Wyoming coach Dave Christensen wants his team to be fast. How fast, you ask? So fast that he’s willing to spend all day in photoshop to illustrate it.
The problem is that Dave isn’t exactly a photoshop wizard, so the 2013 Wyoming Cowboys will have to settle for being motivated by an extended gag from an Ashley Burns post. Ladies and gentlemen, behold, auteur Dave Christensen’s masterpiece FastNFurious 13: All Roads Lead To The Endzone.
Texas A&M quarterback and eventual Buffalo Bill Johnny Manziel found a winning formula with trainer George Whitfield last year, as the 20-year old became the first freshman to ever win the Heisman Trophy. Between his own success and that of his new best bro AJ McCarron, who led Alabama to another BCS Championship, there’s not a pair of camouflage cargo shorts in the country that isn’t filled with wonder as to whether Manziel can lead the Aggies all the way this year.
Well, courtside seats and night club VIP sections be damned, because Manziel and Whitfield are hard at work on an encore, as they’ve been battling the waves in Southern California this week as part of his intense workouts. Of course, it can’t be all work and no play, because that makes Johnny Football a dull boy. So the young slinger stopped by yesterday’s Padres-Nationals game at Petco Park, where he was able to meet fellow A&M alum and Nats manager Davey Johnson before taking in some batting practice.
Manziel homered, naturally, because he’s a f*cking winner, bro.
In today’s ADD social media news feed climate, even the biggest stories of the year can come and go in a matter of days. That’s why in the wake of Jason Collins, Manti T’eo, ESPN’s Tim Tebow love affair, Titus Young’s wild week, etc. etc., it feels to me like the Jerry Sandusky/Penn State scandal happened a decade ago. But it wasn’t even one year ago that Sandusky was found guilty of 45 of 48 charges in his sexual abuse trial, and there are still three former Penn State administrators awaiting their trials, despite their best efforts to have their cases tossed.
Naturally, the news still lingers in the hearts and minds of PSU alumni, students and football fans, so it makes sense that they would all still have many questions about how everything went down. And where there are questions, there are conspiracies like, say, Joe Paterno still being alive. At least that’s one man’s theory, according to a letter received by ESPN’s Bob Ley.
Lana. LANA!
Sports On TV is in the Danger Zone.
Our look at the best sports moments from shows that aren’t necessarily about sports takes on FX’s ‘Archer’ this week, and if there’s a show the kids at UPROXX love more than ‘Archer,’ I’d like to see it. Inside, you’ll find one of the most clever, obscure, expertly-written shows on television. You’ll also find lacrosse jokes about rock bands from the 1990s, a guy trying to play baseball in space, Ultimate Bum Shock Fights (which are exactly what they sound like), Siamese fighting fish, and more.
So please click through and-or enjoy Sports On TV: ‘Archer’s’ 15 greatest sports moments.
In what continues to be my go-to feel-better story of the year, 7-year old Jack Hoffman is still riding the high of becoming the Nebraska Cornhuskers’ biggest star football player in the program’s long, storied history. (Obviously, I’ve crossed out the Bill Callahan era with a thick, black Magic Marker.) Jack, of course, is the young brain cancer patient who ran for a 69-yard touchdown during the team’s recent spring game, and that was followed up by Upper Deck creating his very own trading card.
Yesterday, Jack and his family got to visit the White House and meet with President Barack Obama for about 15 minutes to talk about the boy’s incredible spring.
Quarterbacking is serious business, especially when you’re a junior in college. So when your teammates fall over like fainting goats to prank you because they think it’d be funny, you gotta SPIKE THAT BALL and RUN AWAY.
That’s what Bryn Renner did. Brynner. He became a reasonable level of enraged when his teammates tried to have fun, took off his helmet, ran downfield and refused to high-five any of them when he went back into the huddle. You see, Brynner is not here to play games. If you’re going to be a goat in Bryn Renner’s presence, you’d better be a goat on all four legs goddammit.
The clip:
