Like most people, when news broke that the New Orleans Hornets were changing their name to the Pelicans, I was all like, “Pelicans? That’s a stupid mascot,” as I hid my Magic gear from plain sight. But thankfully I follow some diehard New Orleansonians on the Tweeters, including our good friend Chris Trew, and I now believe that with the bird’s actual legacy to the city combined with how amazingly nasty they are in nature, the Pelican is a phenomenal choice for a mascot.

However, some people are still making snap judgments based on ignorance, chief among them former Hornets guard, all-around good person and graduate of the LeBron James Institute of Get Me the F*ck Out of Here, Chris Paul.

Pelicans??? #ImNotRollin

— Chris Paul (@CP3) January 24, 2013

Don’t bother going to check the responses to that Tweet, because I can sum them all up for you with this sentence: “Gooooooooooooooooooo f*ck yourself.”

Local news anchor Scott “Not That Governor Dick” Walker perhaps shared the loudest sentiment with the athlete who famously forced his way out of New Orleans by reminding him that nobody in that delightful party town really cares what Paul thinks. And then Walker was reminded that Twitter is an awful place full of awful people and it really needs an IQ requirement.

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"And that girl, and that girl, and that girl, and that girl and her mom, and that girl..."

Last time we checked in on Chris Paul’s adorable young son, he was giving us a good laugh at his dad’s expense, as CP3 asked him, “Who dunks?” to which he replied, “Blake!” The question, of course, came after the elder Paul threw down an impressive two-handed Phi Slamma Jamma against the New Orleans Hornets, and dunking isn’t usually his deal. But thanks to that cute little response, CP3’s kid became a star, and that means that Justin Bieber is ready to give him a true lesson in swag.

At last Thursday’s complete drubbing of the Boston Celtics, ever the convenient Los Angeles sports fan, Bieber took young Paul under his wing and did things like “take him to the concession stand”, which has quotes around it because you know he was parading this little dude in front of every girl at that game. And we already know all too well that Bieber doesn’t give a crap about what happens at NBA games, so I rest my case.

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We don’t really ease back into our regular features scheduling until Monday, but Christmas is over, right? That’s it. When the 26th hits, it’s the end of the “everybody singing Jingle Bells” jazz and straight into non-stop year-end lists until January.

We didn’t get to write about EVERYTHING Christmas-related this season and a lot of stuff is just being shared around today, so I thought I’d perform a gesture of good will and put everything relevant to post-Christmas Wednesday in one handy spot for the enjoyment of all. Or the enjoyment of anybody still clinging to Christmas, I guess.

Up first: School children singing a Robert Griffin III Christmas carol.

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The only upside to a Mayan apocalypse going down at some point today would be the end of whoever keeps making athletes sing sports-related Christmas carols because they’re sports guys and it’s Christmas.

Yesterday we shared with you the 12 Days Of MMA Christmas (“two black eyes!” etc.), and before that it was pro wrestlers singing WWE Jingle Bells. Somewhere in-between we watched the Houston Rockets and Dallas Mavericks sing holiday carols, but I guess that wasn’t explicitly basketball enough, so somebody got 4-pack of Santa hats and made Jason Kidd, James Harden, Blake Griffin and Chris Paul sing NBA-specific Jingle Bells.

It … might be worse than the one with wrestlers. Sample lyric:

Over the “D” he jumps, dunking all the way!

Here’s the commercial. While you’re watching it, I’ll be writing up this thing somebody just sent me of Psy and a bunch of locked-out NHL players singing a Gangnam Style remix of ‘O Come All Ye Faithful.’

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Here’s a video of Chris Paul throwing down a two-handed dunk. The Mayan apocalypse might actually be upon us.

The best part of the clip is that his own son didn’t believe it happened. Hold on to your butts, because this is the most adorable thing you’re going to read today. From Kevin Arnovitz on Twitter, by way of The Basketball Jones:

Well, technically he’s right. Maybe we should bring in Little Chris as a special guest analyst for next week’s Wednesday Dunk Battle. You know, assuming we can convince him between now and then that this is a Legitimate Dunk, and that the world doesn’t end tomorrow.

If that doesn’t count, we can always use CP3 dunking on Dwight Howard from a few years back, because reasons:

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The other day, I noticed someone on my Twitter feed complaining that it’s not ESPN’s and cable news’ fault that all we want is bad news and controversy reported to us. And I thought, “Hold on, I don’t want that. Who wants that? People who want that suck”, and so on and so forth. I guess it’s kind of true, and I really just don’t want to believe that there are sick people who are so miserable with their own lives that they can only feel better by watching other people suffer. That’s probably why Andre Johnson’s amazing act of kindness last week went largely unnoticed. Because it wasn’t sexy or scandalous.

Well screw that, because we like good stories about good athletes, so with that, Los Angeles Clippers guard Chris Paul is our Super Cool Athlete of the Week because he took a trip home to Winston-Salem yesterday to donate time and money to local kids so they could spoil themselves with toys. Teaming up with fellow Wake Forest alum Josh Howard (who couldn’t attend, but he’s still cool), Paul gave 100 gift cards valued at $100 to 100 at-risk kids, and by my Florida education I believe that comes out to $6 trillion.

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