Remember earlier this month when Justin Smoak of the Mariners hit a foul ball into a fan’s beer, so the fan fanned-up and chugged it? Here’s the food version of that.

Drew Stubbs of the Cleveland Indians hit a solo homer, and a fan lost a bag of popcorn in a beautiful explosion. To be as cool as the Mariners fan, dude needs to walk around, find every piece of popcorn and eat it. Do it. Do it. (via MLB.com)

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Links

Nerd Crush Veronica Belmont Has A Surprise For Anyone Who Googles To See Her Naked |UPROXX|

Meet The Woman Responsible For Saturday Night Live’s Celebrity Host Photographs |Warming Glow|

Will Ferrell & Jack Black making a movie about grown men who play tag |Film Drunk|

Baseball Comes Back To Fenway, David Ortiz Declares Boston “Our F**king City” |With Leather|

5 Classic Disney Games That Need To Be Remade (And 5 More That Absolutely Don’t) |Gamma Squad|

Listen To Kanye West’s Unreleased Demo Tape From Circa 2001 |Smoking Section|

NFL Superheroes, final round |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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I’ve prepared separate intro blurbs, depending on who you are. Find the one that is most appropriate for you!

I Don’t Watch Glee: I know, I know. Welcome to this week’s Sports On TV, featuring the first show I’ve ever watched specifically for the benefit of the column, FOX’s ‘Glee’. If you’ve never seen it, it’s a show your niece probably watched two or three years ago about a glee club at a Lima, Ohio, high school who interpret their feelings via reality-warping musical numbers. If you’ve never seen it and know what it is, yeah, it’s not great. However, if you’re a regular reader of the column, you’ll hopefully have a little faith in my writing/ability to write aggressively about stuff that sucks, so take a look through this one anyway. You’ll find a lot of funny jokes, a few pictures of hot girls and at least one video of zombie football players. That’s something, right?

I Watch Glee, And I Love It: Welcome to this week’s Sports On TV column, wherein I rag on that show you like because it’s not aimed at my intelligence level or demographic. Please read through the moments I’ve selected, tear apart any inaccuracies in my analysis, and show it to all of your friends so they can do the same. Make it really virally popular so nobody who likes ‘Glee’ will ever come here again!

I Watch Glee (Or Have Watched Glee) And Do Not Like It: You’re probably going to love this.

So please click through and enjoy the 20 greatest sports moments of ‘Glee’. *unnecessary bell ringing sound*

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This guy’s my new hero. Spends a night at the Prog, rocks a vintage jersey, makes a great leaping barehand catch on a foul ball. The most athletic thing I ever did at an Indians game was track down the hot dog mascots for a picture, and the nicest thing I ever wore was cargo shorts. He is clearly my superior.

My recovery plan is to sign up for tonight’s fantasy baseball game with FanDuel.com, drop two dollars each in sign-up fees to register three teams and take my chance at winning cold, hard cash from a $500 prize pool. Maybe then I can afford a better jersey than this poor Ryan Garko thing I’ve been in for too long. Also, a baseball glove.

The games are fun, cheap and easy to play, so there’s no reason to not throw in. Here’s how it works:

We’re capping the league at 275 teams and the games that count in the contest happen tonight, so hurry on over to FanDuel using this handy dandy link and play. Be cool. I know you’ve got it in you.

With Spandex celebrates its milestone sixth episode by welcoming a very special guest, the second most famous man to wear an UPROXX network-related t-shirt in public, former NXT season 4 rookie and current WWE Smackdown superstar Derrick Bateman.

The timing couldn’t be better, as the epic 60+ week run of NXT Redemption has finally come to an end (with Bateman winning by default?). On the podcast we discuss some of Derrick’s favorite memories from the show, his experiences living and wrestling in beautiful Cleveland, Ohio, his “Indy No Mercy mod” of the greatest wrestling game of all time and cap things off with a dramatic reading of some Derrick Bateman fan fiction. At one point a guy on a really loud motorcycle drives by while we’re taping. It’s fun for everyone!

After you’re done listening, make sure to follow the Cadillac Of A Man @DerrickWWE, like him on his WWE Universe Facebook page and cheer for him when he shows up on TV, be it in a winning effort against Titus O’Neil or losing to the Funkasaurus in roughly a minute. Oh, and watch NXT. He’s an absolutely top-shelf future superstar and deserves your support. If you don’t agree, I’ve provided a few select videos in the notes section below.

Subscribe to With Spandex on iTunes here: With Spandex on iTunes

RSS Feed: feed://withleather.uproxx.com/tag/with-spandex/feed

Direct download of the episode here: With Spandex Episode 6 – Derrick Bateman

Podcast notes:

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We’ve done fantasy sports at With Leather before and I’ve been notoriously bad at them (I finished in 800th place in a 200 person league), but I’ve got something going for me — baseball season is officially underway and regular season games (and The Dugout) start rolling out next week, and between my knowledge of the Cleveland Indians and how computers work I’m a shoo-in for a first place finish. You know, with the Indians.

Anyway, our latest fantasy baseball game through FanDuel.com is free to enter and can win you a Bank Of America duffel bag full of cash money — $1000, to be exact, with over 100 entrants taking home money. First place bags you 200 bucks, and if you’re as good at these games at me, you’ll at least walk away with a dollar.

It’s a one day contest (April 5, to be exact) and works like you might expect it to … you draft the best team you can under the salary cap and play them against the league. You can track your team’s progress through live scoring, and you get paid out at the end of the day once all games have ended. Then you look at how I’ve performed and see if you’re better than me. Which you are not.

And again, totally free. So hurry up and sign up for this immediately so you can brag about how well you’ll do on the 5th when I bug everyone else about signing up again on Friday.

One of The Dugout’s favorite recurring characters over the last seven years (holy crap) has been art dealer and owner of the Florida Miami Marlins Jeffrey Loria. He’s created championship teams on minimum wage, he looks like the lovechild of John Lithgow and The Great Pumpkin and he wears sunglasses with colored lenses because that’s the kind of thing cool millionaires do. He’s also sort of a son of a bitch, and the kind of guy who can be completely racist without ever really being racist at all.

Anyway, at some point between then and now, the Miami Marlins turned into a financial contender. They’ve got new uniforms, a new stadium, a new name … they’ve signed big name free agents and positioned themselves as a legitimate, unsurprising contender in the National League. Previous rationalization led me to just assume Loria had gotten a concussion and his friends were too afraid to bring it up, but it turns out I’ve got a better explanation.

Today’s Dugout is after the jump.

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