Brad Lesley only spent four years in the Major Leagues as a relief pitcher; three years in Cincinnati, one in Milwaukee. He only racked up six saves in those four years, and a lifetime win-loss record of 1-3. He passed away at a hospital in Marina Del Rey on Saturday night. Kidney failure. He was 54 years old.

You may not remember him from his baseball career (unless you’re a Reds fan, and even then it’s iffy), but if you’re like me and spent a chunk of your childhood growing up in the 1990s, you’ll remember his film work. Lesley appeared in a handful of baseball movies in the 90s, including a role in Tom Selleck’s Mr. Baseball and his memorable turn as John ‘Blackout’ Gatling, aka “the mean guy with the goatee” from Little Big League.

Various obits mentioned that he had a role in Space Jam as himself, a role hand-picked for him by Michael Jordan, but it’s not listed on his IMDB page and I can’t spot him anywhere on my … uh, friend’s Space Jam DVD. I can confirm his appearances on ‘Takeshi’s Castle’/'Most Extreme Elimination Challenge,’ though, which makes him amazing whether your remember his movie career or not.

Rest in peace, Animal. We won’t forget you, and I’m sorry about Perez Hilton putting watermarks on baseball cards to claim them:

Read the rest of this entry »

I’m going to stir some controversy today that doesn’t involve the NFL, because I’m a button-pusher, but I’m honest. What you get from me here is how I am at home, and I won’t ever apologize for calling it like I see it. *closes ‘The Gregg Doyel and Skip Bayless Guide to Making Every Story About You’ coloring book* So what’s my controversial statement? I don’t like wiener dogs.

Ignite your pitchforks and sharpen your torches, because it’s true – I think that dachshunds are the canine equivalent of the Ford Flex. But as always, they’re still better than cats, because at least dogs can race, and as I learned this week, even wiener dogs can be competitive when it matters. So when they kicked off the annual Oktoberfest-Zinzinnati festival (Octoberfest to us Yanks) last week with a race in costumes, this silly little breed took one step in the right direction in winning my heart.

So which of these wieners gave the folks in Cincinnati something to be happy about before Dusty Baker breaks their hearts? The answer may shock you.

Read the rest of this entry »

By way of Red Hot Mama comes this clip from MLB Fan Cave comes today’s best nostalgic look back at the 1990s — Cincinnati Reds pitcher and part-time musician Bronson Arroyo covering Adam Sandler’s seminal mid-90s classic ‘Red Hooded Sweatshirt’. The original had a brief mention of one-on-one basketball (Sandler beat his sweatshirt 11-9), but this one goes full baseball, even bringing in Aroldis Chapman to play Kevin Nealon.

You shouldn’t post videos like this, Bronson, they’re all gonna laugh at you!

Here’s the very special Valentine’s Day original from Sandler:

Read the rest of this entry »

Come on, Johnny Cueto! You’re pitching against the Pirates! I expect two concurrent perfect games from you! Win this contest for me!

I’ve decided to put away my history of horrible fantasy performances and destroy this week’s FanDuel contest, wherein you pay $2 to enter and stand to win cash from a $200 cash pool … and the best part is that you can enter three times, and if all three of your teams finisher higher than me, you get your entry fee back. That’s a pretty sweet deal, and if you want to be a part of it you need to act fast — there are only 110 total spots in the contest avaiable, most of those have been filled already and the games start tonight.

Here’s how to play:

Then you get money. Then you get the women. THEN YOU GET THE POWER.

So sign up quickly and set up your team. Don’t pick Johnny Cueto, I don’t want you stealing his perfect games from me. Pick only Pirates.

Depending on who you ask, the Cincinnati Reds probably gave up too much young talent in a deal for pitcher Mat Latos this offseason, but when Walt Jocketty wants a guy, he gets that guy, damn it. Unfortunately, Latos isn’t off to a hot start this season (0-2, 8.22 ERA) but in fairness he had to pitch against the St. Louis Cardinals last night and they pretty much own the 24-year old in his brief career in the majors. The Cards are now 3-1 against Latos since his rookie season, and his ERA in that span has too many digits for me to process without my Texas Instruments graphing calculator.

But who needs stats when criticizing a guy is just plain easier? At least that’s how some Reds fans looked at his awful game last night (5.2 innings, 8 ER) and they took it out on the person who deserved it most – Dallas Latos, Mat’s wife.

That was Dallas’ last Tweet of the night, and she’s probably not going to delete her Twitter because she seems to like attention – as evidenced by her blog and recent appearance on CBS Sports. But she’s going to have to get used to putting up with a-holes and trolls moving ahead, especially if her hubby keeps tossing meatballs. Here are the two dipsh*ts she dealt with last night…

Read the rest of this entry »

Sometimes a gif says it all. Faustio Carmona had to run to first base during the Indians’ 3-1 win over the Reds on Saturday, and … well, have you seen the gif of the two dogs having sex? The one where they’re going at it, and the one dog gets so into it that he pukes on the dog he’s humping? That’s what happened during Fausto’s first ever attempt at running as a human adult. Click the image below to watch the full sized gif (courtesy of Mocksession) in action, as I guarantee it will be the most poignant, second-hand embarrassment you’ll experience all afternoon.

Oh. Oh no. I think the worst part is that his helmet falls off before he goes down. Fausto strained his right quadriceps muscle and will miss his next start, but all of that pales in comparison to the full-on personal crisis of looking like that in front of people.

“I didn’t watch [the replay],” he said Sunday morning, according to the Cleveland Plain Dealer. “I didn’t want to see it.”

Compare and contrast: