During this year’s Summer Olympics, NBC’s best play-by-play analyst was Retta, who plays Donna on ‘Parks And Recreation’. Her tweets about chocolate tumblers and the Olympics trying to break a bitch were amazing, and as sports bloggers it’s our duty to shine the spotlight on every legitimately hilarious person who touches sports.

Not only is Retta’s show one of the best on television right now, it’s also one of the most sports friendly. That makes it a perfect fit for Sports On TV, our column dedicated to the best sports moments of shows about something other than sports. This is the first still-on-the-air show we’ve attempted to cover, so if you’re reading this a year from now and are all, “HEY, WHERE’S THE EPISODE WHERE MCKAYLA MARONEY SHOWS UP AND ANDY WINS THE LONG JUMP” or whatever, give us a break, we aren’t time travelers.

With greatest possible love to Retta, Michael Shur, Greg Daniels and the rest of the talented people making my favorite 30 minutes of any given week, here are our 20 favorite sports moments from ‘Parks And Recreation’. I don’t know what this is, but I want you to read all of it.

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An All-’Simpsons’ Channel? Woo-hoo! - I know everybody’s into streaming and not having to move to access their media, but this is why owning seasons 1-8 on DVD is awesome. I don’t need a network, and unless I accidentally click on a clip show, I don’t ever get a bad episode. [Warming Glow]

Trey Parker & Matt Stone Detail How They Went Viral Before Going Viral Was Cool On 60 Minutes - Detailing it on 60 Minutes is a hilarious statement about growing older. Maybe in a couple of years they can show up to sing a song on A Prairie Home Companion. |UPROXX|

The Best Of #Boardwalk Empire - Between this and “Community” (and to a lesser extent, “90210″) I want “The Wire” to be back on television so bad. [UPROXX]

Anne Hathaway In The Full Catwoman Suit - The Dark Knight Cashes In doesn’t look great so far, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. I hope Judd Winick gets put in charge of part 4. And that part 4 goes straight to Cinemax. [Gamma Squad]

Justin Bieber Rented Out The Staples Center to Watch Titanic - Bieber is basing his grandest gestures on dark ages Adam Sandler comedies. Maybe Selena Gomez will get brain damage and forget she knows him every day. [Film Drunk]

You Know You’re Drunk When… - If you see the phrase “say no to crack” and it reminds you to PULL YOUR JEANS UP, you might be a drunk [Buzzfeed]

10 Nerdiest Objects in the Office on ‘The IT Crowd’ - Thanks to British television, this show only ran for 20 minutes before it ended and was canonized. [FARK]

9 Great Singers Who Can Also Act - “Can act” is pretty vague. Anybody “can act”, but acting and being good at acting are two very different things. Also, does Donald Glover count as a singer? “So Fly” is awesome, and Troy is still the best. [Moviefone]

Attack of the Show Interviews Chris Pratt - One day I will host this show, and I will only interview Chris Pratt. [G4TV]

5 Unsexy Reasons You Wouldn’t Want to Be a Male Porn Star - 1 unsexy reason I WOULD want to be a porn star: Allie Sin. Unsexy reason #2, Gianna won’t stop spitting on people. [The Smoking Jacket]

19 Creepy Shipwrecks from Around the World - Question: How many of these run the risk of being Chipwrecked? [Ask Men]

The 10 Biggest Opening Weekends for a Baseball Movie - Here’s every review of Moneyball: “It was good, but slow.” Now, every review from a blogger: “I JOTTED DOWN EVERY INCONSISTENCY IN THIS ‘FEATURE FILM’ AND WILL LIST THEM NOW, #1, OAKLAND DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A TEAM” etc. [Pajiba]

145 Reasons Spider-Man 3 Sucked - Well, that’s thorough. [Unreality]

Chances are about 70% of our updates for the next week and a half are going to involve Kate Upton in a baseball cap, so here’s another one, but at least this one has a moral. Watch with differing levels of delight as Chris Pratt from Parks and Recreation fails to properly operate a camera while interviewing celebrity softballers Upton and Erin Andrews about their roles in the week’s festivities (note: based on this and other videos, their role was to laugh affably while people pressured them to get naked). Andrews and Upton show off the respective Red Sox and Yankees patches on their jerseys because those are the only two teams that exist, prompting Kate to ask Pratt what’s on his.

Now, if Kate Upton asked me what was on anything of mine I would faint like a fat Victorian lady, but I’m not Andy Dwyer (or Scott Hatteberg). Pratt tries to play it off with a joke, but the women are wondering what the hell he’s doing sporting nautical iconography on his jersey, so he explains it with the kind of honest sports answer that makes jerks like me a fan of his for life.

I’m a Mariners fan from Seattle, so that’s why I came here. My wife and I are both from Seattle, and we love the Mariners.

Awesome. I like to think Kate Upton had a Cosmo Canyon planetarium moment and is going to spend the next two weeks googling “Mariners” and laughing at the moose.

Of course, Wikipedia tells me Pratt was born in Minnesota (and his wife, actress Anna Faris, is from Baltimore), but I won’t hold that against them. Where you’re from is where you feel like you’re from, and even though I only spent four years living in Ohio I refer to myself as being “from Cleveland”. Besides, I would feel terrible if I found out one of my favorite TV characters liked the Twins.