It’s a lot of fun being an American sports fan, because we complain about pretty much everything there is to complain about, and when we finally get what we want, we complain even more. Case in point – the NCAA has given us a brand new College Football Playoff system, and with it four new logos to choose from. Fans have until Monday to vote on one of four proposed logos, and so far the consensus seems to be that they all flat out suck.

Now, those are random people’s words who may not exist and not mine. I think the logos are okay. Nah, who am I kidding? I’m the one who thinks all four options suck. I tried to make it seem like other people hate them, but I’m just speaking for me. There, it feels good to be honest.

But because I don’t like to crap all over something without offering my own alternative, I have actually made a College Football Playoff logo that the NCAA can add to the voting contest at no charge, except for the small fee that I’ve included after the jump.

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Last week, we discussed Giancarlo Guida, the Auburn grad and former Tigers rugby player who had a massive tattoo of Toomer’s Corner inked on his back, as that was one diehard fan’s way of saying goodbye to those iconic oak trees that were so heinously murdered by Alabama fan Harvey Updyke, Jr. And as Updyke prepares for his upcoming jail stint, thousands of Auburn students, alumni and fans gathered on campus over the weekend to pay their final tributes and respects to the trees by “rolling” them one more time.

Basically, people toilet papered the hell out of the dead and dying branches, as had long been a school tradition. Now, though, it will likely be replaced by simply using the toilet paper for wiping butts. In fact, can we talk about that for a second? When I was in college, I had to lock up my toilet paper because it was more valuable than gold. Yet here are all of these people just throwing it around like it’s nothing. Perhaps it’s just the sign of different times, but in my day we wouldn’t have been so wasteful.

Sure, there’s also an absurd irony in decorating dead trees by wasting paper, but this is sports and people are idiots when it comes to college football. So celebrate with the Auburn fans on… Earth Day? Geez.

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Behold, the glorious first pitch of Heisman Trophy winner Johnny Manziel.

“Every person kept saying, ‘Don’t bounce it, don’t bounce it,’” Manziel said, according to USA Today. “I was wild, a little nervous.”

Maybe he could look into being Johnny Basketball? I just want the guy to have another sports last name. I want to call him Johnny Two-Sports. And then I want to get Dick Tracy to arrest him.

The USA Today article goes on to helpfully explain how Johnny actually played a little high school baseball, and wore Derek Jeter’s number 2 because of course he did.

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Photo credit: Everywhere On The Internet

If you missed this yesterday, it’s a photo of Texas A&M quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner Johnny “Football” Manziel sporting a suspicious-looking Texas Longhorns tattoo on his ribcage. Your first thought is, “this can’t be, Johnny Football would never get the Longhorns logo tattooed on his body!” Your second thought should probably be, “well, I don’t know, it IS Johnny Football, and it’s not like the rest of his tattoos are high art.” If you told me “Johnny Manziel has a butterfly with a tiger’s face in the wings tattooed on the back of his neck” I’d probably believe you.

Anyway, Johnny wrote an impassioned explanation of the situation in the editorial section of yesterday’s New Yorker, professing his love for the Aggies and promising his fans that he’ll never … wait, sorry, I got my notes mixed up. He did this:

Of course, Twitter has two ends (the asshole and the other asshole), so the conversation didn’t end there. Some fans (“fans”) started being Twitter People to Johnny about the photo, and because John Football is the type to register for online classes to avoid going to college with other college students, he handled it delicately.

Here are a few of his interactions with the world of Trollgaze:

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Because people love to act outraged at everything, TMZ thought it was so shocking and incredible that Texas A&M quarterback and Heisman Trophy winner Johnny Manziel was photographed partying after he led the Aggies to a victory in the Cotton Bowl to cap their remarkable 11-2 season. Then people began raising eyebrows and calling shenanigans when Manziel was spotted courtside at several NBA games, and of course we’ve all been well aware that Johnny Football is dating aspiring model and perfectly-named WWE Diva heel Sarah Savage.

Well, all of that attention has now made it impossible for Manziel to focus on the one thing he actually attends Texas A&M for – making the school millions of dollars for winning games attending class.

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Being a fan of a college football team that puts more stock in stupid things like “graduating student athletes” and “focusing on educations”, I rarely pay attention to recruiting classes. Hell, half the time I can’t even count high enough to find my team on ESPN’s annual recruiting rankings. But to a lot of other people, National Signing Day is like Christmas, except instead of presents under a tree, they’re getting 17- and 18-year old boys. It’s as creepy as it is exciting.

However, the one thing I love to look out for is the rare signing of freak athletes, who are either amazingly, incredibly gifted for their age or are well beyond the expectations of size and strength. I believe I have found my favorite athlete of the 2013 college football recruiting extravaganza in new University of Hawaii running back David Fangupo.

While the Kealakehe High School senior’s numbers weren’t very impressive – 75 carries for 534 yards and 6 TD – his physical numbers are what attract the most attention. He’s 6-2 and 350-pounds. A running back! Eat your heart out, adolescent Andy Reid.

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