I’m not suggesting that anyone waste their time following the Redskins this preseason, because that’s exactly what it would be–a waste. That said, one of the more fascinating quarterback controversies is shaping up in DC, even though it’s for the No. 3 spot on Washington’s roster. Colt Brennan, the incumbent No. 3 whose job seems to be on the line as incoming rookie Chase Daniel puts together a fine preseason, including a TD pass in his preseason appearance Saturday.
Both men were interviewed by, of all people, Redskins Pro Bowl tight end Chris Cooley, who couldn’t jam a camera in Daniel’s face fast enough. The dichotomy of the two men is what stands out; Brennan seems resigned to his fate while Daniel treats Cooley like actual media, spewing canned sound bites and all. “We won! That’s what matters, right?” Uh, sure…Chase.
But the one thing to take away from all of this? “Colt” and “Chase” as first names sound kinda gay. via.
America’s H-Back is still piddling around with that video camera that his wife got him for Christmas (I’m guessing), but Redskins tight end Chris Cooley doesn’t really seem to be grasping the fact that internet videos are terrible without cats, an 80s soundtrack, or pratfalls (or if you’re lucky, all three). I guess Cooley is pretending to be Cowboys tight end Jason Witten, but he looks more like a serial killer chilling in the Bayou more than some preppy dude from Tennessee. And since when does Witten have Kato as a sidekick? I guess the secret’s out now: Jason Witten is the Green Hornet. as seen here.
Noted Washington Redskins H-Back and burgeoning internet “personality” Chris Cooley was driving around in Wyoming last week(because this is what Chris Cooley does. He doesn’t knock up recently acquainted women or handle firearms or even play Madden all day. Nope. Dude is in a truck driving around one of those square states on the map). He then encountered one of the three possible things one could encounter in Wyoming: a dead cow. The other two things, for the record, are living cows and extreme boredom. From Cooley’s blog, via Shutdown Corner:
We were cruising around on our new land in Wyoming the other day and we found an old dead cow. So we decided that we would get rid of it by setting it on fire. Needless to say, it was a success.
I hope it was a success. How exactly does one screw up setting fire to a cow? Is there a class involved? I’m sure it’s a major at Ohio State, but what criteria does one use in rating bovine intervention. I guess this is why I’ll never play in the NFL. That and my flagrant alcoholism.
Washington Redskins tight end and NFL everyman Chris Cooley is the subject of a new web-based reality series appearing on YouTube. The Cooley Zone will follow Chris, his wife, his brother, and his brother’s wife in Chris’ house. And then every week, one of them will get voted out. That’s a reality show, right? See a “preview” of Chris’ show after the jump.
In other news, Michael Vick is now shopping himself to be the star of his own reality series, in large part to pay off his creditors. Hell, Vick would probably give Donald Trump a blowjob if it would get him squared away financially. I know you would.
Redskins tight end Chris Cooley (not pictured; that’s his wife Christy) has come through with another gem on his blog. This one is a splendidly homoerotic tale of celebration following the ‘Skins’ victory over the Seahawks on Sunday. Following an attention-grabbing lede (”There is no better way to celebrate a win than getting grabbed and punched in the balls by a bunch of offensive lineman on the bus”), Cooley goes on to explain his quality time with teammates:
Last Thursday in practice… I had just finished off my block and turned back to see [a teammate] wallowing around on his hands and knees trying to get back to his feet. I don’t really know why, but I thought it would be funny as hell to air hump him in while he was down…
So, back to the bus, when the game ends I usually load up on bus #2 and move towards the back with the offensive line, [tight end Todd] Yoder, and the kickers. Kind of our little after the game club.
We call it “The White Guys on the Team Club.”
OCHO CINCO DEACTIVATED FOR STEELERS GAME — Bengals wideout Chad Johnson-Cinco has been suspended by the organization for an unspecified violation of team rules, although a Bengals blogger says it’s because Ocho overslept and missed a team meeting (link via PFT). A team meeting at 8:30 p.m.
BRADY QUINN HAS A BOO-BOO — Brady Quinn, fresh off his first career win as the Browns’ starting QB, has a broken index finger on his throwing hand. Experts such as myself suggest that may affect his throwing, and also his pointing on the dance floor. Quinn will play, but doctors have warned that he “cannot damage the finger any further.” Which is why he’ll keep it safe in another man’s ass until Sunday.
TOO BAD FOR LINEMEN — The life expectancy for pro football linemen is 52. Hey, that’s great news! As long as it’s still the 18th century.
