Pictured: Not Me

If you’ve enjoyed contributing money to millionaire Kickstarter vanity projects by folks like Rob Thomas, Zach Braff and Rob Liefeld (no, seriously, Rob Liefeld is doing one of these things), you’ll LOVE giving money to millionaires who matter: the bizarre human beings behind the Air Sex World Championships are making a documentary.

With Leather is all about Air Sex. They’ve brought me in as a judge a time or two, been featured onstage alongside folks like David Cross and-or Henry Rollins at Fun Fun Fun Fest, and the act of “f**king nothing” once made Howard Stern get all shifty on ‘America’s Got Talent.’ It’s a real thing, and more importantly it’s a real weird and funny thing, and it deserves a non-fiction film project.

Here’s their fundraising video. If Air Sex skeevs you out, perhaps you’ll enjoy the smooth baritone of The Internet’s Brandon Stroud bookending the trailer. Yes, I’m writing in third person now. Brandon is. Whatever. Check it out:

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On Tuesday, I took a few hours out of my business vacation to New Orleans to share with you the podcast version of the Best and Worst of WWE Elimination Chamber 2013. A lot of people liked it. A lot didn’t. Several of you called me lazy for providing free content because it wasn’t the exact free content I’d imagined when I left for NOLA.

Regardless, I loved it (as anyone who gets what Trew To The Game is actually going for would), and the end of the episode promised a part 2 about our experience in the front row of the WrestleMania XXX press conference. If you didn’t like the first one (because it wasn’t a straight-forward, analytical podcast and was me having fun with my friends) (because you hate that I have friends) (and further accusations), give this one a shot. It’s basically just me and Trew going OH MAN HOW GREAT WAS THIS THING WE GOT TO DO, with a healthy sprinkling of “WWE brought in a bunch of black people to dance for us in-between the white people talking.”

Please click on this photo of me and John Cena not giving a rip about the announced Best and Worst posting schedule to listen.

(I was doing his old “Untouchable” taunt)
(it is hard to do with one hand)

If you’d like a more direct link, please follow this to your podcasting destination.

Here is the full press conference video, for reference:

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WWE Elimination Chamber has come and gone. I rode from Austin, TX, to New Orleans on Sunday for the show, stayed Monday for the epic WrestleMania XXX announcement press conference, got my picture taken with Mark Henry and … well, I’m still here. I don’t get back into Austin until Wednesday night.

That said, I don’t want to leave you without a Best and Worst of Elimination Chamber report, so I’ve organized something special. BEHOLD, for the first time in Best and Worst history, a report comes to you in the form of a podcast!

The lovely folks at Trew To The Game were nice enough to have me on, and if you wanted to know what I thought of the show, holy shit this is everything I thought about the show. We cover the matches, the booking, the botched bucket spots, the crazy people in the audience around us and more. I’m really proud of it, and I hope you’ll take some time to download it, subscribe, listen, whatever.

Please click on this moving image of Mark Henry splitting Randy Orton’s wig to listen.

(Or, I don’t know, click here if you don’t trust a GIFlink)

As I mentioned last week, the Air Sex National Championships went down in Austin, TX, on Friday night. If you’ve never seen Air Sex, it’s a (for lack of a better term) head-to-head competition where performers execute no-holds-barred imaginary f**k-sessions on stage for the enjoyment of an audience of folks trying not to throw up. Brooklyn Decker was there in the crowd, apparently. I was on stage as a judge, because (1) I’ve been lucky enough to judge a few of these during its most recent touring schedule, and (2) I am not even ABOUT to pretend-hump something in front of Brooklyn Decker.

I put together a gallery of the show’s best and most iconic images (with the help of my good buddy Lex Lybrand of Wear The Cheese), and here’s a quick guide to what you’ll see as you flip through it:

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Some vaginas more pantomimed than others.

As regulars at With Leather may know, I became a recurring judge during season 4 of the Air Sex World Championships, making three appearances at the judges table to help decide which person did the best job at pretending to have sex. If you’re not a regular, it’s like air guitar, but with penises.

Anyway, the last time I attended an event I got to pal around with ‘Tim & Eric’ star David Liebe Hart, so I was obviously like, “this is the best the fake sex game gets.” But NO, tonight in Austin at The ND is the season 4 Air Sex finale, featuring the top performers from shows across the country coming together to … uh, come together, and entertain me, and to a lesser extent, you.

The culmination of a year of touring the country comes down to this. Who will win the coveted title of Air Sex National Champion?

We’ve got great performers from:
New Orleans, LA
New York City
Los Angeles
Washington DC
Austin, TX
Houston, TX
San Francisco

Hosted by comedian @ChrisTrew. Also featuring “foreplay” a special pre-Air Sex standup comedy showcase. Season 5 kicks off in May!

You can pick up tickets here, and if you’re anywhere near Texas tonight, you should. If you read With Leather and attend the event (and I don’t already know you), let me know and I will high five you with one of the least gross hands in the building.

If you aren’t in Texas, follow @airsex on Twitter today, and prepare for the weirdest gallery ever at With Leather on Monday.

Pre-show notes:

- In addition to writing jokes for sports websites, I also do a lot of comedy shows all over the country. Twitter followers are like money to comedians so follow me there if you like my style. I’m also going on comedy tours this May and again in June so check my performance schedule and come say hi!

- No references to Destiny this week other than this one to say that I have hung out with her several times even though she writes mean things about me on poster boards during ACW shows.

- This is my favorite wrestling column on the internet so I’m thrilled to be making my second appearance off the bench for Brandon. He’s staying at my house in New Orleans after the Elimination Chamber so he sort of owes it to me. I’m not nervous about filling his shoes, rather, I’m nervous you guys will think the shoes I’m wearing aren’t as fly as his to begin with. Different shoes for different folks, people. Just give me a chance!

- Follow With Leather on Twitter @withleather, follow Brandon @MrBrandonStroud and like WL on Facebook.

Best and Worst of Raw presents: Managing as Managing Manager

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