While gathering material for last week’s Best Of Kate Upton On DeviantArt gallery, I noticed a lot of mislabeled pictures of Kate as “Brooklyn Decker”, because people seriously cannot tell them apart. I investigated further and discovered that an Adam Sandler movie and a role as BATTLESHIP LADY in Battleship earn you just as many fans and weird onlookers as a GQ popsicle cover.

So in the spirit of “what, why does this exist”, here’s part two in our series exploring the best portraits and worst Jungle Book-related bondage photoshoppery of DeviantArt.com. If you missed last week’s piece, DeviantArt is a place where people get together to tell each other that the pictures they cobbled together of naked manga characters kickboxing in the jungle are “so creative”.

What you’ll find inside: A few good drawings, a few bad ones, Brooklyn Decker as a giantess (and a clown) and a thing where someone made it look like Brooklyn was giving herself a wedgie. Tread lightly, folks.

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Watching this video is like watching the birth of a beautiful child.

Via D.C. Sports Blog:

As you can see, one zealous Toronto media member in the postgame scrum asked Harper if he’ll be enjoying a “celebratory Canadian beer” after his monstrous home run. Nats PR quickly shut down the question, but not before Harper uttered the phrase that is sure to end up on a T-shirt by noon:

“That’s a clown question, bro.”

I hope you like that phrase. You’ll be hearing it a lot.

Because that is absolutely right, here are a few of my favorite #thatsaclownquestionbro tweets from this morning’s GET THE JOKES IN AS FAST AS POSSIBLE bonanza. Do you want to read them? That’s a clown question, bro.

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Mexico City played host to the 15th annual International Clown Convention, at which 700 clowns gathered to attempt to break the world record for scaring the ever-loving piss out of children. When they were done with that, they also went after the world record for longest laugh at 20 minutes, which I assume is held by the first girl I had sex with.

Sadly, the clowns were only able to laugh for 15 minutes, presumably because truckloads of drug cartel soldiers arrived and shot them all to death. But all was not lost, as that 15 minute laugh was good enough to set the national record for longest laugh in Mexico. The previous longest national laugh was set by the audience during the filming of an episode for Pepe y Paco, in which a grown man dressed as an ice cream cone ripped off a woman’s bra and then threw her into a swimming pool filled with mouse traps. Ay dios mio!

Terrifying clown orgy video after the jump.

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Over the next week or so, Josh will recap some of his adventures at Blogs With Balls 2.0, the new sports media conference held last weekend in Las Vegas, presented by FoxSports.com, Yardbarker.com, ESPN.com, SB Nation, Sports Illustrated, Diageo Liquors and CarbonPoker. This is one of those anecdotes, including a rundown of how Josh and Brandon hired a clown to drink with them on The Strip on Saturday night.

The Las Vegas experience is limited only by one’s budget and imagination, and what started as a humorous aside in a conversation between friends slowly gained momentum as a viable entertainment option. Wouldn’t it be funny if we got drunk with a clown? Why yes. Yes it would. And so, with three weeks left before our trip to Vegas, Brandon posted a Craigslist ad and the Great Clown Hunt was on.

Lots of people wanted to be our clown, including an enterprising young lady who replied to our ad:

hey fellas! i am a local clown/stripper, ill do you gig for gas money and drinks! for extra cash ill strip too! i make balloon dildos and erotic clown show, bring ping pong balls and you won’t be dissapointed! you can reach me at 702-xxx-xxxx i dont always check my email.

We have to bring our OWN ping-pong balls? That’s poor customer service, missy. Read the rest of this entry »

Jason Whitlock memorably called Scoop Jackson "a clown" whose "fake ghetto posturing" was a "bad Nat X impersonation", and Scoop apparently has had a chance to respond. For the sake of everyone's intellect, I wouldn't dare link to anything Scoop himself has written, but you should check out True Hoop's measured analysis and Scoopwatch's scathing but fair breakdown.

I have, on occasion, tried to read Scoop Jackson. It generally defies what I thought were the limits of awfulness in journalism and commentary. I'm pretty sure I made more cogent written arguments in fifth grade. (Though to be fair to Scoop, I was awfully precocious.) Courtesy the True Hoop post, part of Scoop's explanation of his style:

Remember when Chuck D said (Rebel without a Pause) "A supporter of Chesimard?" (Assata Shakur–activist in Black Panther Party currently living in asylum in Cuba) I guarantee you that nine out of ten people never knew who Chesimard was. Chuck D remained unapologetic in his lyrics. He never explained who she was. He wanted the listener to do the research.

Dude, I don't have a problem with your references to black culture. It's your fractured syntax and general sports cluelessness that bothers me. And please never, ever compare yourself to Chuck D. That's like me saying I've adopted Thom Yorke's approach to art, when in fact I'm the K-Fed of blogging. PopoZao, bitches.