Having attended quite a few baseball games at Conrad Park in beautiful DeLand, Florida – where the man with the newest model El Camino is king – I can tell you with great certainty that Stetson Hatters fans take their baseball quite seriously. After all, baseball and (every once in a while) basketball are all that Stetson has had ever since its football program decided to take a dirt nap back in 1957. But with football poised to return this year, the baseball program might as well enjoy the popularity while it can.

And judging by this first pitch from Tuesday’s night’s game against Florida State, Stetson fans have already long forgotten about baseball and, more specifically, how to throw one. We’ve previously discussed the finer aspects of what I believe is the art of throwing out the first pitch at a baseball game, but the one thing that I will always impress upon those given the opportunity is to not act like a total douche caboose before you throw the pitch, unless you are absolutely confident that it’ll be a strike.

Because otherwise you’ll look like this goober and there’s no recovery from the bro shame that will be laid upon a man after this kind of performance. Shame this man, Stetson bros. Shame him good.

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University of Nebraska at Omaha’s Tyler Splichal has perfected an (apparently) legal way to avoid being tagged in a rundown: drop to your belly and take out the catcher’s legs. One day a runner’s gonna roundhouse kick the catcher in the face and baseball historians will be all, “oh yeah that’s totally within the rules, surprised more people don’t do it.” (via Bob’s Blitz)

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Links

This Is What Happens When You Leave A Camera On Your Car At Bonnaroo |UPROXX|

Here’s The First Photo From The Final Eight Episodes Of ‘Breaking Bad.’ Everybody Freak Out. |Warming Glow|

They made another trailer for The Internship, and they forgot to put in jokes again |Film Drunk|

George H.W. Bush Hung Out With The Houston Texans Cheerleaders, Did Not Fandango |With Leather|

Let’s Celebrate Superman’s 75th Anniversary With Cosplay |Gamma Squad|

Florida Woman Arrested For “Violently Yanking” Boyfriend’s Penis |Smoking Section|

Ravens At Broncos Is The Season Opener |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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I’d like to start off by saying that this is my favorite story of this year.

As an avid viewer of Ghost Hunters, I do not so much believe in ghosts as much as I believe in the hilarity of people who believe in ghosts and those who accept “Ghost Hunter” as an actual profession. That said, some Iowa Hawkeyes baseball players recently had a “Paranormal Activity Support Team” examine their house because some strange things had been happening, and they believe that they actually have two ghosts occupying their old home.

[Trevor] Kenyon, along with five other members of the Iowa baseball team and one club hockey player, recently learned they might not be the only ones living in their house on North Dubuque Street. A local paranormal-investigating task force claims to have confirmed the residents have two spirits in their house. One, an older, grandfatherly figure — whom the guys have named “Tim” — roams the halls and rooms of the three-story house. Another, a younger girl, stays put in one particular room of the house.

“We’ve lived here over the past two years,” junior pitcher Aaron Smit said. “But over the past few months, we noticed things getting a little bit weird. We had a kid in here who thought he saw a ghost — a shadow in a form of a human.” (Via the Daily Iowan)

And so goes the same old story that people usually tell, including things moving around in the night, strange noises and even a creepy old man showing up to tell these whipper snappers to run, “THIS PLACE IS HAUNTED, THERE BE SPIRITS IN THESE HALLS!” or something to that effect.

But forget all of that nonsense, because the lede has been buried in this fantastic tale of the dark side.

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ESPN sideline reporter Jenn Brown took batting practice with the South Carolina Gamecocks baseball team at the College World Series recently, and if you’ve never seen the former Florida Gators softball player take a cut, it’s a thing of beauty. Lost Letterman compares her to Ichiro. Not sure I’d go that far, but it’s close. At the very least she looks a lot better swinging a bat than Rachel Nichols would.

She even gives switch-hitting a try, but just like me, she’s better from the left than the right. Unlike me, she hits most of the balls thrown her way, and she never does that thing where she pretends like her wrists are hurting and that’s why she’s not doing well.

If that’s not enough to make you watch the video, here’s the hard sell from South Carolina coach Ray Tanner:

“She’s got a really nice swing; really nice swing. Technique, fluid, and she’s got better wheels than anyone we’ve got,” Tanner said. “She’s a step faster than Tanner English. She’s got nice wheels. Have you ever seen her run?”

Video is after the jump.

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This season, Coastal Carolina outfielder Alex Buccilli is batting .313 with 3 home runs and 20 runs batted in. How has he achieved such success at the plate? By holding in his sh*ts so long his ass nearly touches the ground.

At least that’s my theory. By way of Busted Coverage comes ESPN3′s favorite new batting stance, the Craig Counsell-infuriating pop-a-squat of Buccilli. Seriously, look at this thing:

He should just sit in the batters box and swing from the ground, or carry in a stool or something and swing from that.

On second thought, carrying in stool might be how he got in this stance in the first place.

With Leather has already started reporting about Alison Brie, so we’ll continue the gradual change into Warming Glow with a little “Game of Thrones.” Watch in rapture (or mild enjoyment, depending on how old you are) as Radford University and High Point entertain themselves during a rain delay by literally jousting. Not that American Gladiators pugil stick on a platform thing, I’m talking “ride a horse toward someone and try to stab them to the ground” jousting. I’m just sad that neither team had a horse mascot to make it official. I’m pretty sure Radford’s mascot is Chong from “Up in Smoke.”

There are two great ways to tell that this happened with college players.

1) Nobody rushed out to fine and suspend them, and
2) The guy who lost the joust got up laughing and was fine, and didn’t have to go on the DL for another six months because his body is held together by congealed IV fluids.

Now that we’re jousting, we need to organize some San Diego Chicken fights.

[H/T No Guts No Glory]