Cincinnati Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis knows no offseason when it comes to giving grief to his colorful wide receiver Chad Ochocinco. And no, by “colorful” I don’t mean “black,” ya big dummy. Ocho took up an invitation to try out for a Major League Soccer team, and you can imagine how that would go over with an NFL coach.

Here’s Lewis on Ocho’s dalliance with Major League Soccer: “What has he ever done that he’s completed? What circle has he connected in any way?” Lewis asked.

–PFT.

But now some people are wondering why Lewis hasn’t taken the same line with Carson Palmer, who’s threatening to leave town. I thought that was pretty obvious: because Lewis and Palmer have put winning football games above all else, whereas Ochocinco only does and says the things that will keep him on TV. Let’s not forget that Lewis was ready to bolt Cincinnati, too. Hell, Chad might be the only guy that actually wants to play for the Bengals right now. That alone would make him certifiably insane.

I wish I was half as good at anything as Terrell Owens thinks he is at life. The wideout failed to amass 1,000 yards receiving for the second consecutive season, but the 37-year-old has never been one to let facts get in the way of a good boasting, whether it’s regarding football or his plans for when his playing days are over.

“I’ll be in Hollywood on the big screen,” he told FOX411′s Pop Tarts at the Grey Goose Lounge Super Bowl soiree in Dallas, TX last weekend. “I did a comedy this past summer called ‘Dysfunctional Friends’ (co-starring Stacey Dash and Stacy Keibler) with a great cast, hopefully that’s a stepping stone for more work.”[..]

But before leaving the NFL for the bright lights of Hollywood, Owens has one important goal. In true T.O style, he wants to switch teams (again) to one that “will actually win the Super Bowl.”

–Fox News, via Ben Maller.

Terrell Owens will never play on a Super Bowl team, because you are a pompous ass that has yet to realize that the game has passed you by, and any decent organization with a shot at postseason glory will pass on you because you’re locker room cancer. And yet you come out of Buffalo and Cincinnati — unquestionably the two most poorly-run organizations in the NFL — thinking that you smell sweeter than a rose. I wish you’d think about some less egotistical career options, Terrell. Like “Foreign news correspondent in Egypt,” perhaps.

Cincinnati Bengals offensive lineman Eric Wright Evan Mathis is keeping himself busy in this most turbulent of offseasons. He’s working on a documentary about the NFL’s impending lockout. “Locked Out” promises to feature access to players, agents and trainers to document and discuss the current labor situation.

We are currently in production and will be using this money raised through Kickstarter to produce the best footage possible, as well as for post-production expenses. Even if the lockout can be averted this year, this production will continue on to completion. As we are already in production, the emphasis will shift (if needed) to the process that led to the agreement between the owners and players.

You can donate to Evan’s project here on Kickstarter. He’s asking for $50k and he has a long way to go. For more of Eric’s vision, plus a very emphatic definition of the CBA by superagent Drew Rosenhaus, join us after the jump. It can’t be any worse than Cloverfield.
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Cincinnati quarterback and frequent injury recipient Carson Palmer has clearly stated that he doesn’t want to play with the Bengals anymore by demanding a trade, and he’s now taking the next step in Operation: Palmer Leaves Cincy (that’s what I’d call it if I was him): putting his house on the market.
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Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Ochocinco just told ESPN’s Trey Wingo that he intends to change his name back to “Chad Johnson” in time for the 2011 NFL season, assuming there is one. The former Chad Johnson changed his name to an amalgam of the Spanish words for “eight” and “five” before the 2008 season. Chad’s jersey number is 85…obviously.

So was he serious? Who the hell knows. It’s just Chad being Chad. No matter what his name is, he can’t stand not being talked about. We’ll keep watching his Twitter feed and see if Chad does anything else anytime soon, like starting his own country or building a car out of homeless people.

The Bengals season ended nearly a month ago, and yet Carson Palmer is still making questionable decisions. If you forgot who Palmer was (and nobody could blame you if you did), he was considered among the elite quarterbacks in 2005, and then some Steeler went head-first into his knee and ruined everything. But now the Cincinnati quarterback wants out of Cincinnati, and he’s willing to retire if he doesn’t get his way.

Palmer has become the object of fan frustration in the past two years and sources said he has grown frustrated with the team’s inconsistencies. The Bengals finished 4-12 in 2010.

Sources familiar with Palmer’s plan and mindset said he is financially secure for the rest of his life and willing to follow through and retire. –ESPN.

Don’t let the door dislodge the ball from your throwing hand on the way out, Carson. Palmer’s 23 turnovers this season (20 picks, 3 lost fumbles) were a career worst (best?), and his poor play and late-game interceptions helped epitomize the team’s tragic 10-game midseason losing streak. It’s somewhat amazing that a guy could demand a trade after playing so poorly, especially to an owner whose only goal seems to be to make his team as bad as possible. Go, Carson. Save yourself!