As I wrote yesterday, I’m a one-man Spring Break party this week, celebrating some of my favorite moments of debauchery and youthful indiscretions all this week. Today, we’re taking a trip all the way back to 2004, for a dance competition that gets a little out of control for one young couple.

Dayna had saved up almost three months of her part-time pay from the Piercing Pagoda to make sure that this was the craziest Spring Break of her life. The single mother of a 3-year old son, Dayna has never been able to enjoy a Spring Break, well, unless you count the weekend adventure in Cocoa Beach that led to little Sisqo’s conception. Fortunately, Dayna’s mom agreed to take her grandson in for a few days, since her boyfriend and Ratt cover band frontman, Trent, got locked up for selling Percocets to Deltona high schoolers again.

Dayna and her best friend Bev loaded up her ’89 Dodge Caravan and hit the road for Daytona Beach, where a room at the Desert Inn was screaming their names. They didn’t have a lot time to waste, so it was straight to Razzle’s for the world famous Thursday Night Throwdown dance competition that let lucky couples shake their groove thangs for a shot at $300, matching Corona thongs and a week’s worth of Billy Boy condoms.

There was just one problem – Dayna didn’t have a dance partner! Whatever would she do?

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In honor of bros and babes across the U.S. taking breaks from their studies and racking up student loans that will cripple them financially for the next 10 years, I’ll be celebrating Great Moments in Spring Break History all week long with videos of totally awesome Spring Break moments that may or may not have gone as expected. Today’s video is a frozen drink chugging contest that probably ended one woman’s vacation early.

Alyssa and the ADPi’s were super stoked about spending Spring Break 2010 in Cancun, you guys, because their trip to Freeport in 2009 was totally ruined when Shannyn and Madyson were arrested for buying weed from those local guys they thought were Omegas. Alyssa was especially excited to be partying with the girls ever since she caught Chad cheating on her with that Pi Phi slut in the back of his dad’s 5 series. It was truly a trip for the ages.

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Some day Lamar Odom is going to have to be honest about his marriage, and thanks to some scientists in the United Kingdom, he just lost his biggest excuse. Smart bros at Durham University – go Bulls! – have released a very important study that may forever stick a dagger in the heart of the Beer Goggles theory.

According to some big words and fancy science talk, chasing 3’s and 4’s at last call can no longer be blamed on blurred vision and tricks of the mind, and instead can all be written off as just plain, old bein’ horny.

Study author psychologist Dr. Amanda Ellison said that alcohol doesn’t make people look more attractive, it just increases their level of lust.

“There is no imagined physical transformation, just more desire,” Allison said, according to MSNnow.com. “Alcohol switches off the rational and decision-making areas of the brain while leaving the areas to do with sexual desire relatively intact.” (Via the HuffPo)

Look, I know I’m gonna catch some crap for this at the next BRO meeting, but I have to interject in this stupid, stupid, STUPID waste of time and money. I mean, there are doctors out there who are doing important things, like curing toddlers of AIDS and making beer with higher alcohol percentages. But these limey quacks? They’re just telling us what we already know and slapping “SCIENCE” on it in big red letters.

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My apologies for the sudden upswing in college stories involving horny coeds, but the masses have been demanding more college news and I am here to deliver. The latest in downright stunning revelations is that – and brace yourselves for this – young college girls with no money are apparently trying to find wealthier older men to be their “sugar daddies”. I mean, can you even? What do you think about this, Nicki Minaj?

My thoughts exactly.

But don’t be too shocked, because as much as these attractive young ladies are basically looking to sell their dignities to the devil for some spending money, the rich, old men are lining up to pay them for it. In fact, the website SeekingArrangement.com, which caters to both parties in this sordid equation by bringing them together, has some statistics that may very well blow your minds.

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