If Jerry Jones is anything, he’s controversial, so why wouldn’t he let someone film him with the worst camera imaginable, bad-mouthing Bill Parcells and Tim Tebow?

Tebow, who will be entering the NFL draft as one of the most polarizing talents in recent football memory, was the main topic of Jones’ mini-rant. We all know Jerry loves to stir the pot, so Tebow would be a perfect fit for a Cowboys team always looking to add the next character, right?

Wrong. Jones doesn’t need him. Via Deadspin …

Different other guy: What if you were the Jaguars or — would you just, just draft him and sell f**king jerseys?

JJ: That’s the only reason I brought in Bill Parcells.

[Laughter]

JJ: Bill’s not worth a s**t. I love him.

Different other guy: I know you do.

JJ: Not worth a s**t, but I wanted — they were on my ass so bad. J’s gotta have a yes man. So to get this f**kin’ stadium, I need to bring his ass in.

Different other guy: What, you, you wouldn’t take Tebow in the third round?

JJ: Why? He’d never get on the field. I can’t get him out there.

The man has a good point, except I’m sure there isn’t a state in the world more suited for a Christian boy with a huge heart and the ability to wrangle up fans by the thousands than Texas. Oh, and circumcision. That stuff’s huge in Plano. Read the rest of this entry »

POW! Right in the kisser! POW! Right in the kisser! POW! Right in the kisser!

Tim Tebow got knockeddafuggout in the 3rd quarter of Florida’s 41-7 thrashing of Kentucky last night after receiving a deliciously vicious hit from Kentucky defensive end Taylor Wyndham. To add insult to injury, so to speak, Tebow’s fall from the whiplash-inducing shot was broken by teammate Marcus Gilbert’s knee. Tebow was already suffering from flu-like symptoms and was seen vomiting as medical personnel carted him off the field.

Florida head coach Urban Meyer was shaken after the game when he spoke about his pious quarterback going down.

“It’s like my son,” Meyer said. “Imagine your son lying on the ground. My knees were shaking.” via.

Hey there, Coach Meyer, the only one that can claim Tebow is like a son to him is God, and when he saw Tebow get drilled, even he said, “Goddamn!” which is weird when you think about it. Thinking about God watching football made me think of something: I bet he (or “she” for you feminists) has an awesome home theater setup. Plasma? Pshaw. God’s rocking the magma screen.

Sure, lots of other compelling stories came out of yesterday’s football action, but that’s not important right now. How can anyone think of anything besides the well-being of the Holy Tebow? I can’t, that’s for sure.

Ultimately, I’m sure Tebow will be fine and will miraculously be resurrected for Florida’s next game, October 10th against LSU. Although one has to wonder if his concussion will have any long-term, residual effects on Tebow. Wouldn’t it be something if Tebow’s personality was radically altered because of his injury, like a modern day Phineas Gage? If that was the case, look out, comely Florida coeds – we might have a strange case of a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde kind of scenario developing. Post-concussion Tebow may have only one thing on his mind: sweet, sweet SEC poon.

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