensive back’s house and drinking his milk straight from the carton. The offending party is Georgia Tech’s Jonathan Dwyer, and this defensive back from Virginia gets his business owned so badly that he doesn’t even deserve a name anymore. How has Virginia been so terrible for so long? It probably has something to do with the fact that Charlottesville is so desolate, you have to drive for an hour before you even get to Nowhere. That’s great if you’re a reclusive former president. Not so much if you’re an 18-year-old kid looking to get his junk wet on the weekend.

Helmet sticker goes to Taylor for sending this in.

We didn’t get to this yesterday (we didn’t finish the photo edit in time) but the comment that Bob Griese made about Juan Pablo Montoya “out having a taco” seemed so innocuous that it wasn’t even worthy of mention. ESPN thought otherwise–and suspended Griese for a week.

ESPN spokesman Josh Krulewitz says Griese will not be working a game this week. Krulewitz says ESPN has spoken to Griese and “he understands the comment was inappropriate.” –AP, sent in by Oliver.

And on Hispanic Heritage Month, too! But then again, it’s also “Breast Awareness Month” and “Apathy Toward Barely Racist Remarks Month.” I mean, Montoya’s Colombian, and he’s already said that he doesn’t care. You’d have to, like, steal that guy’s cocaine to really get him upset…What?