Please allow United States President George Washington “Linda” McMahon to usher you into the latest in our series of embarrassing pro wrestler 8×10 treasuries, now helpfully categorized as “This Week In Horrible-Looking People.”

If you’ve missed any of our previous galleries, be sure to check out the cheesy late-80s/early-90s WWF promo photos, the extremely 1990s photos of Extreme Championship Wrestling and parts 1 and 2 of our vintage WCW promo run. Believe it or not, there are still about a thousand embarrassing pictures of wrestlers that were printed into stacks of 8x10s with the intention of them being signed and handed to strangers. Wrestling is weird.

So for the first installment of our infinite new series, please enjoy 51 of my favorite random, amazing WWE promo photos from the 90s, 2000s and today. Warning: a veiny John Cena is inside.

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There it is. After the initial 16 entrants chosen by With Leather and the follow-up, fan-chosen 16, the first annual With Leather Bad Wrestling Theme Lyrics March Madness Tournament has its brackets and is ready to begin.

Now comes the hard part: trying to decide which of these is worse than the other.

On the following pages you’ll find the match-ups listed above. You’ll be asked to reconsider the song lyrics and make your decision in the individual polls under each battle. Your votes will be the only thing deciding the winner, so vote early and pressure everyone you know to vote for your favorite entrants. Votes will count until Monday, March 18. I’m pushing for an American Males/Buff Bagwell showdown in the With Leather bracket, but I’m not gonna be aggressive about it. I also kinda want Kaitlyn to shock the world and take the whole thing.

Anyway, you made this happen, so now let’s make it big. If you don’t, Biker Taker will EXPLODE AT YOU~.

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Last Friday, we introduced you to a new concept in “feeling bad for being a wrestling fan” — the 1st Annual With Leather Bad Wrestling Theme Lyrics March Madness tournament, a 32-seed throwdown between the worst sets of words jammed into a wrestler themes. If you’re like, “I didn’t know wrestling theme songs HAD lyrics,” be warned … they can get pretty bad.

The first 16 professionally-chosen entrants were announced, and the call went out to you, the fans, to pick the final 16. You suggested lyrics in the comments section of the first post, and while some of you decided to totally ignore the rules and post full songs, many of you made nominations and had your voices heard. What follows it the formal announcement of the Fan 16, who’ll start going head-to-head next week.

Check out the horrible, horrible songs included in the second half of the tournament and let us know how you think the seeding should go. What’s the worst of the second 16? Which lyrics don’t deserve to be in the tournament at all? YOU DECIDE!

(I mean, not right now, but eventually.)

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People are stupid. That’s obviously a running theme around here, but the thing is that celebrities know that people are stupid. Even stupid celebrities know that people are stupid, because that’s how those morons are even famous in the first place. Fortunately for those stupid celebrities, they’re surrounded by people who want to make money off of them, and they’re smart enough to understand the 15 Minutes concept. And that’s the reason why the greatest 14:59 marketing push has always been the celebrity exercise video.

Celebrities are usually in great shape because they have teams of trainers and dieticians that help them around the clock, because if Kim Kardashian didn’t have people helping her, she’d be more ass than a donkey farm. Marketing teams, though, know that they can capitalize off of the public’s stupidity by letting us believe that celebrities just have some inside knowledge on what it takes to keep it tight. They don’t. But that won’t stop them from profiting.

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I think we all need to take a seat, maybe form a circle and just relax for a few minutes. We get a little bit too crazy about sports sometimes, and we tend to overreact toward athletes and media analysts for their decisions and/or opinions. I mean, take Twitter, for example. Have you seen the horrible verbal venom that is spewed at famous people on that “social media” site on a daily basis? Hell, I’m as guilty as the next guy for making cracks at some athletes, but I’m talking about the violent threats.

It’s really getting out of hand, and it’s been spilling out into our stadiums and arenas now, ruining the idea of fun competition for everyone. What the hell’s the point of going to a game or a bar these days if you constantly have to look over your shoulder and wonder if someone is about to stab you? Sports are supposed to take our minds off the really sh*tty things in life and provide hope and inspiration. Instead, we have people slaughtering each other in the streets.

Everybody calm down and let’s remember why we’re here in the first place… to hope that the other team loses and pray for people to be fired. That’s what sports are all about, dang it.

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Hulk Hogan, one of the people in the world I’m guessing you’d least like to see naked, is about to release a sex tape. According to the Hulkster it was a set-up, and by the time the video is released we’ll learn that not only did this mystery brunette set him up, she was paid-off to break his legs.

Hulk says the tape was “secretly filmed” without his permission — and now his lawyer’s on the rampage … claiming, “We will take all necessary steps to enforce both civil and criminal liability.”

Because Hulk Hogan has never told the truth once in his entire life, the tape is now in the hands of Vivid Entertainment, the same gentle folks who released ‘Backdoor To Chyna’.

Yesterday I shared with you a list of ten jokes to help you cope with the news, and thanks to the growing community of hilarious wrestling fans who read my Best And Worst Of WWE columns, here are ten more.

1. Burnsy: “Does he cut holes in the back of the condom wrapper to make it easier to tear open?”

2. mrejr8234: “Just when Hulk was gonna give the money shot he stopped and got dressed and told the lady she wasn’t ready to carry the load and finished himself off in the bathroom.”

3. TheRealMSol: “Turns out he has long blond pubes on the side of his dick, but the top is completely bald”

4. Homo_Erectus: “Does taking viagra and yelling “oh god, oh god, oh god” count as saying your prayers and taking your vitamins?”

5. brotz13: “When she kicks him out of bed, does she receive a booty call moments later from Mr. America?”

6. FunkyWarmMedina: “When he cums crashing down, does she hurt insiiiiide?”

7. PixelDrop: “Hope she was using a Bubba the Love Sponge.”

And now, a few jokes with hilarious video explanations.

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