Here's another video from Old Rich People; this time it's a faux-documentary about the history of crazy athlete costumes that led to Clinton Portis's rise.  It's got some pretty solid Photoshop work, plus a guy pretending to be Finch from American Pie!  What a timely impersonation!  My friends and I were all talking about how much we loved American Pie just the other day.  We also discussed President Clinton's impeachment, and who looked like front-runners in the 2000 election.  Then we got in the time machine and came came back to 2007.  What a wild ride!

[Burly Sports] 

Redskins running back Clinton Portis, who once thrilled Internet sports dorks by holding his weekly meetings with the press in costume and character — among the favorites were Coach Janky Spanky and Dolemite Jenkins — is back the way we love him: as someone else.  From D.C. Sports Bog:

This is Choo-Choo. Something about him teaching Portis how to dance, and [Santana] Moss how to dance, and [Antwaan] Randle El how to dance. "I taught these boys how to dance," was the gist. A lot of it was unintelligible, and involved jerky dance-like demonstrations and third person referrals to "Clinton Portis," but hey, we'll take it. More on this breaking news later.

Oversize sunglasses?  Kabuki-like wig?  Flamenco shirt?  Goatee?  Dance moves???  My God!  He's tapped directly into my erotic fantasies!!!  That, or a Japanese Olsen twin with a goatee.  Which is pretty much the same thing.

UPDATE: The quotes from the press gathering are everything you'd hoped they would be.

Yesterday, after a reader made a fun little twist on the ridiculous Joey Porter "Prevent Crime" billboard, I put out a call for other PSA billboards you'd like to see.  Some of the intrepid readers tried their hand at Photoshop, others brainstormed in the comments.  So feel free to take credit for these, but let's be honest: With Leather's Photoshoppeur 289 did the real legwork here.  For once.

Anyway, here are the results in one big bukkake blast, because I'll be retiring this gag immediately.  The last thing I want to do is get backlash from running a billboard gag into the ground.  Not when I've got stripper jokes and dead hooker jokes to re-use.

Redskins running back Clinton Portis disapproves over the hubbub surrounding Michael Vick's obvious alleged involvement in dog-fighting.  DC Sports Bog takes a look at Portis's exchange with WAVY reporter Mary Kay Mallonee:

Portis: I don't know if he was fighting dogs or not, but it's his property and it's his dog. If that's what he wants to do, do it… You know, what people do behind closed doors…

Mallonee: "But that's a felony. It's a crime."

Portis: "It can't be too bad of a crime…."

Spoken like a true graduate of person who went to the University of Miami.  "Felony?  C'mon!  No one got killed, did they?"

Unfortunately, the "behind closed doors" defense doesn't fly with police.  Trust me on this one.  I was all, "They're still alive, aren't they?"  But noooooo, using the homeless for science experiments is "wrong" and "illegal."  Yet they're allowed to wallow in their own filth on the street and ask us for change.  Someone explain to me how that's fair.