Jamaican sprinter Usain Bolt has two great talents: being the fastest person in the world and steamrolling blondes.

By way of Fourth-Place Medal comes this clip of Bolt hitting 9.79 in the 100 meters at the international Diamond League meet, running into a flower girl who’d wandered onto the track and dragging her along with him as he tries to stop running. When asked what they thought of the clip, Yahoo! users said “FIRE CHRIS CHASE” and “HOW IS THIS NEWS”, adding “fire chris chase bleargh”.

Oddly enough, the video reminded me of this:

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Maybe it’s not a camera phone at all, maybe someone hooked up a JVC Slim Cam to a word processor and let it be struck by lightning until it got Internet.

You might have to turn down the volume before you hit play, but don’t let it lessen the incredible athletic accomplishment of leaper Justin Bethel, a six-foot defensive back from Presbyterian College. Bethel jumped a reported 39.5 inches at the combine, and while the jump isn’t technically the “60-inch vertical leap” you’ll see it advertised as elsewhere, it’s still a guy setting up a shorter man’s height in boxes and flat-footing it to the top.

And hey, it might not help him in his career, it’s at least inspired a level of discussion online ranging from “you are an angel I met your dad and I love you” to “chris chase needs to be fired”. That’s a true sign that you’ve made it.

[h/t poor Chris Chase at Shutdown Corner]