photo credi: ImpactWrestling.com

Hello lovelies! It’s been too long. I’ve returned from the land of gross and incapacitating illnesses, and I brought a Best and Worst with me! T-shirts were sold out. Sorry.

A few things:

- The Mandible Claw was also on hiatus this week, given that the only things I could do were self-medicate and not move from the warm, comforting embrace of my couch. You should still check it out, though! It’s gonna be a good week next week, especially if you enjoy Chikara (you should), and me not sounding like Marianne Faithfull with post-nasal drip (you really should; it was weird).

- Everyone likes Chris Trew, yeah? And everyone likes fake sex with willing imaginary participants, yeah? Donate to the Air Sex Championship Documentary Kickstarter. Or don’t. But it’d be great if you did. Chris Trew is nice, and I want him to have nice things.

- I like Twitter. Twitter is easy. It’s also easy to follow me here. Follow With Leather, because Brandon and Burnsy are fun dudes, and UPROXX, because everyone loves Simon Pegg gifs.

This week on Impact: Joseph Park, more Joseph Park, and some other stuff I guess.

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Hello! Is it an Impact column you’re looking for? I can see it in your eyes. I can see it in your smile. And I want to tell you so much….the following pre-show notes:

- Haven’t voted in With Leather’s Bad Wrestling Theme Lyrics March Madness Tournament? Unsure who to vote for? Might I recommend two podcasts of a combined three hour length that will tickle your funny bone and fill you with mental images of me fighting Haystacks Calhoun? No? Well, you should listen anyways, because they’re pretty great. I know it seems like a long time, but hey, toss it on during a commute. A lunch break. Take a road trip, see something fun, and listen to Brandon’s dead-on Matt Hardy impersonation. And hey, while you’re doin’ stuff, you should check out the rest of The Mandible Claw. Wrestling! Wrestlers! It’s all there!

- Another thing you should do, as I am apparently an expert on that now, is donate a little (or a lot) of money to Brandon’s movie project. It’s not often that you get to be a part of someone living their dream, and every little bit helps. I have read the script, and boy howdy is this something you should want to see come to fruition. It’s good, guys. I know you’re here for rassles talks, which some of you have made clear in some less than kind ways, however this is something that is truly important to me, and I hope you’ll help in any way you can. Even if you can’t give, or can’t give right now, sharing, blogging, tweeting – all of these will help bolster awareness, and hopefully what was once just an idea can become a fully realized piece of art.

- Speaking of sharing and tweeting, we like those a whole bunch when it comes to the Best and Worst. While you’re at it, why not make it easier by following us on Twitter? I’m over here, With Leather is over there, and off in the distance you can just make out where UPROXX is.

This week on Impact: Video packages that are way better than they have any right to be, more video packages, and maybe some wrestling in between those video packages. Roll tape!

Hola, fellow Impact lovers! Or…tolerators! Let’s get some pre-show notes going!

- If reading isn’t enough, I did two podcasts this week. The first, a look back at one of my favourite matches, Spike Dudley vs. Mike Awesome at Guilty as Charged 2000 for Wrestlespective Radio. The second was my official induction into the Wrestling Blog, where Tom Holzerman and I manage to keep the Chikara talk to a surprising minimum, but are free wheelin’ with love for Rachel Summerlyn. So stuff those in your ear holes!

- Again, Brandon and I will be reppin’ the good name of With Leather at National Pro Wrestling Day. ACH and the Estonian Thunder Frog will be there, and if you’ve paid attention to anything I ever do ever, you know I am super duper excited and can’t wait to see either of them. If you can make it, you should do it, because good wrestling is fun, but good wrestling for free is the best!

- You should follow us in as many ways as possible. My twitter is here, With Leather lives here, and UPROXX pilots the mother ship over here. You can tweet and like and tumbl and share on reddit and do whatever you can to make sure people are reading, and someone, one day, realizes that they have the power to put Jeff Jarrett on television and it is a really, really bad idea so they won’t.

This week on Impact: Joseph Park, some other stuff, more Joseph Park, and then some other stuff with people and wrestling and things. And Joseph Park!

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Well hello, lovelies. I apologize for the delay in getting this column up. I had some work and travel issues (it was the blerst of drives!), so I had a fair amount to deal with before I could get to watching my new favourite episode of TNA ever. Before you find out why, let’s get a few things out of the way:

- If you’re not following myself, With Leather, or UPROXX on twitter, I encourage you to click the links for each. You can like the article on Facebook, you can tumbl about it, and you can apparently share it on Reddit. I went on Reddit once to read an AMA with Tim Donst, and that has been the extent of my experience, but I’m told it’s a good thing, so y’know … if you could.

- You should also read that AMA with Tim Donst. It’s pretty great. He talks about the time he tried to kill Hallowicked with a drill in a furniture store, otherwise known as one of my most treasured of Tim Donst videos.

- Like Brandon, I will be attending National Pro Wrestling Day to lose my mind over ACH in person, indulge in some Wrestling Bro high fives, and maybe try to hug Jervis Cottonbelly, because he is the best. If you can make it out, you definitely should. We’re good people in person, and again, ACH!!

Alright guys, let’s get to it. This week on TNA, it’s the wedding of the century, and nothing else matters except all of the other stuff I wrote about. Move over, Will & Kate! A Hogan’s getting married!

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And now, Impact Wrestling presents 'Man Getting Hit By Trophy'

Hello again, my darlingest Ham Sandwiches! I hope you all had a wonderful New Year’s Eve. I personally spent it loudly replacing Auld Lang Syne with Boys on the Docks, and watching a very large bearded man wrestle a smaller, skinny punk kid in the snow. It was like watching Jebediah Park vs. Jeff Hardy in the match no one asked for. In other news…

• I will be attending SMASH Wrestling’s event Any Given Sunday on … Sunday. If any of you cool cats in the GTA want to come see Johnny Gargano, 3.0, Gregory Iron, and what commenters look like in person, you should head on out! I make no promises as to whether or not I will be dressed like Bully Ray, doing bad Al Pacino impressions, or telling everyone to throw their money at Gargano’s merch.

• Gifs this week have been provided by the lovely Casey/THESTINGER. He is the best person, and I am consistently jealous of his boogie.

• As always, I can be found on twitter here, With Leather keeps it tight here, and UPROXX operates their twitter machine here. By all means, like us on Facebook, and share us on the sharing stuffs, especially Reddit. Stop by, say hello, and tell us what you like or dislike about what we’re doing. I have it on good authority that the person who operates my twitter account likes hearing what you think, and is also really into Johnny Gargano.

This week on Impact: Christopher Daniels makes me think deep thoughts, D.O.C. jobs to a chain lock, and TNA makes me stretch my creative writing muscles to the point of a near hernia.

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OH MY GOD WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOUR ARM, REF

Hola, lovelies! I am riding high on a Christmas full of Jack Swagger action figures, talking Chewbaccas, and a shockingly great (mostly) episode of Impact. I hope you’re all ready for a heck of a lot of bests, because I am full of leftover festive cheer and also coffee and I am ready to get to it! But first things first:

• Before you do anything, you should go out and send a Christmas card to Dalton Dingle. Go on. I’ll wait.

• We don’t have fancy video packages, but you can find out what got Bested and Worsted last week here. If you aren’t caught up, but already guessed that Taz made horribly offensive gay jokes about Santa Claus, you’re right, and I am so so sorry.

• You don’t have to kiss to be clever, but we’d always appreciate it if you’d Tumbl for us. You can also like us on Facebook, use the twitters to tell all of your friends about the cool stuff you read on the internet (and also this article), and follow myself and With Leather while you’re there. UPROXX lives in the twitters as well, should you feel the need to tell them how much you enjoy these reports, or send selfies of you clutching your pearls (or personal equivalent) at the idea of a non-Brandon Best & Worst.

This week on Impact, gratuitous heel on heel action, Bully Ray proves that even he doesn’t watch this show, and Mr. Anderson takes them both because he is…whatever the Mr. Anderson equivalent is of hardcore.

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