There are two major perks to living in Austin, Texas, and I’ll let you decide which one is better:
1. We have a festival for something every two weeks. 2. We’re one of the stops on the nationally touring Air Sex World Championships series.
If you haven’t seen an Air Sex competition before, you’re in for a treat. Possibly a stomach ache too, but definitely a treat. Air Sex works just like Air Guitar, except instead of pretending to play guitar you’re pretending to rail or be railed by any number of invisible persons, things and objects. It’s … an experience.
The Air Sex Championships rolled into town to help unofficially kick off this week’s Moontower Comedy and Oddity Festival as both comedy and oddity, and With Leather representatives were there to exclusively capture the action.
If you live in Austin and read this site on the reg, chances are you were one of the tens of thousands of people in attendance at last night’s Monday Night Raw Watch Party, informally known as the Best And Worst Of Raw Live. On ice. And don’t quote me on the attendance, there were lights in my eyes the entire time and I’m just assuming that’s how many people were on the other side.
Anyway! If you watched Raw you know it was:
1. Three hours long 2. Suicidally dreadful 3. 85% commercial break
That being said, the combination of an arduous three hour Raw and the performance anxiety/high/cooldown combined has forced me to post this announcement: This week’s Best And Worst Of Raw column will be posted first thing in the morning on Wednesday, unless you want me to write up the version I saw with everything muted.
Maybe that would be better.
Until then, head over to The New Movement and find out where and how you can support the talented men and women who helped make the Raw party possible. For a live perspective on Raw that DIDN’T involve anybody calling Hornswoggle a “dick in a fruit roll-up”, check out John Canton’s Raw Deal at TJR Wrestling.
- Only 52 more weeks til Wrestlemania 29 and 44 more until pointing at the sign season. Hooray!
- Let’s have a party in the comment section. I’ll (guest writer Chris Trew) will hang there all week long and we can discuss how exciting next week is gonna be when Brandon is not in an airplane during Raw.
- Thank you to Casey/THESTINGER for helping me out with gifs and pictures. Be sure to visit his gifs Tumblr for the stuff I didn’t use.
Pre-show notes, largely copy and pasted from last week (just like Raw!):
- Don’t be afraid to leave a comment on this report. We’ve build a great community of intelligent, funny wrestling fans and you should be a part of it, because seriously, you aren’t gonna find it anywhere else.
- Big thanks again to Casey/THESTINGER for helping me out with gifs and pictures. Be sure to visit his gifs Tumblr for the stuff I didn’t use, especially the one of D’Lo Brown beating the crap out of the Undertaker.
We’ve endorsed him for New Orleans Hornets owner before, but comedian-slash-pro-wrestling-manager-slash-Air-Sex-Pioneer-slash-everything-else Chris Trew should already be running the team and throwing together Alonzo Mourning handshakes for pregame festivities. Make this happen, anyone in charge of basketball.
ROFLMNBAO: The NBA Weekend In Pictures - First, two links from us we want to make sure you don’t miss … the first is Burnsy’s loving tribute to Kissing Suzy Kolber, wherein big white block letters make people like Khloe Kardashian acceptable. Click through this, love it, drop a comment. [With Leather]
The Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 12/26: Hate Leads To Suffering - If we can get this back up to 150 comments on the reg I’m going to give away more cash (two people have already won 50 bucks each for retweeting the last pay-per-view report) so if you read the report, get over there and comment. Eventually you’re going to comment on everything you read and I will stop bugging you about it. WRESTLING, YAY [With Leather]
Peter King Has A Theory - Doesn’t he always? P.S. the Discount Double-Check is my new favorite gif. I feel like I could watch it forever. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
Seems Appropriate, Disney Channel - Eating disorder jokes aren’t anything new to the Disney Channel (that episode of The Suite Life when London has to lose weight, for example … yes I can make that reference) but Demi Lovato almost lost her mind to one so they should probably cool it. Also, show more cartoons and stop making 12 year olds rich. [Warming Glow]
The Avengers Will Be Converted To 3D In Post -Hugo was amazing in 3D. Also, nothing else should be 3D again ever. [Film Drunk]
Fat Joe And Chris Brown Have Made Another Terrible Song - I can’t confirm it, but I’m going to go ahead and say that Fat Joe is the Uncle Kracker of hip-hop. Chris Brown is a crazy monster. They love to drink! This is not good. [Smoking Section]
A Portal 2 VGA Acceptance Video Trying To Trick Me Into Thinking Half-Life 3 Exists - I’m just going to keep pretending that a Half-Life 2: Episode 3 lives in my house and can be played whenever I want and that Valve doesn’t secretly hate and resent me. [Gamma Squad]
Hot Potato: 15 Photos of PXC Ring Girl Abby Poblador - Have mercy. Oh, and by the way, Cage Potato’s slide viewer should make you really appreciate how reader-friendly ours is. [Cage Potato]
Let’s Take A Moment To Blow Up Christmas Ornaments In Slow Motion - Yes, let’s! [UPROXX]
(note: This image of Air Sex World Championships host and future pro wrestling manager of the decade Chris Trew hyping up the crowd is the most safe-for-life image I could use from this year’s event. If I put up most of the images in this gallery on the main page we’d lose our sponsors and I’d have to get paid with the Mr. Skin Minute. Not a world I want to live in.)
In case you haven’t been closely following the sport of competitive imaginary f**king, the Air Sex competition you may remember from last year has become a national sensation, with competitions popping up in Los Angeles, Chicago, and alongside acts like Donald Glover and Captured! By Robots during Fun Fun Fun Fest in Austin, Texas. The Funfest competition (which featured a guy pantomime-humping to the Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers theme song) was such a hit that Air Sex’s “Wrestlemania”, the Air Sex World Championships, came to Austin last weekend. Pretended to come to Austin. You get what I’m trying to say.
Anyway, your perspectives on sex and humanity won’t be complete until you’ve flipped through some pictures of the event. All pics in this gallery are courtesy of Slightly Removed Photography (because how close do you want to get, honestly) and if you’d like to see more, or find out where naked fat guys and the occasional lady will be pretending to blow each other in your area, check out AirSexWorld.com.