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Photoshop Challenge: Come At Bane, Bro - That pose still makes me think people should be photoshopping him into Moonwalker. I really don’t want Zoidberg-face Bane to be the Venom of the Batman movie franchise. [UPROXX]

Louis C.K.’s Advice To Young People - The world would be a lot better if we listened to him more, and listened less to Jim Gaffigan. [UPROXX]

7 New and Returning January Shows You Should Seek Out and 7 You Should Avoid - Avoid: basically everything debuting in January. Seek out: Venture Bros. DVDs. [Warming Glow]

5 Reasons You Shouldn’t Buy a PS Vita - #6. Portable gaming is for babies and yeah, Patapon is pretty awesome when you’re in line at Walgreens but so is talking to strangers. [Gamma Squad]

Meet The New GamePad Controller For iOS Devices - Like I said. If you’re gonna use a controller bigger than the screen, you should probably just be playing at home. Or at an arcade, if one still exists near you. This doesn’t make Angry Birds any more fun to play on the toilet. [Smoking Section]

Man Misses Mouse And Shoots Roommate, Revealing Child Rapist - I love that Vince got the best story of the year out of the way early. I feel like “making a girl hide in a closet for any reason other than hide-and-seek or hilarious stakeouts” should be Instant Death Penalty. [Film Drunk]

Who Gets To Continue To Be Awful At Their Job And Who Does Not? - Anything with a Flintstones header gets love from me. If I had it my way, With Leather would be a Flintstones fan site and I’d be doing slideshows about The Twitch. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]

20 People Who Don’t Know What A New Year’s Resolution Is - My new year’s revolution: 360 degrees. [Buzzfeed]

12 New Year’s Resolutions for 2012 Moviegoers - Mine are “see more movies at Alamo Drafthouse, where people get kicked in the ass for texting” and “make somebody release a Criterion Collection edition of City Lights“. [Moviefone]

5 Actors Who Got Their Start on ‘Punk’d’ - I like knowing that Whitney used to look like even more of a plastic surgery monster. They should make an “actors who got their end on Punk’d” and put Brandy on it. [The FW]

Five Shows That Started Off Slow (and Have Since Hit Their Stride) - I am going to strangle the next person who tells me ‘Happy Endings’ is good. Kim Bauer making Scrubs face about Scrubs-level jokes is not my idea of a good show. [Unreality]

Hero: Jessica Alba had a baby in August and looks like this in a bikini now - Welp. [FARK]

The 10 Best Movies You Didn’t See in 2011 - I never got around to seeing Thor, does that count? [Pajiba]

There’s not much to add to this mashup of big coach pep talks from various sports movies like Miracle, Hoosiers, Varsity Blues, Remember The Titans, and We Are Marshall. If you don’t get goosebumps, then you probably never will.

I nearly punched a hole in my monitor the first time I saw this, but it wasn’t because of the adrenaline. It’s because I really hate Dennis Quaid. Well done, Screen Junkies. Well done, indeed.

No matter how much you might hate the Steelers (or passively loathe them, as I do), it’s difficult to deny the awesomeness of head coach Mike Tomlin. In his four years in Pittsburgh, he already has won a Super Bowl and will be on his way to another with win against the Jets on Sunday. Plus he just looks cool, man. So it was forgivable–even appropriate, really–when Tomlin took a bite out of the ass of ESPN’s Bob Holtzman, who leaked news last week of a potential Steelers trick play before their game with the Ravens. Tomlin and Holtzman crossed paths at a press conference earlier this week.

Bob Holtzman, ESPN: [How] much time and preparation does it take to prepare for a Rex Ryan defense?

Mike Tomlin: It depends on whether you give him my plays, you know?

<a href=”http://burgh.us/19e”> Watch the video at NFL.com

Get him, Mike! I was pretty bent out of shape when I heard Holtzman’s report last week. Coaches and personnel will regularly tip off the media to plays that they might run for a certain game, with the understanding that such information is embargoed until kickoff. Holtzman committed a serious professional breach here, and I’m glad that he was called out for it. Holtzman strikes me as the kind of guy that would negotiate anal with a prostitute, only to take a stab at it anyway after being turned down. “It” being…well, you know…

The Oakland Raiders (as opposed to the Poughkeepsie Raiders) announced the promotion of offensive coordinator Hue Jackson to head coach, and all anyone can talk about is the disgusting head of Raiders owner Al Davis. What the hell is going on with that head? It looks like a zombie blew his nose on it. Yep, that’s all the commentary I have. Oh, and he looks like the Cryptkeeper from that one show. There. Done.

The Hue Jackson hiring should wrap up this year’s NFL coaching carousel, as all six head coaching vacancies in the league have been filled. Former Chargers defensive coordinator Ron Rivera will finally get his shot with the Carolina Panthers. The Panthers let the contract of John Fox expire, which was just fine with the Denver Broncos. Their former coach, Josh McDaniels, is now the offensive coordinator for the St. Louis Rams.

Other news you might have missed: Jim Harbaugh left Stanford for a better job down the street with the Niners. Jason Garrett and Leslie Frazier had their interim tags in Dallas and Minnesota, respectively. And the Browns hired some guy named Pat Schurmur…and I’m pretty sure that’s just a made-up name.

Img as seen on The Wiz Wit.

As Donovan McNabb has been benched with three games remaining, the Washington Redskins have officially thrown in the towel on 2010, and why not. The Future already has begun in the DMV, and that future apparently does not involve the former Philadelphia Eagles quarterback.

Redskins offensive coordinator Kyle Shanahan is using McNabb as a scapegoat, according to multiple players. The coordinator’s credibility has been questioned by players and members of the staff, according to team and league sources.

“The guys are extremely pissed,” one Redskins player told me.

–Jason LaCanfora/NFL.com

Mike Shanahan has made humiliating his veteran quarterbacks a tradition, becoming a practice as common as passing the mashed potatoes around the table at Christmas dinner. And Shanahan can afford to pass–the team is off the hook financially with McNabb after this season, and will take the next three weeks to audition former Bears quarterback Rex Grossman for the starting job in 2011. And while one could argue about Mike Shanahan’s tact or level of respect to his quarterback, the same cannot be said for his zeal to run his program to his liking, critics be damned. Read the rest of this entry »

From the NBA’s Department Of Left-Handed Compliments comes this submission from Shaquille O’Neal, who is in the midst of his first season with the Boston Celtics. O’Neal had a colorful comment about Celtics coach Doc Rivers, the guy that, in 2008, took that team to its first NBA title in over 20 years. Yes, there is a Department of Left-Handed Compliments at NBA Headquarters. I was there. Trying to shake hands with all of them was pretty funny.

“I’m going to call Doc an ebonic Phil Jackson,” said O’Neal. “And what I mean by that is Phil Jackson has his Buddha ways, but Doc got his homeboy ways because he was once one of us and he really relates to us very well. I think the guys respect him for that. You know, he treats us like men. He only expects one thing from us: Do what he says and play hard. If you could substitute a better word than ‘ebonic Phil Jackson,’ I’d like you guys to put your degrees to work. But it’s sort of like that, on that level.”

–Boston Herald, via Celtics Blog.

I guess calling a guy The Black Phil Jackson isn’t the worst thing that you could say about the guy. I mean, that language illustrates Shaq’s point perfectly. I guess the big man really knows how to turn a phrase. He’s like the ebonic Michael Chabon, or some other white writer that you’ve heard of that doesn’t end phrases with prepositions. Books? Am I pronouncing that correctly?

Top img via Sharebro Jonah.