This season, Coastal Carolina outfielder Alex Buccilli is batting .313 with 3 home runs and 20 runs batted in. How has he achieved such success at the plate? By holding in his sh*ts so long his ass nearly touches the ground.

At least that’s my theory. By way of Busted Coverage comes ESPN3′s favorite new batting stance, the Craig Counsell-infuriating pop-a-squat of Buccilli. Seriously, look at this thing:

He should just sit in the batters box and swing from the ground, or carry in a stool or something and swing from that.

On second thought, carrying in stool might be how he got in this stance in the first place.

David Bennett, head coach of the Coastal Carolina Chanticleers, believes that his players should be less like cats and more like dogs. Cats get confused about a one-way screen door because they’re too busy looking in the mirror, making sure they have the proper amount of sweatbands and making non-stop cat noises. Dogs, inversely, lie somewhere in another part of the house, barking. At least I think that’s what this insane asshole is trying to say, watch for yourself.

For a guy who hates cats, he sure is pretending to be a cat a lot.

This video comes to us from Sportress of Blogitude by way of Off The Bench, and I think it might be one of those things everyone should experience despite no one being able to provide context. It’s like listening to the last half of your crazy Uncle’s story without hearing the beginning. You know there’s a cat in the house, and you know there’s a dog, and there’s a guy named Mel, but he might also be a dog, because … I don’t know.

Anyway, here’s a video of the last Chanticleers game.

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