Tim Tebow has played for two head coaches since 2006. They’re currently both out of work, albeit for sharply different reasons. Tebow’s pro coach, Josh McDaniels, was unceremoniously ousted before he could even finish his second season with the Denver Broncos. The quarterback’s college coach, Urban Meyer, just announced today that he was retiring for reasons unrelated to his health scare from a year ago. Lemme guess…spending time with his family?

“I have been a Division I football coach for the last 25 years and, during that time, my primary focus has been making a difference in the lives of the young men I have been so fortunate to have coached and building championship programs,” Meyer said in a statement. “At this time in my life, however, I fully grasp the sacrifices my 24/7 profession has demanded of me, and I know it is time to put my focus on my family and life away from the field.

–FanHouse.

Meanwhile, McDaniels was ousted by Broncos owner Pat Bowlen on Monday afternoon, partly because of his acquisition of Tebow–considered undraftable by many teams–with the 25th overall pick in the 2010 draft last April. And now Tebow might be on his way out of Denver as well, because obviously he causes nothing but heartache and strife everywhere he goes. Dang you, Tebow. Dang you to heck.

Jon Gruden might return to an NFL sideline, but according to a very close source, it won’t be for another year. Deuce Gruden (which I’m assuming is just short for Jon Gruden, Jr.) might have given away his dad’s potential future coaching plans over the weekend.

The former Tampa Bay Buccaneers head coach who was traded away from the Oakland Raiders in 2002 (only to beat them in the Super Bowl a year later) reportedly will seek another job in the League 2012, after Deuce finishes high school, according to his son’s remarks on the Sporting Rave podcast. Gruden seems to have his heart set on San Francisco, “and maybe Cleveland.” Yeah, that’s how most of us feel about Cleveland.

And yeah, this could have been a teenage kid talking out of his ass, but it’s still a notable take on a guy who’s probably the hottest “name” head coaching candidate on the market right now. Plus the kid’s name is Deuce. Hey, Deuce, got any good tips on penny stocks? I can see that email spam now. “THIS STOCK! I call it The Boomerang, because of its amazing returns!” Hey, that’s good stuff.

Mike Zimmer is a sentimental favorite in Cincinnati. He sadly lost his wife to cancer last season and the team rallied around him. His defense last season helped push the Bengals to the AFC North title, and he’s near-universally praised as a good coach and a good guy. Just don’t ask him about Bobby Petrino, who now runs Arkansas’s football program in the SEC. Zimmer was on Petrino’s staff during his very short run with the Atlanta Falcons, a job that Petrino famously left without so much as notifying any of his assistants.

“He’s a gutless bastard. Quote that. I don’t give a s—,” Zimmer said Wednesday, according to Joe Reedy of the Cincinnati Enquirer.

When Zimmer was told that [a] responsible news organization may not be able to use “bastard,” Zimmer responded:

“How about this, gutless MF. You can use that.” via PFT.

I can’t help but admire a man that doesn’t mince words, but honestly, what sort of company out there is shying away from the word “bastard?” It’s not like kids are even reading news sites these days anyway. They’re all snorting cough syrup and reading Harry Potter books watching Harry Potter movies. They’re all bastards. Believe it or not I’m really good with kids. I was VP of personnel when I worked out of the Nike “office” in Indonesia.

This is the beautifully named coach of minor league hockey’s Abbotsford Heat, Jim Playfair, and you’re about to watch him lose his mind. This video is still making the rounds, and now you can also enjoy it here. Roll to the 2:50-ish mark of the video after the jump, and then watch the best reason to never be an ice hockey referee. Or a composite hockey stick. I like the wooden sticks better, personally. It’s hard to play when it feels like you’re carrying around a curtain rod. Read the rest of this entry »

Al Davis, that cranky old bastard that still owns the Oakland Raiders, seems more than content to let his head coach twist in the wind. Reports indicate that Cable has been meeting with Davis throughout the week, pleading to keep his job. Whatever that means. Cable’s a bit of a push right now: he punched out a member of his coaching staff early in the season, but somehow managed to win five games with a roster that included JaMarcus Russell.

But now Davis is interviewing assistant coaches, even as Cable’s fate remains undecided, and that’s something I never really understood. Why not let the guy pick his own staff? Why would Davis allow Cable to build the infrastructure to succeed? Because he’s Al Davis, whose withered face is only matched by his atrophied football acumen. Davis seems content on showing Cable who’s boss, which is interesting, because a five-win season hardly has the makings of a coup.

But if you thought the Chan Gailey hiring in Buffalo was garbage (and it was), wait to see what Davis does with Tom Cable. Because Davis’ Napoleonic ways will allow him to drop that coach’s headset on whomever he damn well pleases. The sad thing is that, as the staffs of competent teams look to bring on new assistants, Cable remains stuck in Oakland, seemingly powerless to improve his own destiny. But as Tom Cable remains resigned to his fate, Oakland seems oblivious to its own. Is it a good marriage if both people are equally miserable? If you’re crazy, it doesn’t really matter.

This makes me so goddamned mad that I could just spit. An IrishCentral.com report says that Cincinnati Bearcats head coach Brian Kelly will be packing his bags and heading to South Bend.

The source, who is a well-informed person of influence at Notre Dame, says the Cincinnati coach is the preferred choice for the job, and that he is expected to eventually sign a deal.

Kelly is expected to see out the season with his [BCS-bound] team, and then report for duty at South Bend.

As a Cincinnati-area native, this is almost heartbreaking. I know, I know, who’s a douchebag with two thumbs…save it. The Bearcats used to be so bad that if you wanted basketball tickets, they made you buy football tickets. And the team–who will finish the regular season if they beat Pittsburgh this weekend–was poised for perennial kickassedness. And now this.

But know this. The rest of the college football world needs to watch out, because this prick can win anywhere. This is the beginning of the end for Notre Dame suckitude, soon to be followed by the end of a new beginning. And then there’s probably a middle portion in there someplace.