I'm gonna try to win the Pulitzer with this one.

Austin, Texas, has 8-10 festivals every weekend, but this weekend was a big one: the 7th annual Fun Fun Fun Fest, featuring a reunited Run DMC, everyone from Public Image Ltd to X to f**king Kreayshawn and a cannon that shoots tacos. It’s the weird little brother of SXSW, and it’s the best.

It’s also full of sports, and because 1) I was there, and 2) I run a sports blog, I documented all of it to share with you here. I actually got to participate in some of it, too. My jobs as a returning judge for the Air Sex Championships and hosting gig for a veggie hot dog eating contest got me billed as a “Yellow State Artist,” meaning I performed (as it were) on the same stage as David Cross, Eugene Mirman, H. Jon Benjamin, Saul Williams and a magician who did a racist ventriloquist act and pulled ribbons out of a chicken’s ass. It was one of the coolest, best experiences I’ve ever had, and that’s not even mentioning how I got a crowd of hipsters to join me in a Daniel Bryan “YES” chant.

Inside this Golden Treasury of sports photos you’ll find:

- Skateboarding and BMX at “Ride The Plank,” sponsored by Project LOOP
- Pro wrestling courtesy of local pals Anarchy Championship Wrestling
- Mechanical bull riding
- The aforementioned Air Sex Championships, which gets covered a lot on With Leather these days and is exactly what it sounds like.
- The veggie hot dog eating contest

Stick around until the very end to see a shirtless fat guy in a horse mask squaring off against a punk rock pornstar. That is not clickbait, that actually happened. I love you, Fun Fun Fun Fest.

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As an extremely, extremely low-level celebrity in the Austin, Texas, area, I’ve gotten to participate in a lot of cool things. I’m co-hosting a veggie hot dog eating contest at this year’s Fun Fun Fun Fest, I’ve participated in a Megaphone Show at the best comedy theater in town and during Fantastic Fest (not to be confused with Fun Fun Fun Fest … we have a lot of fests) I was asked to be a judge at an Air Sex Championships show.

Of course, that was just an exhibition for the festival. The formal competition round for the next cycle of Air Sex Champions returned to Austin on Wednesday night at The Highball, and because I guess I did an okay job telling people they were good or bad at f**king invisible objects the first time, I was asked back as a judge. If you remember our exclusive coverage of the last time they were in town you’ll recognize a few returning competitors, but most importantly you’ll recognize me, sitting there at the table in the background secretly reverting back into 6-year old Super Christian Brandon and asking God to forgive me.

Big thanks to Lex Lybrand of Greenless Studios for these glorious action shots of the event. If you haven’t been to a live Air Sex show and it comes to your area (and it will … it tours nationwide), check it out. If not, I’ll bring a camera on stage with me next time and show you some horrible angles you’re missing from the crowd.

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In case you ever wanted to hear Anthony Davis sing, here’s the latest episode of Trew To The Game, about New Orleans Hornets Media Day. First I miss the Bikini Hockey League Media Day, and now this. Come on, Uproxx.

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- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
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Links

This Bridezilla’s Letter To Her Potential Bridesmaids Is Sad, Terrifying |UPROXX|

The Description On This Chinese Bootleg ‘How I Met Your Mother’ DVD Is Pretty Accurate |Warming Glow|

Jennifer Lopez strips for Jason Statham |Film Drunk|

Victoria’s Secret At Cowboys Stadium Opened, And Hot Models Were There |With Leather|

Octopus Handily Beats Up Shark While Stealing Food |Gamma Squad|

The 10 Best Episodes Of “Batman: The Animated Series” |Smoking Section|

LOLNFL 2012: Week 4 |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

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Here’s a teaser video of me judging the Air Sex competition at Fantastic Fest in Austin over the weekend. Yeah, I looked that awkward and squeamish pretty much the entire time. What you don’t see: me almost getting pegged in the head with a chunk of thrown marshmallow that’d been in a lady’s mouth. If there’s an Air Sex Championship anywhere near you, go see it, whether I’m there or not. Preferably when I’m not there.

Shout out to my dear friend Megan Simon for sitting next to me at the judges table and making me look like absolute garbage. She should have a billion Twitter followers.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather
- Follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and Burnsy @MayorBurnsy
- Like us on Facebook.

Links

For The Love Of God, Please Be Good – Prince Amukamara Live Q&A Today @ 11 EST |Kissing Suzy Kolber|

The 10 Best Apple Maps Image Parodies So Far |UPROXX|

The Cast Of ‘Game Of Thrones’ Cleans Up Well For the Emmys |Warming Glow|

Adult Film Scripts > Regular Film Scripts |Film Drunk|

The With Leather Hot Twitter List Buzz Words Top 25: People We’d Go To Burning Man With |With Leather|

So You Need To Go See ‘Dredd’ ASAP |Gamma Squad|

Roy Jones & Kimbo Slice May Fight. Sounds Like A Bad Idea. |Smoking Section|

Did Blowing Into Nintendo Cartridges Actually Help? |Mental Floss|

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If you want to see the exact moment my heart begins to swell, this is it.

Pre-show notes:

- Another huge thanks to Dennis Haskins, Action Bronson, Derrick Bateman and the over 6,000 comments that made our Raw 1000 Open Discussion Thread the most populated and commented-upon UPROXX thread ever. If you want to spend the next two hours laughing, go skim through that. I could’ve included 200 top comments.

- Before you read the Raw 1000 report, be sure you’ve read The Best And Worst Of WWF Monday Night Raw, Episode 1. The Executioners show up in it, and they’re pretty great.

- Thanks as always to Casey of Hammerlock Dialectic for gifs.

- Follow us on Twitter @withleather, follow me personally @MrBrandonStroud and like us on Facebook.

And now, the Best and Worst Of Raw 1000 (July 23, 2012), lovingly presented by Tout.com.

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Friend of the site and Best And Worst Of WWE Raw report filler-inner Chris Trew does a lot of things with his spare time — co-hosting live Raw watch parties with me, touring the country with stand-up comedy, birthing improv theaters across the southern United States and emceeing the Air Sex World Championships among them — but he’s at his best when he’s enthusiastically conversing with strangers.

That’s what makes this video so enjoyable … Trew showed up at a Hornets Draft Lottery Party at Mannings in New Orleans to interview fans of varying optimism about what they’d do if the team did or didn’t get the first pick in the draft. Highlights include a guy in a Daniel Bryan shirt who wants to loot beer, a guy straight out of Slacker who wants to start his own mini-pizza franchise and a guy who is gonna have a nice day and a pleasant dinner no matter what happens.

As we know now, David Stern worked his magic and the Hornets drafted Anthony Davis and his magnificent brow, so the clip has a happy ending. See? Trew’s a good luck charm. Maybe he’ll end up owning 3.27% of the team after all.