Thanks to reader N for these pics of the big Swami, who had a case of the Swamp-ass at the big pro-am in Charlotte. Here’s his account:

Went out to catch part of today’s Pro-Am for the Quail Hollow Championship in Charlotte. Boomer was playing with Jerry Kelly and Michael Waltrip. It was painful watching him literally limp around the course, but as you would expect he was quite the entertainer. I was trying to convince a buddy to yell out a Boomer-esque “WWHHOOOOPPP” in his backswing, even offered him $50 but he wouldn’t bite.

I would have done it for $20, but I’m a prick and I don’t count pro-ams as real golf anyway. Hey, let’s all look at Chris Berman’s sweaty butt!

After seeing this image, I was surprised to learn that Chris Berman has spent the last 30 years working for ESPN, and not drinking Wild Irish Rose and sleeping on a park bench.  Although I suppose it could be both.

So what happened here?  Did Berman yell at the hair and makeup people, or did he roll straight to the set after leaving Mons Venus at dawn?  Or hell, why not both?  Seems like “all of the above” is a good answer to any question about what Berman’s doing.  Is he under the influence of (a) tequila, (b) illegal Canadian depressants, or (c) food served on a stick?  Gotta go (d) all the way.

[Kissing Suzy Kolber]

In a last-ditch effort to gain votes in the essential “ready for some football” demographic, both Barack Obama and John McCain will be interviewed by Chris Berman on Monday Night Football tonight, which inspired this delightful mash-up.  Berman’s vote, obviously, goes to whichever candidate can legalize over-the-counter sales of deux deux deuxs.  And you know, that’s not such a bad healthcare platform — “Free codeine for all!”

[Hot Clicks]

I can't get enough of Berman acting like the asshole we've always known him to be, and for that ampex2000 should win some kind sports humanitarian award.  If ampex's interview with Deadspin is any indication, this might be the last of the underground Berman videos, so enjoy it.  I haven't heard someone call Al Michaels "fuckhead" since… well, the last time I watched Sunday Night Football.  But still, it's way more fun to watch someone famous do it.

The rash of underground videos of Chris Berman acting like a jackass on camera continues with the latest from American hero ampex2000.  Berman thinks he's so smart because he can smuggle aspirin with codeine from Canadia back into America.  As if that's even remotely what's most awesome about Canadia.  My vote goes to "bed dances" in Montreal, followed closely by 18- and 19-year-olds drinking legally, followed by just about everything related to Vancouver.  Berman's choice, over-the-counter "222s," falls somewhere between universal health care and The Basketball Jones: pretty cool, but not nearly sexy enough.

[Awful Announcing] 

Christmas Ape shared an awesome Chris Berman tirade video last week, and now courtesy of SPORTSbyBROOKS, we have a couple more. First up, a groping, creepy Swami: 

That even made me cry a little inside, and I was an altar boy. Check out one more classic after the jump where Berman says Bobby Knight's favorite word a lot: 

Isn't there a parable about having sex with a colt and a ram? -KD